Partner struggles to gain weight

misskatibear

Hey!

So I've tried researching a bit, but thought I'd ask here as well.

My partner is:
- 27 years old
- 8 st 7 lbs (roughly, maybe little less) (121 lbs)
- 5 ft 7 in (173 cm)

He's been to see the doctor a few times, and they referred him to a nutritionist - who wasn't all that helpful - they only tip that he came away with was to 'eat more pulses'. Which is kind of difficult to keep up with, especially when they give me a bad stomach so its difficult to eat separate meals. We were hoping he'd come away from the nutritionist with some kind of meal plan but to no avail.

He occasionally buys 9bars (bars that have around 1000kcal) - which are really handy because it's easier and convenient for him to eat, but they are quite costly.

We're considering buying some nuts in bulk when we can afford it so he can snack on them throughout the day.
We have decided he will switch to full fat milk and butter, but we aren't really sure where else to go from here.

The problem we face is that I'm a bit overweight and he is underweight - so when meal times comes...it's pretty difficult to attend to our problems.

He struggles to eat breakfast, he usually feels a bit ill or not hungry in the mornings. He has tried some breakfast shakes, but again, they are costly.

We're both really worried about him because his head looks quite a lot bigger in comparison to the rest of his body, and it's making him self-concious about it.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone has any tips, as yes, he can be lazy with food so anything that requires preparation or 'effort' he will just not stick to, so needs to be things that are easily incorporated into his lifestyle as well as not too costly.

I am also a little lost with protein powders/shakes, seems they require exercise too? Or could he just drink them without having to weight train as he doesn't really want to do that.

Thanks in advance

tammysoukup

I am going to fallow this as I have a son that has the same problem

Keep_The_Laughter

Your partner has to commit to gaining weight. It won't happen until he is serious about it. This is no different than pursuing weight loss. If he is ready there are some simple high calorie snacks that he can have mid-morning and evenings.

1 large slice of toast, 2 tbsp. of regular peanut butter = 300 cal

mix full fat vanilla ice cream into any fruit smoothie or cold coffee drink for an extra 250 cal per serving

add avocado to salad greens or mix it into dressing for sandwiches for an extra 100 to 200 cal

add whole eggs to sandwiches for an extra 75 or so cal

dip fries/chips in spice peanut sauce instead of ketchup

JoRocka

unless you're ready to shove a tube down his throat and pour liquid food in there- there isn't anything you can do.

The answer is EAT MORE.

And if he doesn't want to eat more- then you can't do anything about it.

Plain and simple. There are easy ways to add calories- olive oil and butter- peanut butter- oreos- ice cream- milk etc etc... but he has to want to eat the things. And that's all there is to it.

So if he doesn't want to- don't bother.

jimmmer

You split your meals 50/50?

Just dish up 1/4 for you and 3/4 for him.

Peanut butter, oil and cream based sauces, stuff like that if he has a difficult time with large volumes of food.

He has to want to eat it though.

Making a mass gaining shake can be an easy way to get calories: protein powder, peanut butter, banana, whole milk - blend it, drink it.

Also drink whole milk through the day. Easy calories.

misskatibear

Oh yeah, he does want to gain weight. It's not me forcing him I promise! lol.

Oh and we both go through peanut butter like crazy people. So he does eat a lot of that.

jimmmer, do you think it would be safe for him to have a weight gaining protein powder without actually doing weights then? That is something we're concerned about.

And he wants to eat more, just struggles that's all.

Just told him he could try eating icecream frequently, he was pretty please about that

jimmmer

Yeah, it'll be totally safe. It's just whey protein with a bunch of carbs and fats added.

As I detailed, you can make your own cheaply using whey powder, whole milk, peanut butter, bananas. Hell, you can blend a tablespoon or two of olive oil into it too for an extra 250 cals per shake.

If he drinks whole milk all day instead of water - it has about 650 cals per litre (in the UK, at least). So he can drink a litre or two a day, he'll get another 650-1300 cals/day.

For breakfast, the Full English: bacon, sausages, toast, fried eggs, beans, etc. can weigh in at 1000-1250 ish (depends what you have and how much) is a heavyweight way to start the day. It'll be tough to start with, but he'll come to love it (as generations of Englishmen have). It's also a certified hangover cure.

Add that lot together and you've got something like 2000-3000 cals/day without lunch and dinner and without breaking the budget.

missycj87

Your partner has to commit to gaining weight. It won't happen until he is serious about it. This is no different than pursuing weight loss. If he is ready there are some simple high calorie snacks that he can have mid-morning and evenings.

1 large slice of toast, 2 tbsp. of regular peanut butter = 300 cal

mix full fat vanilla ice cream into any fruit smoothie or cold coffee drink for an extra 250 cal per serving

add avocado to salad greens or mix it into dressing for sandwiches for an extra 100 to 200 cal

add whole eggs to sandwiches for an extra 75 or so cal

dip fries/chips in spice peanut sauce instead of ketchup

i totally agree with this. i have always been underweight too and it would affect my self esteem from time to time. sometimes i would really feel down and sorry for myself. the key word is "serious". he has to want it. i have went on a lot of get thick quick schemes in an effort to gain weight but the lbs never stayed on. it was because i didnt want it bad enough. for these past 2 months i decided to get serious and put some weight on. i started at 89lbs in the beginning of july. now i am 103 at 5'4". at first i admit that it was hard to get more food down because my stomach would get full quickly but i know i had to get the extra calories in if i wanted to gain weight. i fought through it and i got results in return. when you partner steps on the scale and see that his efforts are paying off, that will be all the motivation he needs to keep going. i promise you

_Waffle_

I know how he can gain weight easily.

gfarretiytr

I know how he can gain weight easily.

http://www.findmall.com/addon.php?32,module=embed_images,file_id=285330

misskatibear

Thanks jimmmer, he seems up for trying to drink whole milk as he does like drinking milk (eew) so that's a good start!

And we'll give the do-it-yourself shake a go as well, seems simple and cheap enough! Do you recommend any particular whey powder?

missycj87 - Your post was inspiring, thank you!

Haha _Waffle_ , he doesn't really drink as he is on pills that don't really allow it boohoo :P

jimmmer

Well, I'm in the UK and tend to buy (if it's not against site rules to say) from myprotein, since it's much cheaper and just as good as the more brand-y stuff you find in shops here.

Not sure where you are located, but I'm sure someone from your locale could recommend something cheap-but-not-nasty.

More calories can be a chore. But it doesn't have to be, you just have to be smart about it. The hardest thing probably is the calorie density of shared mealtimes. (My missus often takes what I serve up, halves it and takes the rest for lunch at work the next day. So we both get what we want/need.)

misskatibear

I'm in Wales, so we did have a chuckle at the Englishman comment haha. So yeah I'll have a look at myprotein now!

And good idea, suppose I should make some effort now too I do sometimes take the rest to work but perhaps I should start being more strict about it!

Cheers for the advice!

jimmmer

I'm in Wales, so we did have a chuckle at the Englishman comment haha. So yeah I'll have a look at myprotein now!

And good idea, suppose I should make some effort now too I do sometimes take the rest to work but perhaps I should start being more strict about it!

Cheers for the advice!

Lol!

Generations of welshmen have also profited from the healing power of the fry-up too...

And you're welcome!

Graelwyn75

9 bars don't have 1000 calories each... I used to have them daily and they are around 230-250 calories each, assuming you mean those seed bars.

Just get him eating plenty of calorie dense foods, as others have suggested.
Ice cream is a good one, seems to be a favourite of some of those here on bulks.
Large bowls of cereal or oatmeal is another one.
Get some rich desserts for after dinner, like cheesecake. You can get those relatively cheap in places like Asda, Iceland, Sainsburys, Lidl etc. Add cream on top. Bread is a good gainer too, though better to get the bakery loaves which are fresher.
If he wants it badly enough, he will get there. Plenty of cheap ways to get in those calories. Cheese is another good one. Check out offers and reductions too. Even Marks & Spencer reduce their foods around a certain time each day, including their bakery breads.
I always found the foods that make me gain weight are bready things and cereals.

stealthq

Oh yeah, he does want to gain weight. It's not me forcing him I promise! lol.

Oh and we both go through peanut butter like crazy people. So he does eat a lot of that.

jimmmer, do you think it would be safe for him to have a weight gaining protein powder without actually doing weights then? That is something we're concerned about.

And he wants to eat more, just struggles that's all.

Just told him he could try eating icecream frequently, he was pretty please about that

I think there's a disconnect here. If he's 5'7" and less than 121 lbs and not gaining weight, then your 'a lot' is probably not the same as the other posters' 'a lot'.

Have him try doubling your 'a lot' and see how that goes.

wkwebby

Pasta is and always be a top favorite high calorie item. You can easily eat 3-4 servings without even realizing it. Spread some meat sauce and you have a high calorie meal (not too many nutrients, but you've at least got some tomato and hopefully protein in the sauce).

It sounds like a great problem to have...sigh...I wish I had those issues.:ohwell:

icrushit

Carbs, the man needs carbs Protein and fat-rich foods will tend to be counterproductive I suspect, as both tend to be so filling, it shall make eating more, quite difficult. Carbs are quite easy to eat more of, before that full feeling kicks in, and thus should be easier to fill up on them a little more.

I would google 'clean bulks', as bodybuilders tend to either be bulking up their weight or cutting it back at any given time, and they do this regularly, so there tends to be a lot of information from bodybuilders on what best to eat to gain weight. One example is a shake made from oats, banana, whole milk and a dollop or two of peanut butter, which would give you 6/ 7/ 800 calories. There is no reason you need to be buying specialist weight gain foods, and depending on how cleanly he wishes to eat, I would be looking at junk foods/ desserts, starchy carbs, and grains with which to bulk up his calorie intake every day.

All of the above aside, I agree with the previous poster who said most all your partner needs to commit to gaining weight, as otherwise it won't happen by chance. I know this all too well at the moment, as I have a parent that needs to gain at least 20lbs+ back, after losing it from not being able to eat properly with a medical condition they're having attended to.

SimaN2014

Fats.... fats are the most calorie dense (9 cal / gram vs 4 cal / gram for protein or carbs).

I would go with the English Breakfast suggestion, but if he can't stomach it to start, you could start him on the idea of breakfast with full-fat hot chocolate with some cream mixed in. Add a croissant or breakfast pastry.

Dark chocolate with nuts.

Olive oil (or any other oil). You could make plain salad for you and drench his in olive-oil heavy dressing.

Cheese

Chicken with the skin (chicken wings are pretty calorie rich and quick to cook)

Add in any carbs (whole grains are generally healthier because they have more fibre, but are just as calorie dense as refined grains. Toast, with lots of butter and jam. More toast. Bread with cheese. Pasta with meat sauce (fatty meat) and cheese. Stuffed pasta (e.g. torteloni with ricotta) and tomato sauce and cream or tomato (or meat) sauce with feta mixed in or tomato (or meat) sauce with mozzarella mixed in. Parmesan on top. You take the sauce before mixing the cream / cheese / feta in and skip the parmesan.

Pasta with pesto (you give up and eat something else, ha ha!)

Oatmeal with whole yoghurt, banana and treacle.

Whole greek yoghurt.

Proteins are good, but they are satiating, so if he doesn't have enough appetite, you could try going carb heavy as well as fat heavy.

Roast a whole chicken on top of potatoes and veg. Feed him the veg roasted in the chicken fat (and the chicken with skin) while you have a side of salad instead.

Shortbread cookies. Shortbread cookies with ice cream. Shortbread cookies with ice cream and dark chocolate with nuts. Chocolate chip cookies.

Nuts.

Pizza with cheese and meat. That's a 7 minute 1000ish cal meal if you get a thicker crust pizza a the shop.

Does he like garlic? Take a cheese like cheddar, plus some cream cheese, lots of garlic. Blend it up with e.g. a hand blender (grate the hard cheese first). Use that as a spread on thick slices of bread.

Tacos. Ground beef, tacos mix, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, coriander. Guacamole (avocado, garlic, tomato guac mix). Sour cream.
all that with tortillas. You can go light on the cheese and tortillas, guac and sour cream

Avocados or cheese or nuts added to every salad.

Tomatoe mozarella salad with olive oil and basil.

tammysoukup

my son eats like a pig but cant gain an once . so not always that they are not eating enough .

jimmmer

double post