People trying to discourage me!

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ZebraGlee78
ZebraGlee78 Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
So myfitnesspal links to my facebook account, and since I've been exercising so much lately, all that shows up on Facebook is myfitnesspal stuff! So someone messages me and wants to know why I'm bothering with losing so much weight -- I should be happy with myself the way I am; there is nothing wrong with being overweight; it's that stuck up Hollywood crowd type people who make me think there is something wrong with me. Seriously?

Then last night a female member of my family (not naming names or relationt to me), tells me that I'm worrying too much about my weight, food and exercise and I should just eat what I want and not work-out on Sundays at all (she's religious). This coming from someone who I have suspected to be anorexic and/or bulemic. I haven't even lost that much. Maybe she's worried I'll be as thin as her.
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Replies

  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
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    some people just dont understand that its about more than looking good. its about feeling good to and not just because of appearance but because of energy, endorphins, new found stamina and most importantly a feelilng of high self worth and confidence that comes with the territory.

    next time they try to attack your goals, see if you can remember to tell them all the positive things that come along with your weight loss, and good luck to you in your endeavors!!!!
  • AmberElaine84
    AmberElaine84 Posts: 964 Member
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    I've had that happen numerous times!!! Even now, just maintaining, people think that I worry too much. They think that just because I am done losing weight that I don't need to watch what I eat or work out just as much. But I DO need to! This is what's keeping me healthy and happy!! You need to try to ignore those people. They might not mean to offend you, but they don't know what your body wants or needs...only YOU do! You know how badly you want to lose weight and what the benefits of it will be, so keep on keepin' on, girlie!
  • rokikio
    rokikio Posts: 92
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    Sorry to hear that you've had so much negativity surrounding you. All I can say is that you need to do what is best for you. Exercise if it makes you feel good and watch what you eat and enjoy a little bit occasionally. There is nothing better than doing something wonderful for yourself.

    Luckily, I haven't had the same problem you do. All the people around me are so supportive and encouraging. It helps to have positive people around. Best of luck to you!
  • Dlibo1013
    Dlibo1013 Posts: 883 Member
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    I would simply say to them "KMA"
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Its very frustrating when people discourage you. I think you're right about some people being in a kind of "competitive" mode - they don't want you to be thin like them, you might take some of their attention away.

    I actually had to tell my husband to stop discouraging me (he kept saying I've lost enough). Women at the gym have told me I look great, which is nice to hear, but I shouldn't lose any more. One went so far to tell me that I just need to tone up a bit and to fire my personal trainer if he is not giving me the same advice (felt like singing that Sarah Barrellies song, "Who died and made you king of anything?" to her - if I could sing that is).

    Have come to the conclusion - I'm going to do what I want to do. Fat or thin - if you like me or not - its your problem. I love where I'm at and where I'm going. People who say anything other than good job - are jealous and rude.
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
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    One of my biggest pet peeves is someone telling me that I shouldn't lose weight when I know that I need to. If I'm overweight, I need to lose weight- plain and simple.

    I also link my MFP to my Facebook but have considered taking it off because of the negative feedback I get...but I get a lot of POSITIVE feedback, too, so I kept it linked. I've had a few of my friends message me to tell me that I help to motivate them when they see my status updates with my food log and whatnot, and to me its worth it to subject myself to the negative.

    Don't let the others get you down- just prove to them that you can be as fabulous on the outside as you are on the inside!
  • Mama_of_three
    Mama_of_three Posts: 1
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    There are always going to be people in your life that prefer to burst your bubble than lift you up. I'm sure that most have "good intentions" and don't realize what a bummer it is and how unsupportive they're being of your effort to improve your life. Quick solve would be to unlink your facebook page or customize your privacy settings so that those people cannot see those posts.

    Good luck and be strong! =)
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
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    People always tell me I don't need to or shouldn't lose more weight (I can hide it pretty well anywhere but in a bathing suit!), but I know my goals are not unhealthy, and that I am doing it in a safe and moderate way. It is frustrating, especially my hubby when he will give me a hard time about the groceries I buy, or if i won't eat any (or just 1) of his pizza or skip fast food because i dont want a 1300 calorie lunch. I don't think that this has anything to do with being influenced by the Hollywood type. I am not shooting for a size 0-2. I'd like to be a solid 6, which is obtainable for my frame. I'd also like to be toned and able to keep up with whatever physical activity I want. That's wanting to be fit and healthy, not just wanting to be skinny.
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
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    I have had it happen...I always use a "d-bag" phrase from jeff reeed.."Haters gonna hate" so take all the negativity with a grain of salt and know what you are doing is good. Its healthy and it feels good:happy:
  • kimmiebear70
    kimmiebear70 Posts: 384 Member
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    It looks to me like you have the right motives for losing weight, being healthy and such. Aren't we all a little vain? I'll admit it! I want to be sexy too! After I got out of Navy boot camp when I was 23, I was HOT! Man I miss it. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to maintain it because I didn't maintain the lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise. When I had knee surgery and then a medical discharge, it got even worse. Since then (17 years) I've steadily gained until I reached my highest weight of 301lbs. I'm only 5'4" so needless to say, this is NOT healthy! So long as you maintain healthy eating habits and lose only what you need to, don't worry about the naysayers out there.

    You can be healthy!
  • jschwarz3531
    jschwarz3531 Posts: 40
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    I have the same problems! I wont even post my updates to facebook because I know all I will get is negativity.

    It is hard for people to understand-or they are just jealous that you are so motivated!
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    I don't link my MPF with Facebook for that reason. I just don't need everyone I know in my business and they aren't on the same page with my goals like you guys on MFP are.
  • brittlynne3579
    brittlynne3579 Posts: 217 Member
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    I see this on the forum ALL THE TIME!!!!

    Do yourself a favor and don't link MFP to your facebook. People who are really around to support you will. Those who try and discourage you for whatever reason need to be examined in terms of if they deserve to be in your life.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but I just see this about once a day on here and my heart breaks that so many of my friends on here have families and peers who aren't supportive!
  • margie_77
    margie_77 Posts: 693 Member
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    I don't have this account linked to anything. I haven't posted anything about my weight loss on facebook at all. The only thing I post on there is about running 5k's (which I just started). I'm not even giving people of a different mind set the chance to say anything! hahaha
  • JaydeSkye
    JaydeSkye Posts: 282 Member
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    Sounds like we should start a club.

    I have mine linked to my FB as well, so does my husband.

    I actually went in and deleted the part that links the exercise because I was so annoyed by all the comments I would get..

    I left the daily post when I close my journal because I've had a lot of friends msg me and thank me for showing them the MFP website... so, I leave it linked to hopefully inspire others.

    You're right though, it IS completely annoying. The last thing I want to hear is how I "don't NEED to loose weight, that I'm fine at the size I am now." etc. etc. etc. When if they looked at my journal, they'd see everything I ate and the exercise I did and know I was doing it in a healthy way.. but, whatever.

    Your goal weight is 140 - I personally think that is a very realistic weight and don't understand why anyone would try to discourage you from reaching that goal...
  • jimmydeanbakker
    jimmydeanbakker Posts: 333
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    I have this problem all the time, every single freaking day. The people that should be encouraging me are the ones trying to stand in my way, and it is frustrating. I eat approximately 2,000 calories a day, the recommended amount of calories for most human beings on the planet, and everybody is claiming that I'm too thin. I think it's because they're not use to seeing normal sized people in a plus-sized world.
  • jimmydeanbakker
    jimmydeanbakker Posts: 333
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    Oh, I don't do the whole update facebook thingy. All my so-called friends would think I was bragging.
  • TaneeisFitforLife
    TaneeisFitforLife Posts: 433
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    Mine is linked to FB & only receive positive feedback but then again if they are going to be negative then I usually delete them from my friend's list ;) I don't put up with emotional vampires lol
  • RHOyalT
    RHOyalT Posts: 204 Member
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    That is why I debating linking this page with my Facebook page. I don't need negative people bringing me down (I can do that just fine by myself, thank you very much!:laugh: ) I only link the exercise and when my food journal is complete. Any status updates I post here are strictly between my MFP friends and me.

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