Stop, Stop! You are doing this ALL wrong

rosnz

Goodness – this weight loss thing is soooo easy.
The extraordinary transformation of the Duchess of York from frump to magazine cover girl has made her the envy of millions of would-be dieters.
Sustainable, easy, cheap – I’m now going to swap from MFP to this ….
Josh Salzmann weight loss program.

7.30am Rise.
8am Breakfast of natural yoghurt, piece of fruit, and a small amount of protein such as venison or a boiled egg.
8.30am Talk about the day’s exercises and the stresses of everyday life. Stretching exercises and prepare for Alpine walk.
9.30pm Set out for challenging Alpine walk from chalet. Typically the walk would include long motivational talks.
10.30am Mid-morning pause for snack such as oat cakes or low-fat fish pate. Resume walk for ascent on Alpine summit.
12-12.30pm Lunch, typically hot miso soup from Thermos flask, including broccoli, chicken and tofu. A satsuma or a few grapes.
2pm Return to chalet. Mid-afternoon snack of vegetable smoothie made from emulsified kale, spinach and other vegetables or small amount of fresh fruit.
3pm Deep-tissue massage or resistance training such as press-ups, sit-ups and step-ups. Or ‘Joshutron’ training, in which Josh uses his strength to provide resistance for Fergie’s specially-tailored exercises. More rest.
5pm Supper – ‘pasta’ made from strips of broccoli or avocado with sauce including low-fat meat such as turkey, venison or lean beef. Or fresh fish and salad or strips of lean meat (often venison) and vegetables.
Dessert made from avocados mixed with cacao powder.
6pm Relaxing evening of rest, conversation and board games.
8pm Snack such as oat cakes, fruit or small piece of high cacao chocolate.
10.30pm Lights out – sleep is vital to the programme.

the envy of dieters all over the world … I'm envious anyone for a short Alpine trek?

BombshellPhoenix

All that's missing is that crazy link at the bottom for garciana cambodoa and raspbury keymatones

missiontofitness

And the point of this thread is...?

rosnz

And the point of this thread is...?

Well I had thought that the simple point was to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow MFP message boards and perhaps even amuse them at how the 'other half' deals with dieting - no need to work, budget etc
BUT I totally missed that it would have a secondary point. It would enable all the people who didn't have " if you can't find something nice to say don't say anything" instilled into their upbringing the chance to let their very 'special' personality traits shine

So two points for the price of one - gotta be a good post

Kalikel

Dutchess of York?

The only one I ever heard of was the one who went topless and (I think) divorced her husband. She was friends with Princess Di - I forget her name.

I only hear about them when they marry, give birth, die or fall of a horse. Well, Harry. I know Harry, lol. Poor Harry.

ASH2038602

This isn't where I parked my car.

Mr_Knight

Reasonable calories and protein, meditation, socialization and hiking up a mountain...

It's actually a pretty good plan.

Blueseraphchaos

Obviously, I'm doing it wrong. Haven't lost a pound, and don't hike in mountains for 4 hours daily. Well, shoot

missiontofitness

And the point of this thread is...?

Well I had thought that the simple point was to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow MFP message boards and perhaps even amuse them at how the 'other half' deals with dieting - no need to work, budget etc
BUT I totally missed that it would have a secondary point. It would enable all the people who didn't have " if you can't find something nice to say don't say anything" instilled into their upbringing the chance to let their very 'special' personality traits shine

So two points for the price of one - gotta be a good post

I was actually curious what it was, since all I saw was a description of a rich person's diet. Thanks for the passive aggressive assumption and response back.

eric_sg61

And the point of this thread is...?

Well I had thought that the simple point was to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow MFP message boards and perhaps even amuse them at how the 'other half' deals with dieting - no need to work, budget etc
BUT I totally missed that it would have a secondary point. It would enable all the people who didn't have " if you can't find something nice to say don't say anything" instilled into their upbringing the chance to let their very 'special' personality traits shine

So two points for the price of one - gotta be a good post

So, you're flame-baiting then?

BombshellPhoenix

I'm in now to find out what's special about me

Kalikel

And the point of this thread is...?

Well I had thought that the simple point was to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow MFP message boards and perhaps even amuse them at how the 'other half' deals with dieting - no need to work, budget etc
BUT I totally missed that it would have a secondary point. It would enable all the people who didn't have " if you can't find something nice to say don't say anything" instilled into their upbringing the chance to let their very 'special' personality traits shine

So two points for the price of one - gotta be a good post

So, you're flame-baiting then?

No, she was trying to post a joke-thread about how much easier it is for rich people to lose weight.

I assume. I assume someone referred to as "The Dutchess of York" is rich.

SandyBVTN

Oh I want to go to this dreamy sounding Alpine retreat! What a heavenly day! If we could only all be so rich and fabulous.

But I'd like to add a nice crisp lake to dip into, followed by a soak in a natural hot spring.

OP, I like this topic! It's fun and surprisingly there are a few great meal ideas in there.

wolf_tickets

So much venison. Perhaps the chauffeur hit a deer?

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

The Alpine hike sounds nice. Out for the rest.

divediva2

The point is you must hike in the Alps to shoot the venison!

Debmal77

Sarah "Fergie"

Unknown

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Kate7294

And the point of this thread is...?

Well I had thought that the simple point was to bring a smile to the faces of my fellow MFP message boards and perhaps even amuse them at how the 'other half' deals with dieting - no need to work, budget etc
BUT I totally missed that it would have a secondary point. It would enable all the people who didn't have " if you can't find something nice to say don't say anything" instilled into their upbringing the chance to let their very 'special' personality traits shine

So two points for the price of one - gotta be a good post

I got the point. Figured you were going to ask for a chalet. LOL

Cranquistador

NO

skinnyinnotime

So much venison. Perhaps the chauffeur hit a deer?

Thank you...you made me :laugh:

Kalikel

Sarah "Fergie"

Yes, Fergie! I remember her.

Is this the same one or a whole new one?

wolf_tickets

The point is you must hike in the Alps to shoot the venison!

The alpine deer live well below the treeline in the valleys. Perhaps she shot a delightfully endangered ibex or a chamois and is claiming it's venison.

Kate7294

Here's one more affordable in nature....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvuc1ujZv6Y LOL

SandyBVTN

lol Kate!

Derp_Diggler

What if I don't want to be the Duchess of York? I'd rather go dutch on a York Peppermint Patty.
Or do the Earl Of Sandwich diet. Mmmmm, sandwiches.

zyxst

Obviously, I'm doing it wrong. Haven't lost a pound, and don't hike in mountains for 4 hours daily. Well, shoot

It's because we don't have a chalet.

socalkay

Thanks OP - you did bring a smile to my face and I do know who the Duchess of York is but who's Josh?

danasings

And how many times has she had to lose the weight again after gaining it all back?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

But I'll take the chalet.

katyj3905

LOL

Alluminati

She left out pooping. Does she poop amongst the trees?