Feeling anxious

Hello everyone :)

I've been trying to lose weight now (on and off) since 2004. I get down 30 lbs and it goes right back up... I'm sure many of you are on the same path...

In any case... one of my best friends had the gastric sleeve a year ago and has lost ALL of her weight plus some. I'm in awe and am battling with whether or not to have it done myself... I really, with everything inside of me, don't want to... I'm petrified! I want to work it off, build some muscle and get fit... More than anything I really just want to run again... run and be able to cross my legs comfortably...

I stopped smoking cold turkey 3 months ago; that was my first big step. I bought a Fitbit two weeks ago and LOVE it. I've been walking every day (if not outside, then on my treadmill)... and I've been stalking my every calorie with myfitnesspal. I have lost 6 lbs in the past 2 weeks.

Today I bought a jump rope. I want to be active. I want to be free! Most importantly, I want to be healthy for my kids. I thought I could do this all alone, but today it's rough. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but it looks like such a longg road ahead. I find myself on the scale every morning analyzing the number wondering what I could have done differently the day before for a better number. I'm feeling anxious and like I'm going to lose again...

I don't have any friends that understand what I'm going through, except for the one who lost all her weight and sometimes I feel like even she doesn't understand anymore... Keep me in your thoughts. :)

-Chrissie

Replies

  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    Make the focus your health and well-being and stop thinking so much about the number on the scale. I have to limit myself to weighing only on paydays (every other week) so that 1) I'm not on and off the scale every hour and 2) if I haven't hit good numbers I can still cheer up by checking my bank account :)

    If you need numbers to obsess about, try getting specific with your macros (sodium, fat, protein etc), that can offer you another path to 'success' that doesn't involve cutting your calories too much or beating yourself up for not being perfect (it's impossible to have perfect macros as far as I can tell).

    A lot of people here can definitely identify with you, you're not alone!! Think of it this way: you could lose a ton of weight overnight by cutting off your leg. Is it worth it? Nope! So neither is malnutrition or self-damage of any kind. Physical and emotional health are equally important.
  • princesskjr
    princesskjr Posts: 16 Member
    Hi,

    Like you I want to lose weight to be healthy for my daughter,

    I exercise everyday either walking or on the treadmill and I have lost 48lb since May, I weigh once a month as I dont want to be on the scales all of the time I find a monthly weigh in to work for me.

    I wouldnt like to have a band/sleeve put in my body it would scare me to death I definitely think eating healthy and exercise is the way forward!!

    Good luck with your journey

    Katie :smile:
  • Hi ...thanks for having the courage to share how you are really feeling ! Trust me , i get it, and you are certainly not alone . I too have struggled for many years with the ups and the downs of weight loss and felt so alone . the truth is that most people have their own issues with how they fell about themselves , even the ones who you probably think have beautiful bodies ..they just might not have the courage to share really what they are feeling .

    I think you are doing amazing in such a short period of time you …cold turkeyed smoking cigs..( that in itself is incredible ) you bought a fit bit and are walking every day and you are consciously pay attention to your calorie intake and have lost over 6 pounds. in the past two weeks..( incredible) How does that feel and how do you feel? Thats what you should pay attention to ..acknowledge yourself, look at how far you have come in such a short time. looking at the number on the scale and analyzing what if will only make you feel like you feel..anxious… be grateful for what you have done so far .Acknowledge yourself and say nice and encouraging words to yourself..as if you were speaking to a good friend or even your own child The more you are grateful and appreciate and acknowledge your success's ( yes Chrissy you did this ) the less anxious you will feel . Be mindful of your negative self talk ( your inner critic ) thats what makes you feel anxious…that voice is your worst enemy . Did you ever hear anyone say or read this ..Your thoughts create your world ..so be careful what you are telling yourself.

    I know how that works because i was my own worst critic and never really knew it until i started to slow down , and become more aware of what I was telling myself. We all are so much more critical of ourselves and spend to much time and energy on the negative …. what we should do. what we did wrong, ..way more time then being positive and acknowledging our successes .it human nature..but it does not serve any of us…it only gets the way and makes us feel worse. See if you can be open to what i am saying .

    Journaling is a great way to get what you are telling yourself out an into the open ..Get it out and then you can write what you know that has been successful for you ..look at how far you have come. . then if you want to really focus on something focus on what your own personal goals are..building muscle , running again, feeling free and most importantly getting healthy ..this is what you can model for your children . This will take time..and is a process and its not a race ..you are not competing you are there to do this for your own health and well-being… be kind and compassionate with yourself…

    You are doing really awesome !!! FYI.. I am right alongside of you ..I am now on my own personal journey of getting healthier with eating and exercising..

    Sheryl :smile:
  • ataylorgardner
    ataylorgardner Posts: 203 Member
    I would agree, stop focusing on the scale so much its not nearly as important as how you feel. You may find through out your journey that the scale is not moving but you will actually be building muscle and/or losing inches. This is way more important than what the scale says. You can do this without resorting to surgery. We are here to help and support just dont give up. When it starts to get difficult look at your kids and remind yourself why you are doing this. Use that feeling as your motivation to push yourself through.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,159 Member
    First, congrats on stopping smoking! I've never smoked, but see how hard it is for people to do that. Good for you!

    I remember the overwhelming feelings when I started this 613 days ago. But this place works. Just don't try to be perfect right now, change something every so often. Since I've been on here, I've stopped drinking soda (4-5 16 oz bottles/day), stopped adding sugar in my coffee, drink at least 8 8 oz glasses of water a day, walk and now run a little (aiming for 80 miles this month, where I used to write "walk" on my weekly to do list once and rarely check it off), hit 10K steps consistently, improve the eating, less processed food, more cooking and more things. I started out to lose 112 lbs so I'm in your range. It's do-able and once you get started, it kind of gets addicting.

    Add friends on here, send me a request if you want. I personally know none of my "friends" on my list, but their input and support is invaluable.

    Good luck.