Advice on having to defend my diet to people?

Rlavigne93

I'm not sure if maybe it's just a problem for my area or what, but people have been making...assumptions about my weight loss. It's hardly been dramatic, but I've had people accuse me of being anorexic or on drugs several times.

I eat well, but I haven't been eating much at work because I work in fast food. Just sides of chicken. I've tried to explain that I eat plenty, I just prepare it at home. They don't seem to understand. Someone brought in cake for a coworker's birthday, and when someone saw me eating a small piece with no icing I was told "we need to talk about my problem." What? It just makes me so mad that people ASSUME I can only have success by resorting to ridiculous and unhealthy diets. I've tried again and again to explain how hard I've been working, and what I've been doing, but they don't seem to hear.

I had a girl come up to be the other day and ask what pills I've been taking. When I explained the only pills I take are freaking vitamins she rolled her eyes. UGH.

Any advice on ways to reassure people that I'm trying to be healthy? Not just get skinny. I tend to get angry and defensive, which just seems to make them think I'm lying.

seltzermint555

Don't explain yourself to them anymore. You don't owe it to them. They may realize, someday in the future (when you don't die of an E.D. or drug overdose and you still look and feel great) that you were being honest.

If it is your parent, significant other, BFF, or #1 boss at work, then all they "deserve" is a short explanation of your healthy habits. I would think that should also be accompanied by a very concerned you asking why they are worried that you would make bad health decisions and what would have given them such an idea.

Brandolin11

Don't explain yourself to them anymore. You don't owe it to them. They may realize, someday in the future (when you don't die of an E.D. or drug overdose and you still look and feel great) that you were being honest.

If it is your parent, significant other, BFF, or #1 boss at work, then all they "deserve" is a short explanation of your healthy habits. I would think that should also be accompanied by a very concerned you asking why they are worried that you would make bad health decisions and what would have given them such an idea.

+1

This is a good opportunity for you to practice assertiveness and strong boundaries with others. That is a skill you'll need in future jobs as well as dating and marriage relationships anyway, so may as well start now.

S_Murphree

I quoted this in another post to someone. I read a quote that stuck with me. "What other people think of you is none of your business."

Seriously, don't explain. You're doing it for you.

It doesn't get any better. When your married and lose weight, you're automatically labeled as cheating. I just ignore ignorance...

Keep your head up! :flowerforyou:

jasonmh630

Don't explain yourself to them anymore. You don't owe it to them. They may realize, someday in the future (when you don't die of an E.D. or drug overdose and you still look and feel great) that you were being honest.

If it is your parent, significant other, BFF, or #1 boss at work, then all they "deserve" is a short explanation of your healthy habits. I would think that should also be accompanied by a very concerned you asking why they are worried that you would make bad health decisions and what would have given them such an idea.

This, to the 10th degree.

Odwaroftorn

Look to your family, long time friends, people at church, or those who are also working towards similar goals (MFP friends) for your support. Fast Food is just way to busy to receive real support from co-workers and most in that industry have not had the training to offer valuable support, just not enough opportunities at such a young age. So it's ok, your co-workers sound concerned, they probably just haven't had the training to let their concern become support. They do care (well, most people do care.)

I also like what's been said, everyone says they want an explanation... but there are people who just want you to take the bait so they can tell you why your wrong. If the questions come in form of accusations, smile and say "I'm feeling fine, thanks for the concerns/thoughts/etc." and go do something else. Amazingly it works.

If you are doing right there will always be someone(s) who will try to get you off the right path. Remember, "right is right even if no one is doing it and wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it." - author unknown If they want you to eat cake because they are, that's in the category of "wrong is wrong even if everyone's doing it" And if you have dietary goals, then consuming massive hunks of cake is wrong.

Another approach is to follow the quote "The reason we have two ears and one mouth is so we'll listen twice as much as we talk." Do something like this "If I understand you correctly, you believe the only way I can lose weight is by taking pills and this concerns you." Then listen to their answer. Restating what someone else says/asks in your own words is a great way to dialogue and to avoid misunderstanding."

If you'd like support from a fellow MFPer, you can send a request friend. We're all in this together.

Jeff

Madelinec117

You don't even have to tell them you are dieting - just tell them you decided to eat healthier foods and cut out as much processed and junk food as possible.

LoneWolfRunner

When your married and lose weight, you're automatically labeled as cheating.

As a divorce lawyer, I can tell you this is very often true...lol