Jealous

yopeeps025

He been with you 9 years. I sure he does notice your yo yo weights. Plus a 5 pound fat loss for example is very noticeable on people usually. Also not everyone needs to count calories to get to there weight goal.

Most people do not notice a 5 lb. weight loss. JMO

5 pound weight loss is different from 5 pound fat loss.

rose1617

He been with you 9 years. I sure he does notice your yo yo weights. Plus a 5 pound fat loss for example is very noticeable on people usually. Also not everyone needs to count calories to get to there weight goal.

WUT?

Basically people notice when people lose weight and gain weight?

5 pounds is not substantial enough for people to notice. I can swing 5 pounds in a week and no one would know the difference.

I'm with you there. Took almost 20 lbs for people to start really noticing.

PRMinx

He been with you 9 years. I sure he does notice your yo yo weights. Plus a 5 pound fat loss for example is very noticeable on people usually. Also not everyone needs to count calories to get to there weight goal.

Most people do not notice a 5 lb. weight loss. JMO

5 pound weight loss is different from 5 pound fat loss.

And it's nearly impossible to tell the difference between fat and water weight when you are dealing with such a low number. Even if you could split that hair, most people still wouldn't see it. It's not a lot of weight.

ETA: That's not to say losing 5 pounds isn't progress, because it is. :drinker:

yopeeps025

He been with you 9 years. I sure he does notice your yo yo weights. Plus a 5 pound fat loss for example is very noticeable on people usually. Also not everyone needs to count calories to get to there weight goal.

WUT?

Basically people notice when people lose weight and gain weight?

5 pounds is not substantial enough for people to notice. I can swing 5 pounds in a week and no one would know the difference.

I'm with you there. Took almost 20 lbs for people to start really noticing.

Just because people don't say it does not mean they never observed your weight loss.

yopeeps025

It sound like most people are using the fact that someone said "hey you loss weight how much?" If we use that example then people have been saying that to me since I was losing no weight at all.

JoRocka

I'd suggest being supportive and happy for him about his progress, but also making sure he knows how you feel about it. Maybe you feel like he's rubbing it in when he keeps on talking about his success? You can be a little resentful of his attitude towards it and still be happy for his success. Maybe he could be a little more sensitive towards how challenging you've found it, when he's talking about his success.

I get the same way with run training and my husband. We both train for the same 10k every year, on more or less the same schedule, but he usually gets to a comfortable point where the runs are easy on him much sooner than I do. There are always several weeks where he says things like "Those 5 miles flew by! I'm feeling so great! I think I'll go for 6 miles next time!" when I come through the door sweating buckets and wanting to die after three miles. I'm so happy for him that his training is having such good results, but it makes me feel bad about my own progress when he goes on and on about it. If he just lays off the go-me-rah-rah talk a little bit, I find it much easier to handle our differences. I just think it's a sh!tty topic of conversation when he's doing so much better than I am.

Yes its this exactly. Thank you for finding the words I couldn't, or maybe felt too guilty admitting to. How does your husband take it when you talk to him about laying off the rah-rah stuff?

I'll let you know when I get to that, haha. I feel like such a downer telling him (nicely) to shut up about it that I just do my best to avoid it and change the topic. I should probably try being a big girl about it pretty soon, huh.

Just curious...has anyone ever tried replying to a braggart husband with "Oh yeah , well I got these!" *boobflash*

Cause I've been tempted once or twice.

My BF and i got into a fight b/c he's a grown man who won't eat veggies- like GTF over yourself and just eat them. Anyway it got so bad I stood up and ripped my shirt off and yelled
YOU GET ALL THIS!!!! ALL THIS I WORK FOR BUST MY *kitten* FOR THAT YOU GET TO ENJOY- AND YOU DON"T CARE ABOUT WHAT I THINK OR ALL THE HARD WORK I DO_ AND YOU DON"T CARE WHAT I THINK ABOUT YOU. AND YOU DO NOTHING

<yes- I did this>

oh it gets better.

The pants.

I dropped trow.

turned around and yelled- THIS_ THIS COMES FROM HARD WORK. AND YOU DON"T CARE- AND YOU DON"T CARE THAT I CARE AT ALL. YOU DON"T CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND WHAT I THINK EVER. IT"S LIKE I DO ALL THIS WORK AND YOU GET TO APPRECIATE IT AND YOU DO NOTHING AND YOU JUST DON"T GIVE A *kitten*.


not one of my finer moments standing naked in my kitchen yelling at my BF
.:ohwell:

It's a sort of laughable subject now. (sort of because the feelings and emotions are still there and I still feel that way)

But it makes me crazy- he gets whatI think it's a pretty hot body to go to bed with at night- and I get... meh. And he doesn't care that he's meh. I love him- but his body is ridiculous FOR NO FKING REASON other than pure lazy (also- makes me crazy).

Anyway- OP you're in a good head space- you're moving in the right direction. You're tracking- your working out. You have less to lose than he does- so it's harder to lose it. I know it's cliche- but you've talked yourself into a good space on how to react and move forward- so keep doing what you're doing.

I think it's pretty awesome of you actually to be adult enough to come full circle and realize what's going on. I think that's really REALLY awesome.

PRMinx

It sound like most people are using the fact that someone said "hey you loss weight how much?" If we use that example then people have been saying that to me since I was losing no weight at all.

No, that's not the example I'm using.

I maintain anywhere between 130 and 140 pounds. 136 tends to be my sweet spot. Right now, I'm at 140. The only difference I feel in my body is that I'm bloated. I think I'm probably at 138, with a 2 pound water weight gain leftover from the weekend, but that's besides the point because it's nearly impossible to tell until I flush it out. Even though I feel it because we can all feel bloating, I can't see it. And I know my body. So, no, someone else definitely can't see it. Spread out over my 5'4 body, it would be nearly impossible to see it.

JoRocka

It sound like most people are using the fact that someone said "hey you loss weight how much?" If we use that example then people have been saying that to me since I was losing no weight at all.

No, that's not the example I'm using.

I maintain anywhere between 130 and 140 pounds. 136 tends to be my sweet spot. Right now, I'm at 140. The only difference I feel in my body is that I'm bloated. I think I'm probably at 138, with a 2 pound water weight gain leftover from the weekend, but that's besides the point because it's nearly impossible to tell until I flush it out. Even though I feel it because we can all feel bloating, I can't see it. And I know my body. So, no, someone else definitely can't see it. Spread out over my 5'4 body, it would be nearly impossible to see it.

You have to be fairly tiny to notice a real 5 pound gain or loss.

Because Paige is correct- most people flux regularly at least 5 pounds. Hell my coworker and I will joke and go- "I'm off to lose 5 pounds" Or he'll disappear and come back stretch and go "damn feels good- just lost another 5 pounds"

PRMinx

It sound like most people are using the fact that someone said "hey you loss weight how much?" If we use that example then people have been saying that to me since I was losing no weight at all.

No, that's not the example I'm using.

I maintain anywhere between 130 and 140 pounds. 136 tends to be my sweet spot. Right now, I'm at 140. The only difference I feel in my body is that I'm bloated. I think I'm probably at 138, with a 2 pound water weight gain leftover from the weekend, but that's besides the point because it's nearly impossible to tell until I flush it out. Even though I feel it because we can all feel bloating, I can't see it. And I know my body. So, no, someone else definitely can't see it. Spread out over my 5'4 body, it would be nearly impossible to see it.

You have to be fairly tiny to notice a real 5 pound gain or loss.

Because Paige is correct- most people flux regularly at least 5 pounds. Hell my coworker and I will joke and go- "I'm off to lose 5 pounds" Or he'll disappear and come back stretch and go "damn feels good- just lost another 5 pounds"

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish

Well, maybe you should re-consider how you look at this, because its very off. 2hrs of rock climbing 3x a week is far far from a tiny change. Now you are doing 3hrs/week of activity by your report, but unless you are swimming hard for 20 mins and pushing a lot of weight, you are comparing 3hrs of lower intensity exercise to 6 hrs of intense aerobic activity/week...that's your problem! He is not only doing TWICE the time you are, but the intensity is higher (I'm pretty certain you aren't lifting hundreds of pounds, and he's lifting his entire body weight rock climbing).

So don't feel discouraged or jealous, its a given fact he's burning a ton more than you. His weight loss is going to be much faster than yours unless he increases his eating. In fact, if someone were to take a wild guess and assume eating is logged and restricted, it should be at least FOUR times as fast as yours. Now you say his is 3x as fast as yours, so you are probably right, he's bad with the food logging and his eating increased.

Either increase your exercise, or realize you can't expect to keep up with someone doing twice the effort and spending twice the time on something, burning probably 4x the calories...

socalkay

It's not a contest and it's not supportive to begrudge your boyfriend his successes. I'm glad you realize this is all on you but are you going to work on changing this kind of stinking thinking or try to make him change to support your low self-esteem?

Instead of focusing on your own misery, try focusing on and supporting his joy (rah, rah).

justlistening

I get how you feel. Guys have different hormones and their bodies work slightly differently than women's bodies. My hubs can think about losing 5 lbs and 2 days later he has. Just be happy for him and you be happy for you.

OP kudos to you for working out, eating healthier, and being honest about how you feel.

@JoRocka- love your story!! lol
@SoLongandThan- The time for rock climbing is probably the time spent at the gym -- not on the wall. No way you can hang on to a wall for 2 hours. At least half of the time if not more is spent belaying someone else (holding ropes for them). Rock climbing is not lifting your entire body the entire time, not if you are doing it correctly. I have done both rock climbing and lifting and both can be quite comparable.

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish

I get how you feel. Guys have different hormones and their bodies work slightly differently than women's bodies. My hubs can think about losing 5 lbs and 2 days later he has. Just be happy for him and you be happy for you.

OP kudos to you for working out, eating healthier, and being honest about how you feel.

@JoRocka- love your story!! lol
@SoLongandThan- The time for rock climbing is probably the time spent at the gym -- not on the wall. No way you can hang on to a wall for 2 hours. At least half of the time if not more is spent belaying someone else (holding ropes for them). Rock climbing is not lifting your entire body the entire time, not if you are doing it correctly. I have done both rock climbing and lifting and both can be quite comparable.

Not only does one spend more than half the time "lifting" sitting/standing around or moving to the next station, but even if he has 1/4th time actually on the wall, he's doing 30mins of lifting 180lbs++ (bodyweight), she's doing (guesstimate) 20lb OHP for 1.5mins (probable actual time in motion) here, 80lb pulldowns for 1.5mins there, 40lb curl for 1.5mins, 120lb leg press for 1.5mins...you get the picture... 4x the calories is probably a huge under estimate unless its leg day. Weightlifting just doesn't burn many calories, that's not its purpose. She may make up some calories swimming if she swims laps intensely though. But its just not in the same ballpark, the caloric burn is much lower and half the time is spent = don't begrudge that person winning in the calorie burning "game".

Or maybe, don't view it as a competition or a game, since it isn't. And enjoy your partner getting healthy and losing weight.

NRBreit

I really boils down to simple math. Your boyfriend's TDEE is probably around 2,700 cals. Yours might be 1,800 and if you are eating 1,400 cals, you're gonna lose 1/2 pound per week. Your boyfriend could eat 1,900 and still lose twice as much as you in the same timeframe. Don't worry about how long it takes, just keep doing what you're doing.

Josalinn

How large was your b/f? Just wondering if him having a lot to lose made his results much higher.

He was close to 200, and most of that was on his belly, or so he says. I've personally noticed more of change in his legs...omg fabulous! And l him that.:blushing: I didn't really think he was all that big before he lost the weight. He has his goal of getting his 6 pack back (that he had in high school, thanks to swim team) which I would love to see but in all the time we have been dating he has never had one, and I find him sexy as hell.

QUOTE:

I get how you feel. Guys have different hormones and their bodies work slightly differently than women's bodies. My hubs can think about losing 5 lbs and 2 days later he has. Just be happy for him and you be happy for you.

OP kudos to you for working out, eating healthier, and being honest about how you feel.

@JoRocka- love your story!! lol
@SoLongandThan- The time for rock climbing is probably the time spent at the gym -- not on the wall. No way you can hang on to a wall for 2 hours. At least half of the time if not more is spent belaying someone else (holding ropes for them). Rock climbing is not lifting your entire body the entire time, not if you are doing it correctly. I have done both rock climbing and lifting and both can be quite comparable.


Not only does one spend more than half the time "lifting" sitting/standing around or moving to the next station, but even if he has 1/4th time actually on the wall, he's doing 30mins of lifting 180lbs++ (bodyweight), she's doing (guesstimate) 20lb OHP for 1.5mins (probable actual time in motion) here, 80lb pulldowns for 1.5mins there, 40lb curl for 1.5mins, 120lb leg press for 1.5mins...you get the picture... 4x the calories is probably a huge under estimate unless its leg day. Weightlifting just doesn't burn many calories, that's not its purpose. She may make up some calories swimming if she swims laps intensely though. But its just not in the same ballpark, the caloric burn is much lower and half the time is spent = don't begrudge that person winning in the calorie burning "game".

Um I lift a bit more than that. I do about 8 exercises and 3 sets of each. Each set takes me about a minute because I make sure to control the weight through the whole move and then I rest for 30 to 45 seconds. If I were magically able to teleport between machines and have them all set to my needs (which would be so cool!) this takes about 30-35 mins and then 5 or so mins for set up.


I realize that The Wall is really completely different than weight lifting, and that I spend less over all time in the gym, however, I do try to use the time there as efficiently as possible.

ETD: I took out the program I follow, it made the post really long. I log my exercise on another site because frankly it's easier than MFP's exercise section.

yopeeps025

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