Can't feel confident

Monna2

Hi
I am 28...been obese since childhood. I am 5'5 and weigh 265...ppl tell me I have a pretty face...I can feel that..but my family are constabtly trying to urge me to lose weight..they are telling me I can't find a partner while being obese.
I am so influenced by media and that only skinny ppl find love and have normal lives. I am trying to change my lifestyle and incorporate exercise into it. Thank God I am a very successful woman and very confident on the outside..ppl like me including men..and few approach me..but I stil find it difficult to stop thinking abt that...sometimes , i tell myself to stop thinking abt love and marriage until i'm slim...i'm even worried that i may be unconsciously sending signals that i'm not available.

Any advice?

besaro

advice for feeling confident? it may sound trite but honestly, your posture can do wonders for giving a boost. Shoulders back, head up. Just like putting a smile on your face can instantly brighten your mood. I am typically not your new-agey type of advice giver but it works for me at times.

as for your family nagging you to lose weight. well, thats on them, not you. If and when you feel you want to lose weight you will.

thoughts on waiting to live your life until you are a certain weight? there is no guarantee there will be another time, so live it the best you can today.

and yes, thank goodness you are successful.

lizzybathory

1. You don't have to be skinny to find love. There's somebody out there for everybody. Confidence matters a lot... some people prefer to meet a skinny partner, but that's not everybody. They sell plenty of plus-sized wedding dresses, you know. It's far from impossible for you to find love just the way you are.
2. If you do want to change, and you think you would be happier & more confident by working on your fitness & nutrition, it's absolutely within reach. Just have to start one step at a time.

IF you are interested in changing (and not just doing it because other people are pressuring you to do so) then don't worry about reaching your goals BEFORE you meet somebody. People will be attracted to you working on yourself. Who knows, you may even meet someone else who hasn't reached their own goals yet, but is working hard on it... and you could bond over that!

Good luck! I hope you figure out what it is YOU want soon, so you can stop worrying about what other people say you need. If you want to change, for yourself, then I fully encourage you to do so. But being skinny isn't a prerequisite to meeting someone special.

Monna2

Thank you, guys