Fat B*tch

divediva2

I have heard so many versions of what was called out to you in my life. I honestly don't give a rats *kitten* about some strangers opinion of me.

I have family and friends who love (or like!) me just the way I am. I know that I am doing something to improve myself by eating well and exercising. Wonder what the drunk has got going for him? Most likely not much and any happiness he might have is in the bottom of the bottle or berating others, how sad is that!

FitFroglet

You're at college, you're clearly an intelligent young woman. You're self-aware and strong enough to make changes when you need to and you've already made good progress. You also have a whole bunch of people to support you when things are tough.

The other person tries to gain their self-worth by belittling others - you are far better off than they are. Someone who drink-drives and abuses others for gratification is on a self-destruction journey.

The hatefulness of his actions are bound to have knocked you but please pick yourself up from this, dust yourself off emotionally and carry on with your life. Your life will be getting better and better because you work hard (at college and in your weight-loss).

we need a hugs smiley... ...in the meantime :flowerforyou:

aethre

Once I was putting the bins out at my house and someone leaned out of the back of a car as it drove past and yelled 'Sort yer hair out ya c**t!'

My hair, at the time, was mostly bright poppy-red with a black front section that swept to one side. I LOVED that hair. But I made a gesture at the back of the car, then went back in the house and cried into a cup of tea.

The only reason I was shouted at is because they were idiots looking for an excuse, and there was something about me that made me sufficiently 'different' to comment on. I liked being different. I did not like having hate directed at me.

If you're larger than everyone else then that makes you sufficiently different to comment on. It's not because you're fat. It's because your fatness makes you different. Do you want to be a cookie-cutter person? Hell if I do. But idiots like that need a target, and if you appear different, that's you. So yeah, the shock is the killer, and it's okay to go and have a cry, because you've been target by somebody's hate for no damn reason and that's not fair. Standing up for yourself is awesome but that's not easy in the moment so don't beat yourself up about not having a witty comeback when you're taken by surprise.

But then, you pull yourself up and get on with it - because what's the point in incubating and feeding the negative feelings that they happened to project on to you? There's no point. You're better than them. So get out there and show it to yourself.

My hair remained being awesome until I frazzled it with the bleach and had to give it time to heal XD But yes.

115s

Haha, that's funny... A homeless woman that looked like she had snorted out of the wrong toilet tried this with me, as well. She even said she used to be a power ranger.. What the WHATTT??

taunto

How do other people deal with this? Especially when they are ongoing a weight loss journey?

By letting this instance push us towards our goal and make it our motivation. Its human nature to be upset about such things but don't let it hold you down forever. Pick yourself up and soon enough you will be at your goal weight

kimnsc

I once had someone that I hadn't seen in several years tell me "what happened....you used to be so pretty".
I just turned and walked away and told myself that in order to be so ugly to someone else they must be a
miserable person and move on. It's not always easy but try to consider the source.

People like that motivate me....Because I can and have lost weight, they will always be the way they are, ugly on the inside.

HealthyGinny

I think that it tells more about him than you... He sounds like a stupid jerk to me but I totally get that it upset you a lot. I'm sorry and angry on your behalf

I join the hug fest :flowerforyou:

Carli38

I am sooo sorry that happened to you, I agree with everybody else that replied, people can be jerks especially drunks. That has happened to me before and its hard to ignore it but I always used that as motivation, like a "ill show you" kind of moment sometimes that the only way to keep from giving up.

Siigh_duck

He probably has a small d***

QFT

+1

cjcarter77

I had someone do something similar to me while I was jogging at a outdoor track!! It does hurt your feelings, we wouldn't be human if it didn't but I thought to myself, at least I am trying, you sir will forever be a fool. Try not to let the words of uninformed, unkind people sink in. In the grand scheme of life, they seriously are insignificant.

shireeniebeanie

While enjoying a nice bicycle ride, I had redneck insult me from the window of his pick up truck and I chased him down on the left, caught up with him at a traffic light. pounded on his door with my fist and proceeded to tell him off with both colorful words and creative gestures before I told him to enjoy the view of my fat *kitten* as I pedaled past him. He didn't say another word and just rolled up his window.

Another time I had a young guy slap my butt and say something obscene about my weight as he passed by me in the opposite direction. Imagine his horror when I turned around and followed him and very loudly began calling him out on his inappropriate behavior. All I got from him was a bunch of stammering.

There's nothing scarier to weak-minded men than a woman who's been pushed to the breaking point and doesn't give a *kitten* any more! :explode:

Give 'em the crazy eyes, too, for good measure.

harrynich

I have a couple of thoughts that may be helpful but understand they may not be at all.

First of all, I think this is not only about size but also about a culture where women are devalued. As we move at a glacier's pace toward equality, some men use any excuse they can to perpetuate a threatened culture of hating women. In a way he's yelling at all women, targeting your vulnerability.

I have a sister who is fat phobic. She'll take about large women to me as if she somehow can't see that I am morbidly obese! When I point it out she stops talking. She has internalized a cultural hatred of women.

I have never been insulted for being fat. It's quite the opposite. Whenever I refer to myself everyone says, "No, you're not. And why would you use such a hateful word to describe yourself?" I don't think fat is a hateful word, though it is most often used that way.

I started therapy years ago. I thought I needed to learn how to organize my calendar better! Yes, that was my excuse for going to therapy. Hilarious in a way. But I found out over time that why I was really going was to deal with two horrible events in my childhood. One, I was sexually molested as a child, and two, when I tried to tell my mother about it at age 12 she gave me a bottle of sleeping pills to take. It took me a few years to finally cry over my childhood.

My fat phobic sister says horrible things like, "Fat people cry so easily!" Well, some of us do. Some of us are large and subject to tears for the same reason, but the reasson is rarely that we are big.

Many of us, I believe, have difficult stories. Yes, we are responsible for maintaining our health. But I could never have joined MyFitnessPal without first finding out that my gut is primarily in constant pain from being held in tension. I could never have started taking better care of myself without first discovering that there was a reason my gut felt the way it did--which I didn't even recognize until I got to the point where I could feel some sadness, and even a little anger though that is harder for me, over my abuse and loneliness as a child. Many of us have real things to cry about; even if they're not as dramatic as my story, the pain is every bit as real.

And the haters pick up on this. They're not yelling at us primarily because we're big. They're yelling, I think, because they perceive us at vulnerable. I think that's why my sister says fat people are such big criers. because she sees the vulnerability and it frightens her because she has such a backlog of hurt.

None of us woke up one day and decided it would be fun to become fat or obese. Kids growing up without exercise, being fed fast food, never getting away from the various screens that hypnotize many of us, well--they're growing up in houses where kindness isn't always the primary operating mode of the family. It's just my two dollar opinion, but I think obesity is a symptom of a society that isn't equipped to deal with feelings of sadness, anger, and isolation.

I am so angry at this hateful person for targeting you and triggering such sadness.

None of what I've written my apply to you personally, and I'm not suggesting it does. I guess what I'm trying to say is that our lives, all lives, are huge and profound and when someone targets our vulnerability they are cutting away a huge part of our heart and psyche with a machete knife of emotional and spiritual violence.

I ate because it helped calm my gut down. I ate because I lived in shame and silence. I ate because I was so sad.. That hasn't gone away entirely, but I'm getting better. I'm even okay if I don't lose the weight. But joining this site has been incredibly life-affirming because I no longer feel I am alone.

I hope something I've said is useful. If it isn't, I am really fine with you thinking that there are some really strange people online!

forthemoney

OP, that sucks and I'm sorry it happened to you. I've never had strangers yell hurtful things at me but I was horribly bullied for two years in middle school, and even decades later carry some of those scars. You know how I deal with it now when someone does something mean or jerky? (Even if it's just cutting me off in traffic). It's similar to something someone else said: I remind myself that they might not always act that way. Maybe they're on the way to the hospital, where their kid is. Maybe they're in the middle of a bad breakup. Maybe some bad thing just happened to them and they can't cope. None of that would make being a jerk OK, but keeping that in mind does make it easier for me to forgive and forget.

RekindledRose

People who drive by cyclists/runners/walkers and yell out insults at them are cowards. It should be legal to shoot them, ha!

But really; they can make you so mad! I don't know what kind of poor upbringing these kinds of people had, but they are not in any way contributors to society. You're on a good journey. Don't let the cowardly haters get you down.

*hugs*

sportmir

Yes, those words can hurt but remember he has no brains and pretty soon his drunk head will hit a tree, hopefully he will not crash into other people. You, you are working on a better and healthier you, you are awesome!