How not to tell myself white lies in weak moments

laurie04427

I think the only way is to form habits. Get out of the habit of buying that doughnut/muffin.

We go to dunkin's almost every day too on the way to work. Always get a coffee. If I want something I get one of their veggie egg white wake up wraps (150 cals and the macros are decent).

The only choice I have is whether or not I want that wrap. I don't peruse the menu for choices, that's my only choice there. Simplifies things.

jenniferlauriat

I do yell at myself in those moments. I think to myself "Oh, freakin' knock it off! You know what that tastes like, it's not going to change if you don't have it right now." You can also practice "mindful eating": instead of eating on the run (in the car, standing in front of the sink, etc.), set the table properly, sit and eat slowly. So go ahead and have that doughnut, but only eat it while sitting at the table. Some other tips are to chew each bite at least 20 times and put the fork down between bites. Good luck!

Brandolin11

Dear OP (and anyone else who feels they have a severe problem with deluding themselves to the point of bingeing or overeating without even realizing it until afterward, for example):

If you are interested, here is a wonderful document that can guide you through some deeper exploration of why you do what you do. It also gives suggestions of how to overcome it.

http://oamidpeninsula.org/downloads/Sponsors_guide.pdf

I have attended the Overeaters Anonymous program on and off for several years and have found the program to be the gateway to finding solutions for my compulsiveness. The document I'm linking to is from that program.

I tried everything and this was the only thing that worked for me, personally. Not saying it will work for you, but it might be worth a look.

To go through the exercises in the doc, you'll need to get the OA "Big Book" as a companion. The BB can be found on amazon used for a buck, usually.

This doc is actually designed for sponsors, however, there are several sections within it that take you through some of the steps of the program and ask you very pointed questions that get you to think deeply about your past, your fears, your ways of coping, etc. You can just skip over any language directed at sponsors...

I suggest skipping the first 9 pages and starting on Page 10 ("FIRST 30 QUESTIONS FOR NEWCOMERS") .

Then, pages 16-20 take you through the first Three Steps. Lots of good stuff in there.

Finally, pages 22-33 is the big kahuna, the Fourth Step which is, essentially a super in-depth exploration of who you are as a person, morally, emotionally, psychologically, etc. It gets you to take a VERY honest look at yourself, your life, etc. The exercise is designed to get us face our fears, anxieties, anger, resentment, and learn how to deal with them. If you want to stop lying to yourself.....this is the step to help you....

Sorry this is so long but I think working through this stuff could be a life saver for someone. It sure was for me. I am FINALLY free of my horrible slavery to food. Three years later, I still maintain my 65 lb loss and my amazingly happy and contented and BINGE-FREE life. :happy:

I hope it helps. Blessings.

Brandolin11

Oh, you might also find this interesting (from page 14 in the doc I linked to):

THE ACT OF SURRENDERING THE THERAPEUTIC PROCESS
By Dr. Harry Tiebout, MD

In the compulsive overeater, there are two qualities, which are characteristic of their personality: Defiant Individuality and Grandiosity. This may very well explain the well-known fact that the overeater is, among the not so sick, the most unreasonable and stubborn about seeking help or being able to take it even when he seeks it. Both of these qualities operate in unconscious layers of the mind and the influence of both must be defined as: That quality which permits the individual who has it to snap his fingers in the face of reality and live on unperturbed. It has two special values for handling life situations.

In the first place, Defiance, certainly with overeaters, is a surprisingly effective tool for managing anxiety or a bit of reality that is so often a source of anxiety. If you DEFY A FACT AND SAY IT IS NOT SO, and you can succeed in doing so unconsciously, you CAN EAT TO THE DAY OF YOUR DEATH, forever denying the imminence of that fate. It is a trustworthy shield against truth and all its pressures. In the second place, defiance, masquerades as a very real and reliable source of inner strength and self-confidence because it says in essence: 'Nothing can happen to me because I can and do defy it.'

Grandiosity, as structured in the psyche of the overeater, springs from the persisting infantile ego which, as in other neurotic states, characteristically is filled with feelings of omnipotence, demands for direct gratification of wishes and a proneness to interpret frustration as evidence of rejection and lack of love. On the one side, the defiance says it is not true that I CAN'T MANAGE EATING. On the other side the facts speak loudly and with increasing insistence to the contrary. Again on the one side,
grandiosity claims there is nothing it cannot master and control; on the other side, the facts demonstrate unmistakably the opposite. The dilemma of the overeater is now obvious. His unconscious mind rejects, through its capacity for defiance and grandiosity that its conscious mind perceives. Hence, realistically, the individual is frightened by his/her eating and at the
same time is prevented from doing anything about it by the unconscious activity, which can and does ignore or override the conscious mind. With submission to a diet, which at best is a superficial yielding, tension still continues-."There'll come a day when I lose the weight, then I can eat.....".

With surrender, on the other hand, when the ability to accept reality functions on the unconscious level, there is no residual of
battle, and relaxation with freedom from strain and conflict ensues. The tools of the HOW program are therefore designed to induce surrender to the fullest degree possible so that defiance and grandiosity actually cease effectively to function. When that happens, the individual is wide open to reality: He can listen and learn without conflict and fighting back. He is receptive to life, not antagonistic. He senses a feeling of relatedness and at-oneness, which becomes the source of inner peace and serenity, the possession of which frees the individual from the compulsion to eat. In other words, an act of surrender is an occasion wherein the
individual no longer fights life, but accepts it. WITH SOME INDIVIDUALS, THE SURRENDER EXPERIENCE IS THE START OF GENUINE GROWTH AND MATURATION. With others, the surrender phase is the only one ever reached, so that they never lose the need to attend meetings and rely on outside reminders in their daily existence to supply necessary impetus to the surrender feeling, as far as food is concerned.

KristyMayhem331

I suggest logging everything. Sooner or later you will see that that high calories treat just isnt worth it. I also plan my entire day the night before by logging everything i am going to eat and packing it in a small cooler (like a lunch bag), for the day. It really helps me to stay on track and then i know what I have leftover that I can use to treat myself if I want. I have not cut anything out of my diet; if i want it i find a way to make it work. I just usually watch my portions and enjoy in moderation.

Also, if I know I am going to be at a function where food will not be healthy or where it is harder to make smart choices or if I am going on vacation, whatever it ma be I will go into "maintenance mode" on MFP for the duration. That why I get a few extra calories to enjoy while still enjoying the party or trip but again it is all about portions.

Hope it helps. I am by no means an expert; it is just what I find works for me but to each their own.

Happy losing! :flowerforyou:

Dawn5202

You need to sit yourself down and have a talk, just like the ones you have when you are allowing yourself to be tempted. This time have a honest talk. Don't go to DD - it is a trigger as you can buy donuts and muffins there! Just don't go. Make your own coffee or go someplace else. Remember this is your body, your decisions, your goals ..... Start having talks with yourself that you can do this, you will do this. And like everybody else said, log what you eat, seeing that information in black and white can be very motivating, as you can't lie to yourself when you see the calories. Good luck and remember this is a journey.

savingsunday

For instance, breakfast. If you have breakfast waiting for you at work, why do you need to stop at DD on the way? If it's just for coffee, make a DIFFERENT plan for getting coffee. Make it yourself at home and pack it in a travel mug. Stop at 7-Eleven or a deli instead of DD. Use the coffeemaker at work. Etc.

I need to figure this out for myself for a specific time of day: after work but before dinner. My husband usually cooks and if it's not ready when I get home then I often need a snack to get through, even though I never pre-log a late afternoon snack like I do the rest of my day. Yesterday I broke down and ate several handfuls of BBQ potato chips (which were not in the house when I left for work that morning, grr!). Logged 'em and still stayed in my calorie goal, but I would have preferred to save the calories for a snack before bed. Any ideas what I can do to avoid the pre-dinner munchies?

Definitely, if you can avoid stopping at DD at all then that is probably your best bet. Plus, think of all the money you will save not buying a coffee every morning! I know it's tough but sometimes you just have to say no. I find asking myself "Do I really need that?" is a good way to go. Sometimes I will say no but have it anyway. But, at least by taking the moment to pause and ask that question, you are actually thinking about what your doing and not just doing it. A follow up question to "Do I really need that?" is "Why do I want it?" If the answer is "Because it tastes good." Then I generally will not eat it. For example, this morning I had a pop tart for breakfast. It was very hard to not eat the second one but I knew 1) I only wanted it because it tasted good and 2) I didn't want to eat 400 calories for breakfast.

It's tough because you don't want to deny yourself items that you enjoy but you need to account for the calories if you are going to indulge. Just keep the end goal in mind and that what your working towards.

knitapeace, I have the same problem! Right before dinner is the worst. I find if I distract myself, I'm usually safe. I try to do chores or sometimes hubby and I cook dinner together. If I don't keep myself busy though I end up eating more than I should.

drabbits3

logging it OR looking up the calories of what I think I want ahead of time really deters me from eating the calorie bomb. also, logging my breakfast and lunch the night before really helps me. I teach so I cannot be on my computer logging all day long. if I logged my breakfast and lunch (that I packed the night before) I am less likely to deviate from that--too lazy to go back in and change it or afraid I'll forget OR I can see already how many calories I have left for snacks and dinner and don't want to use them up stupidly. yesterday I had a BIG taste for a chai, so I got a tall non fat chai on my way home and it was still 160 calories, so that meant I didn't have my two cookies with my tea before bed. I missed those cookies, though, so I may not have that chai at 4pm next time!!

when I see how many calories one item is I am usually not willing to "spend" that many calories on one small thing. 400 calories for an entire meal is one thing, but 400 calories for one slice of pie just doesn't seem worth it...most of the time! I did take my kids out for a treat on the first day of school and I too had a piece of pie, but I had a slice of peach not the gigantic chocolate cream slice with two inches of whipped cream on top and then I walked for a little extra that day, so I still stayed within my calories. I gotta say--DD is such unhealthy junk, don't spend your calories that way! if you must have a donut at least go to an actual bakery and have a high quality donut!!!!!!!

like others have said, it's all under your control and all about choices--don't act like "wow, how did that happen?!?!". Be in control!!!!!

Zerodette

Can you buy DD brand coffee to make at home? Because I've never known a single soul who prefers DD coffee who could just... stop drinking DD coffee. I figure they must put crack in it. So making it at home would be the best way to get that special DD coffee taste, without having to see all the tempting pastries.


I don't drink coffee at all, so I don't know jack about what is available to make at home vs. can only be bought at the shop.

farfromthetree

I know different things work for different people. Some people need to abstain from certain trigger foods or they will binge. For me, moderation is what worked. For years I tried giving up certain foods, desserts, carbs, fast/junk food.Nothing worked. Until I began to allow myself these foods in moderation. I now let myself have smaller portions of whatever I am craving. If one day I am craving a bag of chips, I have it. Another day I crave Starbucks, I have it. Ice cream, I have it. As long as it is within my daily calories. When I would deprive myself, it would make me gorge on "healthy" foods which made me fat because it was jus too many calories. Now that I am no longer deprived I do not feel the need to eat in such large quantities. Sometimes I cannot believe I lost 44 pounds eating the same foods I refused to because they were fattening. You just have to find what works for you!

angela233Z

I totally get it!!

That is how I got to be this weight - just thinking one cookie/bag of chips etc wasn't going to hurt.

Here is what is currently working for me.
1 - I do 5:2 diet, where you eat 500 calories 2 days a week and eat at Maintenance other 5 days. So I can easily say on my low cal days - that I can have it tomorrow and I often do, but have lost weight doing this.

2 - LOG EVERYTHING IN MFP. Once I started seeing how those handfuls of cheetos were affecting my weight loss, it was easier to stop eating them.

good luck :-)

pleasurelittletreasure

I have similar issues with the good intentions that get derailed by temptation. I pretty much have to avoid, well, Pennsylvania. People who live there understand. Cheese steaks. Fresh pretzels. Tastykakes. It's a gauntlet. I throw in the Jersey Shore for good measure. But since it's inevitable that I will be in one of those two places every couple of years, I just plan for it. So, on a smaller scale, you will just need to plan for the little extras that you want. Then, instead of it sabotaging your efforts, it's worked into your day. No guilt. No gain. No problem. I used to go to McDonald's telling myself that I was only going to get one thing and end up getting 3. Now I will go perhaps 2 times a month and keep it under 600 calories - I worked it in. I have French fry needs. They've got the goods. Once I started pre-logging, it made all the difference in the world.

But, truthfully, I don't have it ALL worked out. I have no control over Pennsylvania. It's like Disneyland for my taste buds.

samuelsson

Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.

I didn't work for Homer

And it won't work for chronic compulsive overeaters either (raising hand). In fact, eating in secret and eating things like donuts until I was physically sick were things I did every day for about 10 years. So no...it doesn't work.

I agree with the above poster, as another compulsive overeater (who still has her moments, so I can relate to the OP). In fact, my suggestion is similar to that of many other posts -- DESTROY THE SECRECY.

Seriously. Log everything. Everything. Post about it here on mfp and ask for help, strength, support, encouragement, whatever you need from your mfpals. This will accomplish a number of things:

1) It will remove the secrecy and keep everything in the open.
2) It will help you make a MINDFUL decision in the moment about your potential food or exercise choice -- should I buy this muffin? should I skip my planned workout?
3) It will allow your mfpals to know where you are and support you. Trust me, as you've seen from the number of responses to your post, this rings true for lots of us.

Becoming healthier and losing weight is about more than just choosing the right foods and exercising. It's about being HONEST with ourselves about WHY we eat what we eat, when we eat, what our triggers are, and why we are making choices to benefit or undermine ourselves.