I can't do it...I dont have it in me
Replies
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No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.
What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.
You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.
You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.
Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.
Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.
You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
OP. Please read and re-read the above.
Then put it to work.
Too massive a calorie restriction will lead to a lack of self-control and binging.
A moderate calorie deficit, varied diet (yes, you can have soda, or whatever, if it fits your calorie budget) and plenty of protein will keep you satiated whilst you consistently lose weight and avoid counter productive snack-attacks.
Lots of good responses. I drink diet soda and I snack often, it's about eating healthy snacks. Nutritious foods will keep you fuller longer. Your body needs fuel to exercise. You don't have to be so restrictive, it's not as sustainable to be that way. I know it's hard girl but you need to believe in yourself and realize that it is most definitely possible to do this. choosemyplate.gov is an excellent resource if you'd like to learn more about nutrition.0 -
You don't have to cut anything out completely. You can enjoy what you like, but the key is using moderation. Maybe it would help to apply the 80/20 rule. Use 80% of your daily or weekly calories on foods for nutrition and the other 20% for snacks. You might find that just knowing that you can have it will help with the cravings. Another thing, don't label food "good" or "bad". I'm not sure if you are or not but I've noticed that when people do and then have some of the "bad" food they often feel guilty and sometimes decide to give up.
What you shouldn't be doing is trying to lose weight to please other people. You have to want to do this for yourself. While working on losing weight work on your self confidence. Learn to love yourself and accept yourself no matter what the number on the scale is.0 -
It's possible that you tried too aggressive a plan too quickly--the harsher the plan, the bigger the temptation (and possible disappointment). Sometimes slowly tapering your calorie intake is an easier way (and more practical).
1) Change your MFP goal settings to "maintain weight."
2) Try logging all of your calories for a little while. Don't focus on meeting any particular goal; just eat how you normally would and be COMPLETELY HONEST. This will give you an idea of your baseline consumption AND help you practice logging calories. Once again, DO NOT focus on meeting any particular goal.
3) Once you've gotten a few days in, look at your current calorie intake. How many calories in excess are you having?
4) Figure out a small goal to stick to for a week or few. For example, if you exceed your maintenance goal by 400 calories, you could trying cutting the excess to 200. Also important is thinking of an easy way to meet that goal; for example, cutting out 200 calories would be equal to a single soda or a small bag of chips--more manageable than cutting them out entirely.
5) If you're able to maintain this for a few weeks, great! Pat yourself on the back and set yourself another small goal--or maybe a bigger one if you have the confidence now.
If you can't maintain this--don't give up! Keep logging calories and set a different, easier goal and try to achieve that instead. The important thing is that you gain the confidence to control your habits and then use that confidence to achieve progressively greater things.
Some members of this board will probably scoff at this, because I'm not just telling you to lose weight right away or "suck it up." But to me, the biggest obstacles are discipline and confidence, and *anything* that helps you build those two (even something like keeping yourself to a 400-calorie excess instead of letting it balloon to something higher) will help you in the long run--the discipline and confidence will give you the ability and mental strength to set progressively bigger goals and deal with any setbacks.
(For my own part, I spent a week just eating maintenance when I started. Then I moved to 1800 calories, 1700, 1500, etc... and am a fair ways lower than that now. But I didn't rush it--I kept myself comfortable, consistent, and accountable)0 -
It's possible that you tried too aggressive a plan too quickly--the harsher the plan, the bigger the temptation (and possible disappointment). Sometimes slowly tapering your calorie intake is an easier way (and more practical).
That is very true for me.
Also the second I tell myself I CAN'T eat some particular thing (whether it's bacon or doughnuts...which I don't really like all that much to begin with), I am immediately obsessed with wanting whatever that is and cannot stop thinking about it. It's ridiculous.
Much easier to tell myself...well I could have it if I really wanted to. And fit it into my overall calories.
More often than not, I don't eat it.0 -
That was a great response. Thank you for that. I needed to hear that too.0
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You CAN do it !!!! Just portion control your food and soft drinks. You may want to get a food scale to measure your food if you don't have one already. The food scale will help great.0
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Yup, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. We all have. "I'll never find someone to love." "I'll always be fat." "I'll never finish my degree." "I'll never live in a clean house."
If we give in to all those things we become lonely, super-obese hoarders who, like the woman in my hometown last year, died as the inside of her house collapsed around her. She wasn't found for weeks.
Some of us seem to need to work harder than others to avoid caving in totally to our worse natures. But we still have choices. Some things you may give up on either temporarily or permanently to work on others. I'll never finish my PhD but it ceased to matter. I did keep hunting for Kismet and Bill and I found each other at age 54. I'm working on shedding stuff and took two boxes to the Goodwill this week. And I log into MFP and try to improve my health -- with more or less success. It beats the alternatives for sure.
You need to make your choices, too. You can get healthy and lose weight. You may need to do more research to make a plan that works for you. The choice is yours. And anyone who says sticking to those choices is easy needs a dope slap.
We empathize. At least, most of us do.0 -
No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.
What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.
You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.
You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.
Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.
Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.
You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
Nothing more to say, she nailed it. Great response!0 -
This is channeled from Yoda all wise being of beings ever created on screen and through thought:
To yourself be kind. To yourself like best friend speak, what would you say to your best friend if, struggling with similar things, were they, hmm?
To beat yourself up refuse. With you be gentle. If to put yourself down you hear that negativity creeping in wanting, my best friend say, think what would, hmm? And say that instead.
In regular speak: Be kind and gentle with yourself, you'll make it, speak to yourself like you would a best friend and don't beat yourself up
Bringing the silly0 -
You aren't expected to be a saint. No one eats NO treats. Everything in moderation. I measure out my treats. Like my b/f bought me a tub of cheese balls...LOL! Well, they are one of my danger foods...I could eat half a tub in a sitting. So I measure out one ounce...you get quite a few in an ounce....and I can easily fit that into my day.
That's the thing...fitting the foods you crave around the other foods that are good for you. I used to drink Coke all the time. Now I drink Diet Snapple. I used to love ice cream...now I will fit in a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich.
It CAN be done! You CAN do it! Don't deprive yourself of the foods you love....just don't over indulge. Cutting back does NOT mean cutting out.0 -
Of course you're failing. When you tell yourself you "can't" have this or that, you are setting yourself up for epic failure. Learn moderation, it's the only sustainable approach to healthy and permanent weight loss.0
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I have tried so hard. I tried to cut out soda and snacks...and it only gets worse/...I crave it and want it... I am almost 30 pounds higher than when I started a year ago....do..Do I just accept the fact that I am going to be fat... that I am not going to be attractive to people... that I am going to feel like this forever.
Only you know the answer to that.
We are the sum of the choices we make. Good, bad or indifferent.
Yesterday is done. Tomorrow aint here yet. And forever is a long time
You got this. Just give yourself a break, take a long hard look at what others have posted & you will start to find solutions to what is getting in your way. Apply what works for you as necessary. And then? It builds on itself. It really does.. I promise.
Focus on today.
Fsunami0 -
You, have to want this and it comes from within you. You can drink sparkling water or replace with diet soda. Snacks should be used in moderation and IF you have room in your calories. This are all choices only you can make and you're not going to get there by starting off with "I can't".0
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Great response! Really hit home with me.:ohwell:0
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No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.
What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.
You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.
You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.
Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.
Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.
You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
^This. You don't have to give up your favorite foods to lose weight. You just can't eat all of them all the time. What helped me with that was this idea:
They are making more food every day. I have a car, money, and a grocery store nearby. I don't need to eat half this cheesecake now, because I can get another one on a different day. Cheesecake will always be available, so 1 slice is enough.
Then, add whatever you're eating to your calories for the day and move on. If you make the effort to eat as many *healthy* foods as possible (veggies, fruit, lean protein, etc), you'll have calories left for snacks.
But it's your choice. No one can make you do it, just like no one made you gain weight. You have to decide you are willing to work hard and then put in the effort.0 -
Two things..... weight loss is about your health.... nothing more.... parents have to take it very seriously for their families, because it guarantees they will model good habits, and be around longer!! Secondly, the minutes of a life are going to tick by, regardless of your size... so how do you choose to experience them --- active and healthy or unhappy and unhealthy. Anything you do well each day is better than the day before..... just one day at a time, baby!!! Rooting for you !!!!!:flowerforyou:0
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I don't believe in "can't". Accept that this is going to take effort and time and you will succeed.0
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I have tried so hard. I tried to cut out soda and snacks...and it only gets worse/...I crave it and want it... I am almost 30 pounds higher than when I started a year ago....do..Do I just accept the fact that I am going to be fat... that I am not going to be attractive to people... that I am going to feel like this forever.
So much good advice in this thread! OP, you have a lot of options now to try. I'm going to echo that (a) treats are good, make them part of your calories and stop trying to restrict yourself unnecessarily and (b) use exercise to give yourself more wiggle room in your calories. It used to be that I had to exercise to feel like I had enough calories for the day. It's not like that anymore, but I still work out because I love how it makes me feel and I know it's going to help me develop a strong body, not just a slender one.
Oh, and exercise is great for reducing these feelings of anxiety and sadness that are coming through in your post.0 -
No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.
this posters response was spot on- but this needs to be emphasized.
Seriously- it's work.
You have to do the work.
And keep doing the work- day in and day out- regardless of if you want to or not. That's how you succeed- by continuing to do the things- even when you don't want to.0 -
I have never had this kind of support in my life about my weight, I always got " you only live once eat as much as you want." You guys are all amazing..and I will be trying quite a few of these techniques...and I will let you guys know how I am going.0
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No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.
What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.
You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.
You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.
Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.
Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.
You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
I love you!!! I needed to hear this too.
I've been shoddy at eating/drinking and logging for a while now but kind of back on it the past 2 weeks. Not weighed myself though yet and I slipped up by having heavy drinking sessions both Saturdays!! Damn Alcohol! I love it so much lol
Takes the piddle when some people can eat anything and still be thin!! :explode:0
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