a new day, a new me

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Brady_
Brady_ Posts: 108 Member
in Motivation and Support
i have been through some pretty heartbreaking obsticales lately. Spent 3 years with somebody i loved, my BEST friend, closer to me than ANYone, in history and present. Bought me a ring, and we we had future all planned out. besides the fact that he had been cheating, lying, abusing alcohol (alcholic), physical, literally would pee on me when drunk, list goes on. well, after he pursed women on craigslist while out of town, we broke up. 2 months later, we're trying to repatch things, and he's been staying with me for 3 weeks now. Its finals week (im in college) and so he went home last night to let me study in peace, and he borrowed my laptop. so today after one of my finals, i go to his house to claim it, and he's lying in bed with a naked girl.

I have to have the most lowest self esteem EVER to think of taking him back after all he put me through prior, i am a complete idiot.

SO, this is my commitment to weight loss, I haven't done **** for myself emotionally in a long time. 3 jobs, 6 classes, president of a student organization, etc, very busy. never take time for myself, well, ive wanted to loose 20 poounds for 4 years now.

as of tonight, I am no longer binge eating, no longer looking for food for comport and for a void, its me, the gym, the kettlebell, and my Dslr to get me through. I live in a college town, with not a lot of people around over winter break cause everyone goes home, i live in a one bedroom apartment, going home for christmas, but the 3 weeks i have off, i am going to sit in my apartment, hibernate in little menomonie wisconson, and work on MYSELF. gym twice a day every other day, excellent eating, and pure weight loss and replenishing my life. realizing i could be THAT dumb and have that many problems in my life i feel i need someone who can treat me like that for years, makes me step back and realize where i am at in my life. and it brings me to my knees frankly. i have SO much going for me right now, and i refuse to let my best friend/xboyfriend bring me down.

Stating now, i WILL loose the weight. I am making that promise to myself. Sorry for the rant, but its good to get it off my chest. I dont have close friends, nobody that itd come close to talking about this with, and my family constantly judges. so MFP is all i got for support right now i suppose.

Replies

  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    talk about having a full plate, Im so so so sorry that you are going thru this. The only thing, at least you see him for what he is before you married him
    I cant imagine your pain , for yourself, stay focused. Dont let him ruin your journey, . Your losing weight for a healthy future., Do it, stay on your journey and realize one day you will meet a wonderful man that you can share your life with.

    Please know I will pray for you and hope you will find truth and love in the future........Lloyd
  • eglass64
    eglass64 Posts: 180
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    Wow, It defintily time to look out for yourself. Good Luck
  • eglass64
    eglass64 Posts: 180
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    Wow, It defintily time to look out for yourself. Good Luck
  • Brady_
    Brady_ Posts: 108 Member
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    thanks lloydirt, we didnt get married, the ring was a "promise for future/after college really expensive" ring, but regardless, thank you. shall be a tough new journey in llife
  • melliebee
    melliebee Posts: 187 Member
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    That sounds far too familiar.... Only the guy that I dated would spit in my face if he was drunk or high (I didn't even know he did drugs until after we broke up).. Oh my goodness you are so much better without... It is easy to get caught in the cycle of abuse when the person you are with gradually picks away at your self esteem . It will take time for you to heal, but I assure you, if you treat yourself right, the way that you KNOW you deserve to be treated, you will become a stronger, healthier, better person....

    Listen to the song "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera while you work out... (cheesy I know, but it helped me SO MUCH) :)
  • Tomhusker
    Tomhusker Posts: 346 Member
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    That DSLR will give plenty of good things to look back on. Time to move on, and good luck doing so. It's his loss, not yours.
  • Dlibo1013
    Dlibo1013 Posts: 883 Member
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    looks like he loses. You got a great life ahead of you kid, stay strong from a fellow Minnesotan, Mendota Heights here
  • JAG995
    JAG995 Posts: 15 Member
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    Proud of you :)
  • sundinsgurl
    sundinsgurl Posts: 1,157 Member
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    First step is realizing that the things you mentioned in your post. This site is great for support. Feel free to add me as a friend.. I am on holidays for a week for sure, possibly. I'd really like to hit it hard for the next 2 weeks. Instead of eating tons and gainings lots over the holidays I'd like to walk away with a loss. It would be super nice to start off the new year with a bang!

    The important part is that you're ready to make that step, one that will better you for sure!!! Welcome to MFP
  • tdixon00
    tdixon00 Posts: 24
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    What a horrible ordeal to have to go through, I can't even imagine. You have definitely made the right decision, and you can get to your goal. I too have a problem with emotional eating, so that part I can understand. This is a great community to join, everyone is really supportive. Good luck! Just know you have the strength to do anything!

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