Is it rude to ask a pregnant women when she's due

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Chibukalu908
Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
in Chit-Chat
if she didn't tell you that she is pregnant but its very obvious that she is? I am talking about a 9 month pregnant belly
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  • Organicgasm
    Organicgasm Posts: 592 Member
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    It wouldn't be rude to ask..... BUT you could still be wrong so it's generally best not to. Unless she is shopping baby items.
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Well, frankly speaking... what if she's at 6mos but in your opinion she looks like 9 mos?

    Maybe start by asking "hey are you pregnant? congrats! When are you expecting?" instead of just outright asking "when are you due?", which kinda implies "Hey, you're massive, when's that thing popping out?"

    ETA: and yes, also agreed with above... what if she's not pregnant at all... that would be horrible. and rude. Very rude.
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
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    I would ask if they're pregnant, first.. Even if it's obvious lmaooooo
  • buzzcogs
    buzzcogs Posts: 296 Member
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    If she's a close friend or family member and your are 110% sure she's pregnant no. If she's a coworker or a stranger and she doesn't bring it up keep your trap shut. In all cases, use your common sense and err on the side of minding your own business! :-)
  • Jim_Barteck
    Jim_Barteck Posts: 274 Member
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    http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=44587
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member
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    It's extremely rude. The woman you ask could be overweight rather than pregnant. If you're not friendly enough with her for her to tell you of her own accord when she's due, then what business is it of yours in the first place?
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    If she's a close friend or family member and your are 110% sure she's pregnant no. If she's a coworker or a stranger and she doesn't bring it up keep your trap shut. In all cases, use your common sense and err on the side of minding your own business! :-)

    I agree. It would be awful if you just thought she was pregnant, and she really wasn't. (Browse some of the "worst comments about being fat" threads, and you'll see how many women get asked if they're pregnant or when they're due when they aren't pregnant, and it generally makes them want to cry)
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
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    A pizza delivery man once asked me when I was due. I wasn't and have never been pregnant. It was horribly offensive.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    Um, yea, I don't touch that subject with strangers. Ever. The baby could be popping out and I'd be all "so, how's your day?"
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    Since I do look quite obviously pregnant, and don't mind sharing .... yes, I am expecting.

    However, when people ask when I'm due, I just say "October." Sometimes I'll say "mid-late Oct" but if people press for more details, it does get annoying. Due dates are just an estimate, and since sometimes measurements and dates don't agree (like for mine this time - there's up to 2 weeks difference) it's sometimes hard, and useless to be more precise.
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
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    Since I do look quite obviously pregnant, and don't mind sharing .... yes, I am expecting.

    However, when people ask when I'm due, I just say "October." Sometimes I'll say "mid-late Oct" but if people press for more details, it does get annoying. Due dates are just an estimate, and since sometimes measurements and dates don't agree (like for mine this time - there's up to 2 weeks difference) it's sometimes hard, and useless to be more precise.
    Octomber. Yes, definitely Octomber.
  • Organicgasm
    Organicgasm Posts: 592 Member
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    Since I weeksok quite obviously pregnant, and don't mind sharing .... yes, I am expecting.

    However, when people ask when I'm due, I just say "October." Sometimes I'll say "mid-late Oct" but if people press for more details, it does get annoying. Due dates are just an estimate, and since sometimes measurements and dates don't agree (like for mine this time - there's up to 2 weeks difference) it's sometimes hard, and useless to be more precise.
    Octomber. Yes, definitely Octomber.

    I have never given birth when "due" ... not even within 3 weeks. Usually not the correct month. I just tell people how far along I am. Though to be fair... I was only asked with my last one really.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    It's extremely rude. The woman you ask could be overweight rather than pregnant. If you're not friendly enough with her for her to tell you of her own accord when she's due, then what business is it of yours in the first place?

    Extremely rude? What business is it? So, how far does this invasion of privacy by attempting polite conversation extend? Can i ask if she's having a good day or might that be extremely rude because her dog might have just died? Plus what business is it of mine how her day is going? Can i ask if she's enjoying the weather? No, because her aunt might have just died in a tornado in Kansas. Besides, what business is it of mine if she's having a good day.

    it's just questions. ain't nobody dying cuz they got asked a question. and if they are, well, then they should talk to someone about being wound so tight.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    It's extremely rude. The woman you ask could be overweight rather than pregnant. If you're not friendly enough with her for her to tell you of her own accord when she's due, then what business is it of yours in the first place?

    Extremely rude? What business is it? So, how far does this invasion of privacy by attempting polite conversation extend? Can i ask if she's having a good day or might that be extremely rude because her dog might have just died? Plus what business is it of mine how her day is going? Can i ask if she's enjoying the weather? No, because her aunt might have just died in a tornado in Kansas. Besides, what business is it of mine if she's having a good day.

    it's just questions. ain't nobody dying cuz they got asked a question. and if they are, well, then they should talk to someone about being wound so tight.

    I don't think it's a rude question but if you are wrong, it is pretty upsetting. I'm with Beach. Even if I see the head crowning ain't no way I am bringing it up before she does. Nope nope nope.
  • YF92
    YF92 Posts: 2,893 Member
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    "You look a little different... you have a certain shine about you that I just can't put my finger on"
    If she's pregnant and she's telling, you'll get the answer, and you can go from there

    :tongue:
  • tarachamp
    tarachamp Posts: 41 Member
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    It's extremely rude. The woman you ask could be overweight rather than pregnant. If you're not friendly enough with her for her to tell you of her own accord when she's due, then what business is it of yours in the first place?

    Extremely rude? What business is it? So, how far does this invasion of privacy by attempting polite conversation extend? Can i ask if she's having a good day or might that be extremely rude because her dog might have just died? Plus what business is it of mine how her day is going? Can i ask if she's enjoying the weather? No, because her aunt might have just died in a tornado in Kansas. Besides, what business is it of mine if she's having a good day.

    it's just questions. ain't nobody dying cuz they got asked a question. and if they are, well, then they should talk to someone about being wound so tight.

    I don't think it's a rude question but if you are wrong, it is pretty upsetting. I'm with Beach. Even if I see the head crowning ain't no way I am bringing it up before she does. Nope nope nope.

    I am 4 months post partum and someone could think I am 9 months pg. I would be offended if someone asked me when I am due.
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
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    "You look a little different... you have a certain shine about you that I just can't put my finger on"
    If she's pregnant and she's telling, you'll get the answer, and you can go from there

    :tongue:
    Or they'll think you are insinuating they just had sex and are hitting on them. Win win, right?
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
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    My boss asked someone if she was pregnant once......she wasn't, she was just very overweight. She walked away in tears.
    My motto since that day has been "Don't ask, ever". Plenty of other things to talk about and if she wants to talk about it she
    will bring it up.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    If she's a close friend or family member and your are 110% sure she's pregnant no. If she's a coworker or a stranger and she doesn't bring it up keep your trap shut. In all cases, use your common sense and err on the side of minding your own business! :-)

    I agree. It would be awful if you just thought she was pregnant, and she really wasn't. (Browse some of the "worst comments about being fat" threads, and you'll see how many women get asked if they're pregnant or when they're due when they aren't pregnant, and it generally makes them want to cry)

    Not only that, it could be a medical condition that makes her look pregnant - I read this article about a woman who had a medical condition which made her abdomen swell up so she looked about 9 months pregnant, and she really didn't want to explain that to everyone who thought she was pregnant.

    If it's a friend or family member they'll tell you the good news before they look that far gone. If you're not close enough to someone for them to tell you about of their own accord it then don't ask.

    Plus the fact that even when you're actually pregnant you don't want to tell your due date to every tom, **** and harry and talk about the pregnancy or having babies with everyone that you come across. If you want people to know then you tell them. So if someone isn't telling you then probably they don't want to have a conversation about it.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    Just a warning, I made this mistake in June. I was at my bank and I saw a teller walking up to the door. I'm used to seeing her behind the tall bank counters, So never knew what her body looked like. I usually talk with this teller about kids, as she has a Son around the same age as mine. So, as she was walking threw the bank doors, I noticed her stomach was very large and she appeared to be about 8 months pregnant. Without thinking, I said how far along are you??? She replied, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.
    I felt terrible. My intent was never to hurt her feelings and I really should've thought before I spoke I know exactly how it feels to be over weight and I know I hurt her feelings. I felt like the biggest jerk ever. So since then, I really try to keep things like that to myself.

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