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Haters gonna hate (rant)

lisawinning4losinglisawinning4losing Member Posts: 732 Member Member Posts: 732 Member
I hope it's okay for me to rant here. Since I started my weight loss journey I've been getting flack from people. First of all, I'm 5'4 and weigh 165 pounds on a good day. My goal is to get to 140. I'm not trying to be skinny. Also obesity runs in my family. At my heaviest weight I was 195.

Also, I don't have any major problems with self esteem. I see myself as a good person and an attractive person. I just want to lose weight! I'm taking care of myself, and reaching for my goals. That's a good thing!

You would think people would encourage me to lose weight, but instead I get hate from some people. Most of the haters are either people who are overweight and don't care or pretend not to care, OR people who can eat whatever they want and be naturally thin.

Here are some things I'm sick and tired of hearing:

"Stop hating on yourself."
"You look fine the way you are."
"Oh no don't lose weight! I like em thick."
"Have a doughnut."
"You're counting calories? Haha, that's so silly!"
"Does your little phone app say you can eat now? Hahaha. "
"Live a little! "
"Don't be so superficial."
"You have an eating disorder."
"Being fat is not unhealthy."
"Diets are bad for you."
"Don't overwork yourself!"
"A man will love you for who you ARE!!!"

That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.

Seriously, this all just makes me want to lose weight EVEN MORE, so I can shove it in their faces once I've achieved my success!

So thanks for the motivation butt heads! :glasses:
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Replies

  • ajfuellingajfuelling Member Posts: 986 Member Member Posts: 986 Member
    Dude, you need new friends! LOL!

    Here's what I wish they would say to you:

    "Good job!"
    "Keep up the good work!"
    "That's not easy, congratulations on all that you have achieved!"
    "I wish I had the nerve to improve myself!"
    "Can I work out / go on a walk with you?"
    "I'm proud of you!"
    "Screw the donuts, let's have fruit!"
    "You are looking so hot in your (insert sexy clothing item of choice here)"

    Keep on fighting the good fight! If you need encouragement, come here!!! Keep doing what you know to be right for you!!!!!
  • MelsAuntieMelsAuntie Member Posts: 2,834 Member Member Posts: 2,834 Member
    Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !
  • jazzie_redjazzie_red Member Posts: 180 Member Member Posts: 180 Member
    I would reply: Well, I am glad I am doing this for me and not anyone else.

    I think people get nervous around people who want change. It makes them have to look at themselves and most don't want to do that.
  • tabicatinthehattabicatinthehat Member Posts: 329 Member Member Posts: 329 Member
    I get it, too. The other night I got **** for measuring my food. The day before that I was asked about my "yogurt diet" because I didn't want any pancakes. (I had eaten yogurt for breakfast. I'm not on a "yogurt diet." I'm not on any diet.) They definitely act like I have an eating disorder. And it IS always fat people. It irks me, but I get over it pretty quickly when I get on the scale. ;D
  • SkepticalOwlSkepticalOwl Member Posts: 224 Member Member Posts: 224 Member
    Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !

    +1

    This is such a wonderful, warm reply. And true, too.
  • mkfoster9mkfoster9 Member Posts: 15 Member Member Posts: 15 Member
    "I find you bringing up how little or how much another grown *kitten* human adult chooses to eat weird and passive aggressive. If you keep doing it, I will start bringing up politics when we are at crowded bars"
  • HeidiCooksSupperHeidiCooksSupper Member, Premium Posts: 3,836 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,836 Member
    Just smile sweetly, smirk inwardly ,and think, "I'm okay. You're not."

    Or try knodding knowingly, saying, "Ah, yes." Then exhibit total, knowing serenity as you turn away or change the subject. People are stymied by those who agree with them and then ignore them with total self-confidence. It leaves 'em confused.
  • sloth3toessloth3toes Member Posts: 2,208 Member Member Posts: 2,208 Member
  • 530roman530roman Member Posts: 1,819 Member Member Posts: 1,819 Member
    Annoying Person: "Live a little"
    Your response next time: "No thanks, I'd like to live a lot"

    Your attitude is amazing though. Just do what makes you happy.
  • DeipneusDeipneus Member Posts: 1,864 Member Member Posts: 1,864 Member
    Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body!
    You have my vote. Very pretty right now!

    As for your friends, they're crabs. You know how crabs are right? You put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and if one starts to climb out, the others will try and pull it back down.
  • manciu82manciu82 Member Posts: 2 Member Posts: 2
    ha a man will love you for who you are? then why do they cheat? men are visual of course they want somehting good to look at. ( my rant)
    anyways dont let these fools get you down. us bodybuilders always get stereotyped that we do drugs, i dont. or a 'woman shouldnt look like you" etc etc. fat women telling us to cover up at a pool??? wtf?
    your haters dont know you, dont know ur reasons for losing weight ,bottom line this is how America is 'sugar coating the truth', 'telling people these lame *kitten* mottos such as :
    "confidence is beautifull" and u have these fat women with health issues walk around all "confident" BULL****!! you know they have health issues. all these mottos invented to make people feel better about themselves but its a lie!!
    you darling lose your weight , you're doing it for you not anybody else.
    im happy for you taking a stand though!! shove a donut up their mouths!! ignorant *kitten* why do they need to tell you how to look like did you ask their opinion? EXACTLY. do you Boo!! its all for you no anyone else!! be healthy!! xoxo
  • Velum_cadoVelum_cado Member Posts: 1,615 Member Member Posts: 1,615 Member
    I guess I'm lucky to not have experienced any of that kind of negativity.

    I found this bit interesting, though:

    That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.

    I mean, obviously it's true that there are guys who will be attracted to you whatever size you are, and they're not ugly trolls or whatever you seem to think they are. The one thing I really miss about being heavier is the feeling I had of being special in regards to my appearance. The guys who prefer bigger girls, REALLY prefer bigger girls. I liked appealing to that demographic, I guess. My (slim, attractive) husband is one of those guys. Of course he loves me the way I am, and is proud of what I've achieved, and blah blah blah, but now, I feel like I'm kind of boring, physically. I wouldn't change anything because all the "pros" of losing the weight outweigh that one "con", but of all the reasons I lost weight, my appearance and appealing to my preferred gender was not even on my radar.
  • kellyskittieskellyskitties Member Posts: 481 Member Member Posts: 481 Member
    These demon folks are the very reason I keep my self improvement efforts in the closet. They've started to notice now - so I've adopted the "don't make it a thing" defense which is shutting down the diet bullies better than I expected. I don't like the attention it draws and the sudden "right" to be up in my business about my choices. I also don't make it a thing - so I don't say "OH, I wish I could have that" or "Do you know how many calories that burger you are eating is?" I stay out of your closet and you stay out of mine is my approach. So far, working well.

    I have found a few friendly supporters - I share a little with them. Turns out they don't want every detail of my plan anymore than I want them up in my kool-aid about my plan. So they just say "hey, those pants are baggy - GIRL, get some new pants." So, it's like I'm developing a secret club.

    I don't feel a need to let others know for the sake of accountability... that system has failed me many times over. It's for me, about me and it's my accountability to me.

    Also, I agree that you are attractive as is. I don't have that "I'm too big" self consciousness - and I'm not sure losing weight fixes that since it's a mental thing. It's not required to be self deprecating to be overweight.

    I would, however, not have a man that couldn't love me regardless of size. That says you love a body not a person. What happens if I lost my looks for something like cancer? I'd be alone? You'd move on to prettier grass? Then I don't want to waste my time nourishing that relationship anyway. And not all men cheat... I think that depends on their ego and maturity (which isn't based on age) more than being male.
  • zoeysasha37zoeysasha37 Member Posts: 7,095 Member Member Posts: 7,095 Member
    I have a feeling that the people who have said these things are probably nit yet ready to deal worth their own weight or health issues, so it's easier for them to put you down instead of getting healthy themselves.
    Just keep on doing what your doing, and leave them in the dust
  • FaylinaMeirFaylinaMeir Member Posts: 659 Member Member Posts: 659 Member
    I have a feeling that the people who have said these things are probably nit yet ready to deal worth their own weight or health issues, so it's easier for them to put you down instead of getting healthy themselves.
    Just keep on doing what your doing, and leave them in the dust

    bingo most people that say "it's okay to be overweight" NO it's not, it costs our country(s) tons of money and suffering each year. Not to mention how is your family gonna feel when you have a massive heart attack because you had to "eat a doughnut" I'm being dramatic of course but you understand what I'm saying.

    People that try to rationalize being a fat *kitten* are either jealous, scared to face the fact they need to lose weight, or just arseholes in general :noway: :noway:
    Good thing people don't say that to me, I have a tendency to get a little violent/rude :grumble:

    Worst I've had is my mom making fun of me when I was a vegan and getting healthy. She's over 300 pounds and a raging diabetic now because of it.
    My mother in law took me shopping last weekend because we were visiting and I wouldn't buy anything because it wasn't organic gmo free corn syrup free msg free etc you see where I'm going. We just said I was a picky eater and part of me is sure she thinks I have some eating disorder (she did notice I'm losing weight) but he didn't say anything. She's used to it because I have food allergies so I don't eat a lot of the crap she does. Oh well

    I don't do this for them, I do it for me and if they don't like it well.... they can shove it :explode: :mad:
  • cwgrlfthcwgrlfth Member Posts: 21 Member Member Posts: 21 Member
    I agree you are beautiful regardless of weight loss or gain. I have always been told do I for you noone else support you ball the way!! You are rockin
  • SezxyStefSezxyStef Member Posts: 15,271 Member Member Posts: 15,271 Member
    Here are some things I'm sick and tired of hearing:

    "Stop hating on yourself."
    "You look fine the way you are."
    "Oh no don't lose weight! I like em thick."
    "Have a doughnut."
    "You're counting calories? Haha, that's so silly!"
    "Does your little phone app say you can eat now? Hahaha. "
    "Live a little! "
    "Don't be so superficial."
    "You have an eating disorder."
    "Being fat is not unhealthy."
    "Diets are bad for you."
    "Don't overwork yourself!"
    "A man will love you for who you ARE!!!"

    That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.

    Okay so why are you discussing your weight loss with these people? and are you over doing it? do you think certian food is bad? or that you "can't" have it?

    and actually I married a very attractive man...25lbs ago..then gained 25lbs...that one is true...he loved me then and he loves me now and he is attractive.
  • seltzermint555seltzermint555 Member Posts: 10,729 Member Member Posts: 10,729 Member
    Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !

    This.

    OP, also you CAN tell people to stay out of your business.
  • VelveteenArabianVelveteenArabian Member Posts: 758 Member Member Posts: 758 Member
    Stop talking to them about your weightloss or diet or exercise of any of it. If they bring it up, snark right back and change the subject. Or tell them "Thanks for your support" in a sarcastic tone.

    You don't need a cheerleading squad to make you do what's best for you. You can do it without a single person cheering you on.
  • besarobesaro Member Posts: 1,859 Member Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    if you let every little thing people say to you bother you (to the point you have to rant about it on the internet) you will have a long, miserable and lonely life.
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