Not drinking and dating

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  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Why would you WANT to get drunk? It certainly isn't fun, and the next day you'll feel like **** and wonder if you did or said anything to make a fool of yourself. Go to art galleries, museums, libraries, amusement parks, hikes in the country, bike rides, beaches, any number of things that are more fun than getting ****faced, and much healthier for you.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    Ive been sober over 10 years... for me, this is a permanent change. I agree with others - don't apologize for your choices. If being around others drinking makes you feel something negative then you do what is best for your life. I can tell from your post that you live in a culture similar to mine that sees drinking as an everyday activity and the basis for entertainment. You cant be the only nondrinking soul within the entire town. Perhaps this could be a positive chance to make a new friend that drinks less often.
  • penny0919
    penny0919 Posts: 123 Member
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    Run away from a man who cares if you are not drinking.



    SERIOUSLY RUN AWAY!!!!!
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    I have a friend who doesn't drink. He doesn't care if I do around him. I don't drink to excess around him. It's all about respect for eachother's decisions.
    If someone cares so deeply about you not drinking that it makes them uncomfortable, they aren't worth your time. And don't have enough respect for you to respect your decision.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    I don't drink.

    I simply either say "I don't drink" or I just say what it is I want to drink "I'll have a club soda thanks".

    If the person asks why (which I think is perfectly reasonable) I just tell the truth, I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't care at all if the other person drinks. Anyone who had a problem with that would be far too insecure for my liking.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    Oh and I've lived all over the world including London. It's not so difficult.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Personally... I would never date a man who thinks that going to bars and getting drunk is "fun".
  • dedflwrs
    dedflwrs Posts: 251 Member
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    If a guy's idea of a date is to get drunk then he's a pathetic loser not worth your time or energy.

    If you can't think of ways to have fun that don't involve drinking then you need serious help.

    It is for me when I'm trying to sell it to others :laugh:
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
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    liannexxx: Right this post my seem a little pathetic. I'm doing a 90 day health challenge and I know that not drinking is going to be the thing I struggle with most.

    Also I hate the idea of going on a date and saying "I'm not drinking" especially living in London where there is such a large pressure.

    Does anyone have any good date ideas? Or any alternatives to just getting drunk???

    Thanks. X x

    My first immersion into the London social scenes and the heavy drinking youth culture was as a 17 year old student at Lucie Clayton, so I do understand the pressures you're highlighting. If you believe that your dates are going to sabotage your 90 days Health Challenge, insist upon choosing the venue. Every reputable establishment has a mocktail menu. Chances are, your dates will not know you're drinking a non-alcoholic beverage if you opt for a mocktail replacement; They'll simply mock you from having deviated from the standard choices, the wines or the beers.

    ^ Option one.

    Your 2nd approach would be to walk up to the bar and order your very own drink, which shouldn't be a problem today, when a good number of the younger British (extended) set prefer to go Dutch. Ask the bartender to mix you a mocktail, serving it in a believable glass. That's a Lucie Clayton tip. Everyone else will be getting sloshed, just NOT you.

    Recommended activities, you may opt for:

    Cordon bleu cooking classes, designed for the health conscious including bargain tips and discount options.
    Hunting and shooting trips
    Take up the challenges; Run a half marathon for example and those military-esque Tough Mudder like challenges.
    The Farmers Markets (Notting Hill or Marylebone); There are private shoppers who provide a service where you may choose an orientation of sorts, customised to your personal lifestyle needs.


    What sorts of men are you dating? Even drinkers need to not drink sometimes. It's easier if it'll just be the 2 of you. It's different if you'll be dating amongst a group, where peer pressure would be likely. Having said that, you are 26. Peer pressure is a non-issue at your stage in life, unless of course you're attempting to conform, subduing you. Living a life of fitness is a life of selfishness; Be 26!
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Right this post my seem a little pathetic. I'm doing a 90 day health challenge and I know that not drinking is going to be the thing I struggle with most.

    Also I hate the idea of going on a date and saying "I'm not drinking" especially living in London where there is such a large pressure.

    Does anyone have any good date ideas? Or any alternatives to just getting drunk???

    Thanks. X x
    What's wrong with the sentence above you explained it to us with -- "I'm doing a 90 day health challenge"? Not that you need an excuse but if you don't want them to wonder if you have substance abuse issues, not that there's anything wrong with that.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    Right this post my seem a little pathetic. I'm doing a 90 day health challenge and I know that not drinking is going to be the thing I struggle with most.

    Also I hate the idea of going on a date and saying "I'm not drinking" especially living in London where there is such a large pressure.

    Does anyone have any good date ideas? Or any alternatives to just getting drunk???

    Thanks. X x

    looks like you'll just have to bang random men while sober for 90 days! :laugh:
    Love it!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    Personally... I would never date a man who thinks that going to bars and getting drunk is "fun".
    See, this is how I feel. I've been with the same guy for over nine years and neither one of us drink. That was one of the "plusses" when we met (amongst many other "plusses that still exist. :heart: :bigsmile:).

    He's a professional musician, so we've been to plenty of pubs together, especially during the St. Patrick's season, but there is never any pressure to drink for either one of us.

    OP, "no thank you" goes a long way when offered something you don't want to eat or drink. If someone gives you a hard time about it, then don't date him again.

    Good luck on your getting healthy challenge. Those are fun to do, and if done in a healthy way can lead to a lifestyle change.
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
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    I just tell people I don't drink. I will on occasion (once or twice a year), but if somebody else has such a big hang-up over what you do or don't do that's their problem. Just find somewhere to go on a date that's not a bar.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    What large pressure?
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    You should never have to explain why you aren't drinking on a date. So you don't order a drink, big deal? Find an activity to do where there isn't an option to order a drink if you feel it will be a problem. A museum or a physical activity maybe? As for any alternatives to getting drunk... enjoy life sober?

    Yeah we have things like top golf / urban golf etc here! I don't mind not drinking I just know that probably the types of people I would like to go on a 1st date with would like a drink ;-)
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    I didn't drink for the best part of a year when I was losing weight.

    IMO if you just explain why you are not drinking then most people are usually on board. If they aren't then they aren't for you.

    Don't compromise on your goals to accommodate other people.

    As for other ideas the zoo is probably my favourite!

    Yeah the zoo is a great shout actually thanks =-)
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    Drugs are a pretty good alternative to drinking and on top of it calories / guilt free!

    I am not sure how you would bring that up on a 1st date hahahaah ;-)
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    Right this post my seem a little pathetic. I'm doing a 90 day health challenge and I know that not drinking is going to be the thing I struggle with most.

    Also I hate the idea of going on a date and saying "I'm not drinking" especially living in London where there is such a large pressure.

    Does anyone have any good date ideas? Or any alternatives to just getting drunk???

    Thanks. X x

    looks like you'll just have to bang random men while sober for 90 days! :laugh:


    Hahahaahahaha or they might have to wait 90 days?
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    Remember: You live in London - anything goes!

    (I'm writing this from the point of view of having lived in London for ten years or so during my twenties/thirties and also from the point of never having had drinks when going out because I just never liked the taste of alcohol).

    If you don't make an issue out of it, there is a good chance nobody else will.

    When ordering a drink just say "Mine's a diet coke/coke/orange juice/fruit cocktail/hot chocolate" - don't give an explanation, don't apologise. That's what you want if somebody has a problem with it or finds it odd then they have to bring it up which chances are they might not.

    Also - do you really want to date somebody who is trying to pressurise you into drinking or makes you feel awkward for not drinking?

    In terms of doing things which aren't centred too much around social drinking for a date maybe the following might work for you:

    * Going ice skating in Alexandra Palace
    * Take a walk around Primrose Hill/Regents Park/Hampstead Heath and bring a picnic basket
    * Go for a film & then go for sushi
    * Take a salsa/merengue/lambada class (Bar Salsa on Charing Cross is pretty good for that) and then just do a lot of dancing for the rest of the night
    * Do a "Learn of Snowboard/Ski" in a day class at the Snowdome in Hemel Hempstead (about half an hour on the train from Euston Station and then maybe a fiver or so for a taxi unless you fancy a half hour walk) (or any other course really - freestyle, bumps training, focused improvers/coaching classes - InsideOut Skiing is pretty good).
    *Go to the theatre or musical
    *Go for coffee dates in the afternoon

    Most of all just chillax, enjoy yourself and have fun!


    This was amazing thank you! It actually gave me start thinking outside the box as well so thanks =-) x
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    If they pressure you to drink, then you have a built in litmus test for whether they are a good fit or not.
    You don't need to offer any explanation.
    You live in London , so here are my date ideas:
    1 Go to the Dr Who Museum.
    2. Go to the theater when David Tennant is performing anything Shakespere
    3. Go on the Dr Who tardis ride
    4. Go on the Dr Who tour where you can see where the episodes were filmed.

    Oh, sorry, that would be if you were dating ME. :/

    What about if they dont like Dr Who?

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