it sucks

Options
jenn50
jenn50 Posts: 81
in Motivation and Support
well its the holidays and i have been sick like a month.... im ok for the most part so it's nothing to worry about. well my husband and i aren't doing the greatest and im possibly having to move out and he's leaving the state. Now im not an emotional eater but i am an emotional starver meaning i don't want to eat. i eat periodically to keep from getting weaker but im so lost and going through so much i don't know what to do.

I try to stay strong and continue to do right and things change so much. one day he's all i don't want to do this anymore and the next he's i love you......i'm an emotional wreck. please help!!

Replies

  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
    Options
    My suggestion is couples therapy. If he won't then maybe just you could go, if thats not in the budget you may talk to a precher. They can offer some good advice and tend to be good listeners. I'm sorry your having a hard time. I've been there, its not fun. I'll pray for you (hope I don't offend you) and I hope things improve. Good luck
  • jans62
    jans62 Posts: 1
    Options
    hey..dont let him ruin your health...its the only thing you truely have some control over...plus...I bet he isnt worth it....hang in there and good luck...and try to have a happy holiday without him...
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    Options
    Boys are silly! That's what I always say. Sometimes after we've been married for awhile then our spouses know what buttons to push to make us feel at our absolute lowest.

    Hang in there. Know that deep down inside that you're a beautiful person who deserves to be treated well and treat others well. You'll make it through the rough times with help and support from friends and loved ones.

    As for the eating sometimes it's just hard when going through major life changes to stay on top of what is healthiest for us. Just know that this too will change.

    I pray that things get better and that you find what you want and deserve. :)
  • amandalc980
    amandalc980 Posts: 383 Member
    Options
    My suggestion is couples therapy. If he won't then maybe just you could go, if thats not in the budget you may talk to a precher. They can offer some good advice and tend to be good listeners. I'm sorry your having a hard time. I've been there, its not fun. I'll pray for you (hope I don't offend you) and I hope things improve. Good luck

    I think everyone should get couples therapy every couple years!!! Like an oil change on your car. :) My husband is totally oppossed so I buy books and read. So many cool tools on how to talk. :)
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    Options
    Sorry you are going through so much, try counselling, either private, or group which might be cheaper, or speak to a pastor if you have one.....

    I hope you get through this, best of wishes......
  • lindalee0315
    lindalee0315 Posts: 527 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry you're going through this. It isn't fair of your husband to play with your emotions like that. Perhaps he's working things out, but it isn't good for you to be in a relationship where you are insecure. His feelings about your relationship is controlling your emotional wellbeing.: "He loves me!" = elation; "He doesn't want to stay!" = despair. To the extent you can, let go of the daily roller coaster. You cannot control what he says or does, but you can control to some extent your gut reaction to it. Perhaps a simple statement to him, "look. I know things are tough. I want us to be together, but I will survive if we're not. Work things out with yourself, but it destroys me inside to hear you talk like this every day with changes from minute to minute." will do wonders for your own sense of wellness.
  • skinnyack
    skinnyack Posts: 683
    Options
    You're right- it does! But you are going to get through it.

    Step 1: You need to set up your boundaries- a little forcefield around you. Everything in that bubble gets taken care of. You get to decide what gets in your bubble- choose wisely.

    My interpretation- he's the train wreck- not you. If he wants to sabotage his life and get all crazy- let him- but not in your bubble. If you let him wreak havoc on your life, no matter how much you love him, and no matter how much he apologizes after, you won't be able to forgive him. And you want to be able to if he's just momentarily being an idiot.

    Stay strong sweetie- we're all human. Now's a good time to be the rock and weather the storm. he'll appreciate that if he's a good hubby! If he doesn't kick him to the curb!

Categories