Self sabotage.

jbpretty

I saw a psychologist today and she agrees about my lack of believing I am worth it or that I deserve it. People have commented on my being an inspiration. That's hard to hear when really I feel like I'm failing all of the time. I think it's correct too when you said some people will have to try harder and others won't. I excel easily in school but this is much harder for me. This is tough.

I know my self esteem is in the the toilet. I guess I need to work on that.

fitmek

I feel like I do this so much. I never quite get to the "best me". I lose, and then I have a week of "who cares, I can have an extra cookie, I'll start fresh tomorrow." Then that week leads to gain--obviously. Not much, maybe just a pound. But I feel like that one pound gained throws me into the danger zone. I even tell my friends whats coming because it's happened so much. It's always when I get within 5 pounds of goal weight.

I don't consider myself to be a lazy person, so I have no idea what my deal is. Other than I just don't get it.

And what do you consider a binge? I've always wondered that. Is a binge 200 calories over your daily allowance, or 2000? From what I have learned from friends who have suffered with eating disorders, it seems when they say binge, it means an entire pizza or box of donuts...or both.

I feel your frustration--when you want it badly and it's constantly on your mind, and you KNOW what to do, but don't do it could be the most infuriating thing on earth!

alanabanana86

I feel a little like a fraud when I lose weight- I think it's a similar thing, I don't feel like I deserve it, DESPITE the fact that i'm the one monitoring my food and that I'm the one working out more and paying attention. Crazy huh?

Well, I hope this thread at least let's you know that you're not alone and that you don't have to feel guilty and hide this. It's just one small blip in your amazing journey! Everyone has blips! The best thing that you could you is forgive yourself, shake your head and move onto the right path again.

I know that you can do this you've already come so far. You are NOT the person that you used to be. You are in control of your body and you are choosing to head in the right direction and make good choices. Believe in yourself and love yourself.

jbpretty

A binge for me can be 1000s of calories. With that comes incredible guilt.

I think you're right, I'm not the same person I was when I started this journey. I don't have to go back to where I was. In fact in all honesty, I'm actually terrified of that. I hear and read all the statistics of how many people actually keep the weight off and it's not very encouraging. I want to be different. I really want my success to continue even if/when that means maintaining. I am the one that controls this and when I binge, I feel out of control. I need to build some confidence and quit thinking my failing is inevitable.

Sadly, it does make me feel a little better to know I'm not alone in this.

cdoesthehula

Right or wrong, the way I look at my weight is that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what size I am. I am insignificant, just like everyone else. The rest of the world will go on without me.

It's very important to me, of course. We're trying for a family, and I don't want to be buried when my children are young. Also I don't want to be fat to the point where I can't walk properly. But I don't care what other people think, because I know they are all too busy thinking they're putting on too much weight, or that they are forever going to be lonely, or they can't afford their mortgage - all the things that adults think about all the time.

The reasons you want to lose weight have to be something that's about you personally. If you're doing it because you think it will make you look better to other people, I'd guess you would find it hard to keep the weight off. Is that the reason people fail at weight loss? Or do they get to a goal weight, and decide it's not worth the effort and go back to how they were before?

Whatever, I fail to see how people telling you that you don't believe in yourself is useful to anyone. If they helped you find ways to feel better about yourself that's different, but just the information on its own is a bit pointless.

Instead, might I suggest that just for a day you take a step back from it all? Imagine your friend came to you and said what you said to us. What advice would you give them?

fluffyasacat

A binge for me can be 1000s of calories. With that comes incredible guilt.

I think you're right, I'm not the same person I was when I started this journey. I don't have to go back to where I was. In fact in all honesty, I'm actually terrified of that. I hear and read all the statistics of how many people actually keep the weight off and it's not very encouraging. I want to be different. I really want my success to continue even if/when that means maintaining. I am the one that controls this and when I binge, I feel out of control. I need to build some confidence and quit thinking my failing is inevitable.

Sadly, it does make me feel a little better to know I'm not alone in this.

What's your strategy for keeping the weight off? Or for dealing with low days where you just feel sad and crappy and angry? Those days happen to everyone and you can't eat your way out of them - that just generates more low days.

If your strategy for keeping the weight off is just to do more of the same as what allowed you to lose 100lbs in the first place, consider that your motivation to GET to that milestone is probably what kept you going. You need to congratulate yourself and make a new plan now, one which is just as compelling as the 100lb milestone. When I have nothing to plan ahead for I get demotivated pretty fast, maybe you're the same?

jbpretty

Instead, might I suggest that just for a day you take a step back from it all? Imagine your friend came to you and said what you said to us. What advice would you give them?

This is a good question. I think I would tell them not to give up. You've come this far and (as others have said) everyone has setbacks. I am a perfectionist, but no one is perfect.

Someone told me "nothing has been done that can't be undone" and I think I need to remind myself of that.

Yes! I have now set new goals and I think that'll help because otherwise, where am I going and why? Which brings me to another comment, what am I doing this for? Really, I wanted to feel better but mostly I wanted to look better. As part of my new goals, I'm setting a fitness goal.

I really have no ideas for dealing with low days.

sino19

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