Why is it so hard for Mama’s to workout?!

Cheekies_

In 9 years, I had been pregnant for 3 of them and breastfeeding for 5. After my 4th baby weaned, I decided to get it together, lose weight and get in shape. Good plan, right? If only I'd known how hard that was going to be.

Plan A:
Join a gym and workout = check
Clean up my diet = check

Here’s what actually happened…
I started going to the gym. It took 15 minutes to get there, 10 minutes to get the kids settled in childcare, 1 hour to workout, 10 minutes picking up the kids and 15 minutes home. What the…?! That’s almost 2 hours! Ok. I can do this! After about two weeks of this, my house was total CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome), Mt Washmore was growing in my laundry room, we were eating in shifts, the kids were crabby….. I was overwhelmed!

Wha? Exercise is supposed to help relieve stress! I’m not sure what phenomenon causes everything to fall apart if Mama takes a couple of hours out of the schedule for herself, but it happened to me. I gave up on exercise many times in the past after only two weeks. I just told myself “Oh well, this is not my time. The kids are just too young for me to make myself a priority”.

This time, I think I may have figured it out. Everyone that depends on me is expecting me to be 100% of what they need. I am only one person, with 100% to give in total. This 100% has to be divided by everyone, with something left over for myself. I cannot be everyone’s everything. So I changed my plan.

Plan B:
Workout - check
Clean up my diet = check
Do the best I can for my family = check
Let everything else go! = check

I’ve been working this plan for months and it’s actually going well. The kids have to help out where they can. The chores are not done perfectly, but they are done. We hit the high spots and move on.

I’m not sure what men think, but mine doesn’t seem to mind the changes I’ve made. We spend more time together now. I’m not always focused on the kids or the house anymore. Our sex life is better because I no longer put him (or myself ) off, in order to work. It really doesn’t seem to bother him if he has to get his clean underwear out of the dryer in the morning or wash a spoon before he can eat his cereal. I think he’s just happy that I’m happy.

Lowering my standards of what the perfect wife and mother looks like has really changed my life. :happy:

Thanks for letting me put that out there.

ichoose2believe

:flowerforyou:

Mommy guilt is hard. Good for you finding out what works best.

MelsAuntie

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maroonmango211

Couldn't be more true, sometimes we end up putting the kids, spouse, house, chores etc all before ourselves and our needs become lost somewhere. I too have seen an improvement not only in my happiness but also in my relationship with my kids and hubby since deciding to take time out for myself each day. It also helps accepting that the house isn't going to be spotless and perfectly maintained, I think that on top of the exercise has helped with stress relief tremendously (along with that extra adult physical activity going on more often :P ). Way to go figuring out exactly what works for you!

k8blujay2

Ohh... someone follows the Flylady... to be honest though, put it into your routine... Now that you know about how long it takes you... work around it.

edit to add: Good for you... the mess will always be around to clean up later... and soon enough you will have helpers. Great job.

ponycyndi

I found myself in a similar predicament when I first started. But instead of giving up, I realized if I didn't make myself a priority, no one else would.

Then when I lost some weight, I was more flexible :blushing: and working out meant I was stronger and eventually had more energy to get the essentials done.

In doing that, I learned to love myself, do more for myself, and realized that I didn't have to be perfect. By not beating myself up over doing things imperfectly, I'm able to get a lot more done.

Holly_Roman_Empire

I'd say the key to my success was a willing partner. My husband takes care of his own laundry, does the cooking, and watches the baby when I need him to. Without that, I doubt I'd get much accomplished.

Mommy guilt is another thing entirely. I could do my workout while the kid is awake, but I choose to do it when she's asleep. It means less sleep for me, and less time for my husband, but it's what my conscience can live with.

randomtai

I make myself the priority. That is how.

Galatea_Stone

Looks like you're figuring it out, OP. I've never been able to. Even though I rarely sit down, on days I work out, my house turns to chaos. I simply do the best I can. I also stay up later than everyone and get up earlier than everyone to try to bring some order to the place. But seriously, what is this trick you have that encourages someone else to open a dryer door or wash a dish when you get overwhelmed?

Cheekies_

Ohh... someone follows the Flylady... to be honest though, put it into your routine... Now that you know about how long it takes you... work around it.

edit to add: Good for you... the mess will always be around to clean up later... and soon enough you will have helpers. Great job.

FlyLady saved my bacon a few times when I didn't know where to start.

Cheekies_

Thanks ladies! :flowerforyou:

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that had to figure it out and just make it work for me.

ldrosophila

still havent found the mix and this is my first between work and being a new mama I'm just overwhelmed

DjinnMarie

I workout at home. I clean and pick up between sets. It takes 45 minutes tops. The kids have learned to wait until im.done with my set if they need anything. A set takes under a minute.

I make it a priority. Just like feeding my kids or bathing them. Skipping it is not an option.