In need of some advice.

phinn748

Wow. It seems late to be posting anything on an internet forum but at least it's happening. I'm not sure how to even begin with this. Maybe with a little background or a plea for help. I don't really know, and that's a problem.

I'm obese. Over the last few years stress and reasons have gotten to me. I could list out all of the stresses and reasons why I've gotten here but they would all be excuses, and we all have those. But my doctor has sat me down and told me that I will have a heartattack soon if I don't get it together.

I'm not the type to ask for help, but losing weight just seems so impossible, and eating seems too easy. My doctor has cleared me for exercise. I have a Bootcamp subscription, and need help staying motivated.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my children will lose their mother. I'm afraid that I'm holding my husband back. I'm afraid of my own shadow at this point.

How do you do this? How do I not fail this time?

melaniecheeks

Take it one day at a time. Log your food. Drink plenty of water. Enjoy your exercise.

TavistockToad

Make it a priority...

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your resume sweetie, because it's not a priority" "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, then that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently"

DarkMoon30

Wow. It seems late to be posting anything on an internet forum but at least it's happening. I'm not sure how to even begin with this. Maybe with a little background or a plea for help. I don't really know, and that's a problem.

I'm obese. Over the last few years stress and reasons have gotten to me. I could list out all of the stresses and reasons why I've gotten here but they would all be excuses, and we all have those. But my doctor has sat me down and told me that I will have a heartattack soon if I don't get it together.

I'm not the type to ask for help, but losing weight just seems so impossible, and eating seems too easy. My doctor has cleared me for exercise. I have a Bootcamp subscription, and need help staying motivated.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my children will lose their mother. I'm afraid that I'm holding my husband back. I'm afraid of my own shadow at this point.

How do you do this? How do I not fail this time?

First you stop thinking you're gonna fail and you stop over thinking this

You know what you've got to do so get on with getting it done. Don't look to the past and don't look too far into the future. Just do what you've got to do... one day at a time.

You can do it. If you want to. Sounds like you've got good reasons to so hold on to those and make them your motivation

JenniDaisy

One thing I've found really motivational is to log everything everyday, even if it's not such a good day, because then you can keep your streak going and maybe you can balance it out later in the week with extra activity.

earthakin

You can only make good decisions in the moment, make all of those decisions count. When I eat I tell myself that I will really get serious tomorrow or next week or some other time, and in the meantime I am going to do what I "want". In reality every one of those bites counts toward my overall health. Read the success stories on this site. Find friends on this site who will support you (friend me if you like). Log every bite that you take. Most importantly, know that you can do it.

Kat

Palamedes

I think you need to start with the obvious. You took a while to get in this shape. Take a while to get back out. Most of us here can tell you that fast weight loss tends to be temporary weight loss. Set a realistic goal and work your way there at a steady pace.

The most important advice I can give you is LOG EVERYTHING. You need to log everything you eat. You need to log everything you drink. You need to log exercise.

Be careful with exercise. Going from zero to one hundred fast is a good way of hurting yourself. Listen to your body.

Finally, come back to MPF often. Come back here for advice. Come back for motivation. Come back to learn some new idea that might make your journey smoother.

Good Luck.

Snip8241

You reached out for help...that's a huge step.

Now log your food...everything, everyday. Get a food scale and weigh and measure everything.

Next open the door and go for a walk. Not a huge walk, just a walk.

Boot camp is a choice, you made it. Be proud.

Just do it, today. Those today's add up.

Send me a friend request with a message. I have a group of wonderful supportive friends. You are welcome in it. :flowerforyou:

Silentfool

exercise can ne anything ????? but make it fun.... if you enjoy the exercise you will stick to it.

Even walking is a good start.

as everyone says log everything...... use message boards. when you log you have a clear picture of your efforts and when you are using message noards your mind is else where.

I am glad you want to do this.

You can do this.

lillyrose2020

You're in the right place, you're ready to make changes, you are ready for this and you can do this!
I've started and stopped so many times, I have failed so many times. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Fear of failure can rule your life, I am trying to learn to stop it ruling mine.
Even if I have a bad day or a bad weekend and eat the wrong food or too much of it, I am still logging it because that is being honest with ourselves and not hiding away.
Please add me if you would like a supporter

phinn748

The replies brought me to tears. I'm ready and feel like even if I stumble, it's ok. You are all right; it took years to get here. It'll take time to get back, and that's ok.

I have no idea how to add someone as a friend but I'll learn and add anyone who has any more advice.

Thank you all.

Snip8241

I will send you a request, you will see a little red one at the top of your page just above community. Just tap that, you will see my message and you can accept. Then we will be connected.

brenn24179

you have to believe you can live a different way and do it. Take care of yourself. Like other have said, log every thing. Eat lots of filling foods especially protein. Peanut butter, chicken,turkey,fish,cottage cheese, yogurt. You can do this.

MinnieInMaine

Talk to you husband and your children about it. Don't make it about weight - that'll be a side effect - but make it about health. You're going to need their help and support as well to get through this. They don't have to change everthing but some compromises will need to be made so you might as well be up front about why. You can start taking walks or bike rides or hikes together. As someone else said, whatever is fun for you, just make family time an active time as much as possible. And learn to cook together and choose healthier foods together as well. It's a skill they'll need as they grow anyway.

The key as far as I'm concerned is consistency. Even if you have a bad eating day, log it anyway. Trust me, it's easy to deny those little bites and treats if you don't log them and then you wonder why it's not working when you know perfectly well why. The only person you're really lying to is yourself. Planning and meal prep can help a lot too. Take any down time you can find to chop up veggies, precook meats, etc so that meals later in the week when it's hectic will be easier to throw together.

And yes, you're right - it's tough love but those really are all excuses. You can do it and now you have a VERY good reason why.

Best of luck!

Palamedes

I agree that your husband and children can be a great help. On the weekend, my wife goes on bike rides with me. We even plan activities where I can get some walking in while she does some shopping. There are little things that your husband and children can help. I like parking farther away from the front door of some place I'm visiting so I can walk more. My wife encourages such behaviour.

knitapeace

This may not be a very popular suggestion, but some people have difficulty jumping in to a new lifestyle all at once...it's overwhelming and you already sound a little overwhelmed with the "big picture". If you already signed up for boot camp I would recommend you do that and not try to incorporate any other changes for a week or two. For me, baby steps work better than trying to do everything all at once. Next step might be just logging everything you eat without trying to regulate it, just to see what you've been eating up until now and where you can make changes. Then start trying to eat in a deficit.

Being successful at one thing before adding in a new change can make you feel more powerful and motivated. Just something to consider.

Oh and you can totally do this. Totally.

harribeau2012

Make it a priority...

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your resume sweetie, because it's not a priority" "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, then that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently"

I quite like this. One choice at a time, choose to stock the fridge with what fresh produce you can afford, choose to walk etc, choose to love yourself and want you to be around for your family. Choose to act in advancement of your well being.

It IS difficult sometimes, you say it's easy to eat - BY JOVE YOU'RE RIGHT very very easy to eat, I said to my Sis-in -law that alcoholics "JUST" (hahahahaha) have to stop having alcohol...they don't have to stop having all liquid. I have to stop having an unhealthy relationship with food, I can't not eat at all....well she called me on it, told me to stop making excuses, she was right, I don't have to stop eating food I "JUST" have to stop eatingjunk, processed food with too much sugar and fat, things that I cannot have just a little bit of.
I have had some really great weeks followed by a really crappy week (my Dad broke his hip) where stress eating, emotional eating have been to the fore and the result is that I'm feeling low and like a failure.....your post has just helped me

You putting out there that you need some help has helped me. It's made me stop and think, made me talk not only to you but to myself.

one choice at a time. Thank you :flowerforyou:

SXMEnrico

How do you do this? How do I not fail this time?

log everything. log every day. The minute you stop logging is the minute you start to fail.

Being fit is ALL about making conscious decisions about what you eat.

If you don't log, your denial will take over and you WILL fail.

dlr165

I took a good hard look at how I had failed over and over again. There was a pattern. I got overwhelmed with so many things that were foreign to me. Food I wasn't use to eating, working out when I was use to very little physical activity and counting, weighing and measuring when I just eyeballed everything. So, I started with one thing and got use to it before I piled on something else. If I am overwhelmed, I just quit. Also, I had to look at the new changes as my new lifestyle not just a short term fix. Reading the forums help because there are a lot of people who have been doing this for a long time. It's not a 6 week venture. Seeing other people hang in there and accomplish great things motivate me. So, I ask myself, why can't I do this for a year and see what happens? Things have to get better. That outlook really helps with the weeks that don't go so great. Hang in there! Read everything you can and find what works for you and just keep doing it!

BeingHealthyMe

Think before you eat....be conscious....try to do small physical activities at home daily....follow 10min workouts....I follow the workout in this link http://weddingfreak.net/wedding-plan/workout-videos-lose-weight-before-wedding/.....They are easy..just keep doing

bcovely

Take it one day at a time. If you falter, don't "throw the towel in". Pick yourself up and start again - don't give up. This is my new saying, may-be it will help you "I'm not losing weight. I'm getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again." Good luck.....and reamember - you can do it!!

newdaydawning79

Make it a priority...

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your resume sweetie, because it's not a priority" "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, then that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently"

I have never thought of it this way before and now I'm going to start. I'm not the OP but I'm saying a huge thank you for this! :flowerforyou:

Phrick

Make it a priority...

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your resume sweetie, because it's not a priority" "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, then that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently"

I love this so much that I put it on my Facebook page. It's a great reminder for every aspect of life, not only health or fitness - marriage, kids, school/study, on and on. I'm so glad you posted it, Tavistock Toad

tnjrichter

YOU GOT THIS!!! The want to change is the first step! Do not look at the BIG picture, rather break it down to small pictures and focus on one goal a day. You goal can be simple as 1 less soda a day, 10 wall push-up a day for a week, walk for 30 minutes a day for a week or better choices of what foods to eat.
When I started my journey I was 60 pounds heavier than I am now and I was waiting to die. Until I decided I was not going to be a victim anymore to the stresses and MANY reasons to my health problems including being obese. At first I could not walk across my house without being winded...I now walk jog up to 6 miles a day. Recently, I have had a few setbacks but they are not going to keep me down...I am a survivor and not going to accept defeat.

Support is a HUGE ingredient in a healthy lifestyle. Set up your support system...I have found a lot of support here at MFP and also in my surrounding community from my family and friends.

ew_david

Have realistic expectations. Understand that it's going to take time. Take it slow, start small. Log your food. Those who fail often try to change everything at once, become overwhelmed, and quit.

hbrittingham

How do you do this? How do I not fail this time?

log everything. log every day. The minute you stop logging is the minute you start to fail.

Being fit is ALL about making conscious decisions about what you eat.

If you don't log, your denial will take over and you WILL fail.

This is great advice!

Also, don't try to cut back too much to start. Set up your profile to lose 1/2-1 lb per week initially so it's not too much of a shock and so you aren't starving all the time. I would suggest pre-logging your food for the day at the beginning and then just looking at your diary and eating what you've already logged. Don't get too ambitious at the beginning or you may set yourself up to fail. A lot of people come here and start at 1000-1200 calories a day after eating 3000+ calories a day for years, then they are starving and end up binging before the first week is over. Moderation, not starvation.

Once you have the eating habits down, then add in some sort of exercise. What do you like to do? Walk? Ride a bike? Find something you enjoy so you are sure to stick to it.

You can do this!

wkwebby

In addition to logging the food, take a hard look at WHAT foods you have going into your body. The exercise is great, but starting out slowly with that until you get some muscles built will have very little impact on your results. The food is the easiest thing to change and see almost immediate results. Eat plenty of vitamin and nutrient dense foods and you'll find that you'll be fuller a lot faster and for longer.

If you have any additional health issues (pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.), you should enlist the help (or do additional research at the least) on what you should be further limiting or eliminating from your diet to be healthier.

For example, I'm pre-pre-diabetic so I'm trying to limit my carbs and sugars daily. Since I'm not in the pre-diabetic stage yet and starting early, I don't beat myself up too much if one day goes over my sugar/carb allotments. Now I'm going to start working on my sodium a little because I'm seeing the water retention fluctuation come into play a little on a day to day/week to week basis (like 3-6 lbs up or down).

Changing up what and how much you eat will result in a nice and steady weight loss while exercising will build the muscles underneath to show off when you've shed some of that unwanted weight and fat (it also allows you to eat more if you're a foodie like me). Good luck in this journey! :flowerforyou:

Aaagrant

Instead of telling yourself that eating is easy, tell yourself that losing weight is easy. I have had days in the past where I felt really frustrated but then I would take a deep breath and tell myself that losing weight is just numbers, that's it. Just make sure to keep logging all your food and exercise, and make sure you keep yourself in a caloric deficit, and, although it may be slower than you would like at times, you will see the pounds come off. Just keep at it, you can do this!

jrline

Drink lots of water and start by walking as far as you can in a half hour and improve from there. A body in motion tends to stay in motion a body at rest tends to stay at rest so get moving. Track what you are eating myfitnesspal is great for tracking.