Using food for comfort

hiker583

This is probably not new to anyone, but I am finally realizing that I always use food for comfort. I live alone and lonely, and after being hurt badly by family and spouse, I decided to build my life alone. And during the course of getting over all that emotional hurt, I got into the habit of sitting down with a bowl of whatever fatty comes in my way and comfort myself. I want to get out of that mode now so that I can move on with my life and go back to when I was happy with my body. Any tips and tricks on how to do that, I am still recovering emotionally and since I cannot really cut off from family (especially mother telling me that I am a life long series of disappointments), I have to do this with a constant negative emotions pushing back at me. Any tips / tricks / friends who might have gone through the same?

lunalee84

I too am a comfort eater and am trying to move on and get my life back on track. I have come a long way from a few months ago, but it the loneliness gets me at times and food is always there.

I guess my advice is to find something you love to do, and when you feel the urge to eat out of comfort rather than comfort, do that. I focus on cooking, teaching myself new healthy recipes (and making sure I portion it so I don't overeat).

Feel free to add me, and remember it is baby steps forward, and every day is a new beginning.

cmazurek85

Are you able to see a counselor? they can help you with coping strategies whenever you're feeling sad. Eating will only make you feel better for a short while but then you'll feel even worse if you gain weight.

Maybe try running, biking, hiking, volunteering, or engaging in a hobby. Do you have any friends to turn to? If possible, try to find a hobby group on meetup.com. You could connect with people who have similar interests to you.

don't do this alone, physically. its nice to have support online, but it doesnt replace people being there to talk to you, go on a run with you, exercise with you, etc.

I don't know you, but I can tell you that you're not a dissapointment, do NOT deserve to be abused (emotionally, physically) and have so much unused potential. don't waste excess energy on comforting yourself with food.

Palamedes

I'm a tired eater. As in, when stressed and if I have not gotten enough rest, I have something to eat to try and restore my energy level. I think that simply acknowledging the fact that I have a pattern has helped. Instead of getting something to eat, I lay down for a bit and even have a nap. If I'm not going to nap because I'm wide awake, I try and get some exercise in to burn off the excess energy. I've also noted that I think of food (especially bad for you food) as a reward. You have to learn to replace that food with either a more healthy alternative or something else that makes you feel good.

You have identified the pattern. The next step would be to find those things that could serve as a replacement rather than eating more food.

AtLeastOnceMore

I feel your pain, hon. I recently got sick (swine flu/whooping cough) for what turned out to be 9 weeks. I did OK with the stress for the first 6 weeks, and then fell off the emotional cliff when I hit critical mass with my exhaustion and ate everything. Like, everything. I've never been a takeout fiend, but I ended up ordering pizza and other takeouts, eating icecream from the container, entire blocks of chocolate... and using the excuse that I was just too tired from being sick. I wish I could give you advice here, but I'm kind of hoping for some myself! Good luck, mate!

hiker583

Thanks for pointers so far. Where I live I have no friends, most of them have moved elsewhere and I don't feel like bothering them with my problems anymore. I did lot of talking with them in last few years. I do a lot of activities - running marathon, biking, sewing, blog writing, but lately I have lot interest in them all. I thought I would prepare for a triathlon, but I just cannot make myself get out of bed and start the training.

CyberEd312

Counseling would be where I would start... It made a world of difference for me to confront my demons and work them out, once I was able to identify my short coming, understand them, and work through them, it totally made the rest of this journey so much easier. (Not that losing all the weight was easy, but atleast I didn't have the mental roadblocks stopping my progress). Best of Luck

Palamedes

I think the MFP community provides some nice virtual friends. I'm certain you could find someone with many of your same interests. On your list, I've been doing biking for exercise, I write quite a bit for work and fun, and oddly enough I'm interested in sewing as an art. I also have a sister that is a crazy good quilter and has about every type of sewing machine known to man in her secret workshop in Florida.

Some days your MFP friends will struggle and you can help. Some days you will struggle and can find some support. I'm a bit luckier than you that I have a great wife, good friends, and a very supportive (long distance) family that helps me with my fitness goals. However, if all those disappeared, I think I would still depend on some MFP friends to keep me on the straight and narrow.

dopeysmelly

Thanks for pointers so far. Where I live I have no friends, most of them have moved elsewhere and I don't feel like bothering them with my problems anymore. I did lot of talking with them in last few years. I do a lot of activities - running marathon, biking, sewing, blog writing, but lately I have lot interest in them all. I thought I would prepare for a triathlon, but I just cannot make myself get out of bed and start the training.

I have managed to work on the comfort-eating cycle over the years, and echo what another poster said, that it's a matter of recognizing the pattern and dealing with it that way. Really questioning every choice in a conscious way.

It sounds you're like me, an introvert, who needs time to themselves to re-energize, but even introverts need external stimulation from other people. Have you thought about joining a triathlon training class? That way you'll be doing it with others, and you may find you develop some friendships that way, with people who know nothing about the issues you've struggled with. Almost like you're a "new" person, and they can take you as they find you.

Meerataila

I've had issues with food ever since I can remember, but I've only been as bad off as you are right now once. But I was there three years. Do whatever it takes to get out now. Enlist any help or start any activity you deem appropriate to do so, but don't procrastinate because it only gets harder as you go along.