Mother rant

mcpostelle

@seltzermint just checked this thread again to get refreshed; so, sorry for the late reply. Yes, I do and he lives in the house, but whereas my mother's very outgoing; he's very laid back and oblivious of things. I can sometimes get support from him, but it's only monetary and not emotional. All his emotional support goes to my mother.

Update: I am finishing up this semester in school (Dec. 8th is the last day) and am moving in with my sister sometime in December. I will be applying to many different schools around where she lives in order to prolong staying with her - if I can't feasibly get into one come August 1st I will be back near my parents.

healthygreek

mcpostelle wrote: »

@seltzermint just checked this thread again to get refreshed; so, sorry for the late reply. Yes, I do and he lives in the house, but whereas my mother's very outgoing; he's very laid back and oblivious of things. I can sometimes get support from him, but it's only monetary and not emotional. All his emotional support goes to my mother.

Update: I am finishing up this semester in school (Dec. 8th is the last day) and am moving in with my sister sometime in December. I will be applying to many different schools around where she lives in order to prolong staying with her - if I can't feasibly get into one come August 1st I will be back near my parents.

I've been following this thread and I'm happy for you that you're moving in with your sister! You will have a much better life that way. I hope you don't have to go back to mom and dad-that is a very unhealthy situation!
Good luck!!!

mcpostelle

healthygreek wrote: »

mcpostelle wrote: »

@seltzermint just checked this thread again to get refreshed; so, sorry for the late reply. Yes, I do and he lives in the house, but whereas my mother's very outgoing; he's very laid back and oblivious of things. I can sometimes get support from him, but it's only monetary and not emotional. All his emotional support goes to my mother.

Update: I am finishing up this semester in school (Dec. 8th is the last day) and am moving in with my sister sometime in December. I will be applying to many different schools around where she lives in order to prolong staying with her - if I can't feasibly get into one come August 1st I will be back near my parents.

I've been following this thread and I'm happy for you that you're moving in with your sister! You will have a much better life that way. I hope you don't have to go back to mom and dad-that is a very unhealthy situation!
Good luck!!!

Thanks for your support. I had always been putting off moving away for this reason or that, but I came to terms that in order to live a healthy life I have to say good-bye. I've already told them that I'm moving and they don't seem to care less, but we'll see how it goes when I'm actually packing to go. I honestly don't think I'm going to be coming back to where my parents are. Especially since there's so many schools around where my sister lives - I have more options. I'm even thinking of moving another 7 hours away to finish my degree so it'd be a total of 17 hours away, but I love where she lives so I'll see where life lets me roll.

I'll update again when I actually move out.

mcpostelle

Update, I take back what I said about them being okay with it. Their claws are starting to come out and her tactic has changed to wining and dining me with slight guilt tripping. Still not staying.

pirate_john_75

I had to set some firm boundaries with my mother on this issue. I basically told her flat out, my weight is none of your &$%#@ business and if you want to continue being able to talk to me, you'll stop judging me."

FitOldMomma

mcpostelle wrote: »

I've been keeping my weight-loss and exercise habits secret from my mother since she's just... :grumble:. I try to avoid going out with her even though I am heavily dependent on her and love her. She's just very supportive-ly abusive. For an example, we will go out shopping for "2 hours", but it is in actuality a full-day's worth of boring, looking at the same things over and over, shopping. Hence, I don't get to eat. So, when I do finally convince her to eat and she picks a place we'll sit down to be served (FYI she believes in eating ONE meal a day whereas, I've been eating 6 SMALL meals a day - so going out with her messes my eating schedule up and yes I bring snacks, but I eat them when she's not looking). If she does see me eating my snack then she want them (or she'll eat them all in one go and there's none left for me :ohwell: ) and will get mad if I tell her that they're my allotment for today.

This is when the trap starts. She'll ask what I'm getting and it doesn't matter if I say I'm getting the BBQ Texas burger or the House Salad with grilled chicken; she will always mention how fat I am and how I should get *insert another meal*. I've learned to just ignore her, but then I have to put up with her condescending glances at me while I'm eating. Quite frankly it's stressful and now that I'm of age I've been thinking about ordering shots of whatever they've got. However, I won't let my myself sink that far and there's no way in hell I'll let her drive my car (did that once and she smashed front end to front end with another car not a minute from the house. Granted it wasn't my car, my car, but it was given to me to use by my grandpa to keep. So, technically mine.

Now imagine that every time I go into the kitchen to get something to eat or drink. It drives me up the wall. I am also a science major; so, I'm already stressed out to the max.:explode: When I defend myself and we get into rows she always threatens to kick me out and yesterday she demanded that I give her 45% of my paycheck (I really don't make that much to be able to split it). Any advice on how to handle it other than ignoring her like I have been? I'm looking for a second job (night shift at a hospital near me);so, that I can be A, away from her, and B, more financially independent and hopefully able to rent a place near my college. However, I'm worried with working night shifts her being passive aggressive and purposefully wanting to go out early in the morning and such. I'm really motivated to get this weight off and I want a healthy lifestyle (and less stress). I'm tired of excuses and I'm close to telling her the next time she kicks me out "fine" and sleeping in my car. I've started packing my stuff once before and she came up once she realized what I was doing crying and saying she was sorry. I stopped, but next time I won't.

Go for counseling if available to you. Your mother sounds pretty toxic, but honestly, you sound co-dependent. If you really want to make real changes in your life, get some good counseling to give you the tools you need to make those changes.