Not Food Stress This Time

stressd1mom

Okay, so this has nothing to do with my weight loss journey, I actually think things are going fairly smooth there. This is about family Christmas stress & I don't know what to do.

A little background. My sister is 41 years old, with no children & is very self absorbed. She always has things her way. Everything has to be done at her time & on her terms. Compromise isn't a word in her vocabulary. Now I am 32 with 2 children at home & a stepdaughter that comes to visit only twice a year. With Christmas on a Saturday this year, it is really throwing off the visitation. My whole family gets together every year for Christmas at my mom & dad's. Sunday is basically the only day that will work. My sister doesn't think it will work out because it will get too late & they have to work on Monday. I said we can start early, that's not good enough for her either. She wants to do it New Year's Eve.

We only have my stepdaughter for a week at Christmas & last year we did something fun with the kids on New Year's Eve, we took them to the Mall of America & there was a big celebration bash. I don't want to lose a 'special' day when she is only here such a short time.

It just makes me want to scream & I am losing my Christmas cheer. Petty sqwabbing is not what the holiday season is supposed to be about. Apparently, no one told my sister.

Anybody else have family like that or have any advise as to what I should do? Thanks for listening to my rambling rant.

tlp8rb

My whole family gets together every year for Christmas at my mom & dad's.

Since your parents are the hosts for this event, they should be the ones who determine the day. Your mother can tell your sister that she and your dad enjoy spending time with the grandchildren at Christmas and the best day to do that is on Sunday. Then mom should say to your sister - "I sincerely hope you can join us" and leave it at that.

When you speak about your "family" - the ones under your roof come first, then parents, then siblings. It is time for you to have your own Christmas traditions. If your sister is 41, then your parents are in their 60s. Is hosting this event getting to be a burden on them? Think about it. Extra cleaning, cooking, decorating, etc. may be a problem for them but they don't want to hurt anyone by saying so.

By the way, I'm 69 and my kids are all in their 40s so I know of what I speak.

happy_jax

Just my opinion, but it sounds as though the time you and your immediate family get to spend with your step daughter is the most special thing for you - and therefore something that shouldn't be sacrificed?

I know it is so difficult, as you don't want to be mean and it's nice to keep everyone happy - but I think you have to be a little bit selfish...tell your sister and your parents in a reasonable way why it is so important to you - and if they can't come to an arrangement that will work for you, then perhaps for-go the family event??

Christmas is a bit of a stress for me too...I usually spend the morning at my dads, have Christmas dinner at my mums, the early evening at my partners mums and late evening at his dads...then home to feed my cats late at night! This year though, I was nearly in tears at the thought of another knackering day and my mum said "be selfish, do your own thing!" - so I am going to spend the day just with my partner and do the family visits in the days before and after - so who knows, your family may understand too and it could be an easier solution than you think!

Either way, I hope you have a lovely Christmas! It's supposed to be a magical time...so enjoy it! :happy: