I'm my own worst enemy.

bebeblues

I'm worried about falling into old habits and making excuses. I'm worried that I'm going to give way to my emotional eating. Stressed about looking and feeling better but even more stressed that nothing is getting done at home. Torn between the me I want to be for me and the me I need to be for everyone else. And 100% tired of feeling like I am the help and not the mom/wife. How do I make it all work?

ksolksol

First, quit inflicting the word "excuse" on yourself. There's typically a reason we eat what we eat, although it might not be a good one. Don't beat yourself up on top of everything else. Someone once told a friend of mine, "You'd weigh a lot less if you got off your own back." Deep breaths. Evaluate what you are doing health-wise without casting judgement on yourself. You sound like you're under a lot of stress -- are there ways you can reduce that stress?

epido

Make sure you continue to make the time for you! Once I finally decided to make me a priority, everything else has gotten better. By taking care of myself, I have more energy to do the other things. I'm not sure how old your profile pic is, but if you currently have a little one that is still that tiny, let go of some of the things you feel you need to do. It's ok to let the house be a bit messier from time to time. The dishes in the sink aren't going anywhere, and they won't implode if they don't make it into the dishwasher until after playing with the little one or going for a walk.

Loosing weight/getting healthier can be hard work, but it shouldn't stress you out. Yes, I have been frustrated when I haven't made the progress I thought I should be making, but I wouldn't say that I have ever been stressed about it. The big thing to remember is that a healthy and happy mom/wife helps to make everyone around her healthier and happier. I know we have been told we can "have it all", and while I believe you can have pretty much anything you want, I don't necessarily think you can have everything at once. With goals, there are sacrifices that have to be made to get there. You just have to figure out what you are willing to sacrifice to get to your current goal. And who's to say that as you progress towards that goal that you can't reassess where you are and make changes? Don't be afraid to ask for help around the house, or in what ever other areas you are feeling overwhelmed.

You'll figure it out, and get to where you want to be. There may be a lot of trial and error to get to where you know what works for you and your family, but the most important thing is to not give up!

Cheekies_

I feel you, girl! We moms are the glue that holds our families together but what holds us together?

I'm curious... How old are you children? You sound exactly like I me, when I was nursing one and dealing with 3 others.

Not sure if you're in the same boat but here's how it went down for me. You want to workout, but after a few days of going to the gym (which takes a minimum of 1-1/2 hours out of your day) or exercising at home, you find that somehow the dishes are piled up, your laundry has become "Mount Washmore" and the kids are exhausted because they're getting in the bed too late. For some reason, that I haven't figured out yet, Mom taking 1-2 hours a day for herself just throws the whole house into CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). And to top it off, Mom is exhausted and stressed. I've heard that exercise is supposed to relieve stress! :laugh:

Everyone that is depending on you, is depending on you to be 100% of what they need. I had to explain to my family (mostly hubby, since kids are young) that Mommy/Wife is only one person, with 100% to give in total. So this 100% has to be divided by everyone, with something left over for me. The things that do not get done just simply have to be picked up by someone else.

My kids are 3, 5, 8, and 10. The things they do to help are not perfectly done, but they are mostly done and that's enough. The truth is, I had to lower my standards and I'm so much happier for it.

Mommy cannot do it all and be it all. My heart goes out to you. I have felt what you are feeling. You can do this, Sweetie!

bebeblues

Cheekies,
Thank you for your post. You hit the nail on the head. I have a 5 year old and a 9 week old. It's a lot of work and when the baby sleeps during the day, I can't clean or cook or work out or sleep. lol All things that still need to be done. Pleasing everyone isn't in the cards, so it's always disappointing myself. I rather let myself down than my husband or sons.

You are my hero, Cheekies! 4 kids?! I don't know how you do it.

tulips_and_tea

This is going to sound overly simplistic and it's not meant to minimize your feelings, but remember the "oxygen mask on an airplane" rule - you MUST take care of yourself first in order to be an asset to others. But, it's not ALL your responsibility to take care of everyone. Delegate what you can. A family is a team and must work together. I realize your kids are young, but set some boundaries now so that everyone doesn't just expect you to do it all!

farmers_daughter

It is just me and my two girls. What other people have said is true. You must make yourself a priority.
I do not have the cracker jack box family. My meals are usually different than the kids. My kids 8 and 7 help (after I've screamed at them multiple times) to pick up after themselves.

You must remove the picture in your head of how it's "supposed to be" and relish how it is. Your health is a priority.

I know I'm gonna sound like a butt for it, but your husband is a grown adult. There are things that he could help out with to give you an extra hour in the day, and there should be absolutely zero shame for that.

I really don't know how my mom had us in bed at 8:00 pm. I get off at 5, immediately go workout, then get home around 7-730, fix supper, baths, laundry, homework, and bed. Do they all get done. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Do my children have to wash off a spoon if they need one at least 1-2 times a week. ABSOLUTELY YES. And you know what. That's ok.

About once a month I get the opportunity to actually clean, and I cherish every moment of it. It's a celebration when I can see both sides of the sink.

Really you have to make time for you, and you know what. Worst case scenario....with a teeny tiny one who takes 100% of your time right now. Now may not be the time that you need to try to find time to workout, just focus on what's going in your mouth and what you bring home from the grocery store. Now may be the time you try to focus on going up and down the stairs a couple extra "unneccessary" times when doing laundry or whatever. You look goofy but you got a super mini heartrate raiser didn't you? Do that everyday... that does something.

You got this doll