Feeling Lost

squiffy113

I just ate 1/2 a jar of chocolate peanut butter.

All day I ate clean, fruits, veggies, yogurt, whole grains.

Yesterday I binged on cheese filled pretzels, french fries, cheese, ice cream, cheese cake, and soda.

I am so depressed, not because of the binge (but that sure isn't helping). At the end of May I started experiencing excruciating pain in my leg. After several weeks of physical therapy, the pain got better but didn't completely go away. I went to doctor and found out there was something seriously wrong with my back and it was pinching a nerve. Unfortunately PT wasn't going to solve my problem and to get some relief and to stave off serious problems in the (near) future, I need back surgery.

I'm 27 years old and I have to have back surgery.

Mind you, I've already had 2 major knee surgeries and cancer among a grab bag of other uncomfortable and painful conditions. I'm so tired. After my second knee surgery I started exercising like a fiend and really watching what I ate. I was doing awesome. Then I tumbled into depression where I started binging like a champ. After clawing out of that hole and trying to kick the binge habit for good, this happens.

I've spend the last few weeks crying and complaining to my friends and family. They've been wonderful but I feel like I'm taking advantage of their kindness. I am so devastated. I don't know if or how I'll ever feel good or healthy again.

bdenitto

Hugs! I am sorry that you are having such a hard time.

FitOldMomma

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But, you've gone through some pretty hard stuff already and you climbed out of it!!
You'll do it again. Right now you're overwhelmed with bad news, but after the surgery maybe you can get back in the groove of better fitness and nutrition and you'll be happy again.

lillyrose2020

You don't have to punish yourself for over-indulging once, it happens. Instead, draw a line under and start fresh the next day.
If you have the support of people close to then make the most of it and keep talking about what you're feeling. An intense desire/need to binge can't be swicthed off but maybe there are coping techniques that could help. Plus depression must make everything a million times more difficult. Have you ever spoken to a doctor or had any other kind of help?

Catsheep

I can relate to feeling down and depressed . It makes things that much more difficult. Something that I am doing right now is making small changes and adopting them into my lifestyle. I have tried to eat clean and exercise like crazy and it has lasted for a short amount of time before I burned out. I feel like by taking things a little bit slower we can incorporate the actual changes and keep them. Just remember, every journey begins with one step no matter how big or how small. You are doing something and that's more than nothing. Therefore you are already succeeding. Keep at it! Nothing comes easy. But it is sure worth it in the end.