A Saturday Night Rant

andreamaym

I'm 5"8 and weigh 135( so I can relate to your stats, and you look absolutely fine!) So it's honestly just that some people are freaking idiots. Seriously, they wouldn't say comments like that to someone that is 200 lbs over weight, but yet they think it's okay because your not over weight. Just know that some people are morons and don't think before they speak.

Thank you for that! It's incredibly frustrating but I guess I need to learn to let those things roll off my back. It's become very clear to me that not everyone has proper social etiquette.......

boricua3177

I have learned that people really don't know WTF to say out of their mouths. I am one of those people that am very sensitive about my weight & apperance due to the fact that all my life I had a mother who "fat shamed" anyone in her presence. Even me when I wasn't fat at all, I simply wasn't a size 4 I was a size 7. So, yeah, talking about weight is a no no to me.

When I was 9 months pregnant, my brother's MIL (who has no tact at all) declared to me that I was HUGE. Ummm, beign 9 months pregnant will do that to you, dumb *kitten*!

Weight is such a touchy subject. Most people know that, but they seriously have no clue of what to say out of their mouths.

andreamaym

I have learned that people really don't know WTF to say out of their mouths. I am one of those people that am very sensitive about my weight & apperance due to the fact that all my life I had a mother who "fat shamed" anyone in her presence. Even me when I wasn't fat at all, I simply wasn't a size 4 I was a size 7. So, yeah, talking about weight is a no no to me.

When I was 9 months pregnant, my brother's MIL (who has no tact at all) declared to me that I was HUGE. Ummm, beign 9 months pregnant will do that to you, dumb *kitten*!

Weight is such a touchy subject. Most people know that, but they seriously have no clue of what to say out of their mouths.

I don't have any children but it always boggles my mind when people comment on how "huge" pregnant people are. I mean, someone who is pregnant is growing another human being inside of them. Of COURSE their bellies are big! Can't help but roll my eyes......

brianpperkins

Do you comment to a person if they lose weight from an unhealthy into a healthy range? Based on the information provided, your former co-workers essentially did the same thing except in your case you needed to gain, rather than lose, in order to reach a healthy level.

I may comment how wonderful they look, but I do not comment on their weight unless they bring it up. Maybe because I am so sensitive to remarks about my weight, I'm more aware of what I say to others.

So rather than talk to them and inform them about your discomfort discussing weight you accuse them of being "socially retarded" although you admit you know it wasn't intended to upset or offend you? I find that interesting. People don't know about your sensitivities to topics if you don't tell them.

I find the comment to be in very poor taste, no matter the intention. So I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

For the record, I would never actually call someone socially retarded to their face. Hence the MFP rant to blow off some steam.

You completely bypassed the need to tell them you find the comment in poor taste. It is impossible for others to know your sensitivities unless you have that talk.

I will demonstrate the honesty I'm talking about. I find your actions here worse than the comments you complain about. By your own admission, you know they didn't mean harm and probably meant it as a compliment. On the other hand, nothing in this thread is meant as complimentary of the people where you used to work and you act as though going behind their backs to a site you don't think they'll visit makes it somehow acceptable. " I hope they are prepared to hear MY opinions about THEIR weight" does not sound supportive ... in fact seems extremely judgmental. You aren't the only one though. Let's see ... there is your "socially retarded" comment ... another person citing a "moderate mental retardation" ... the ever polite "you're still ugly" retort ... "some people are morons" ... all in response to people noting, perhaps quite clumsily, that the OP went from unhealthily underweight to a healthy weight.

I'd much rather be disliked for being honest than demonstrate the duplicity of some here in this thread.

andreamaym

"It is impossible for others to know your sensitivities unless you have that talk."

In my opinion, commenting on an individual's weight gain is in poor taste, whether I am sensitive about it or not, and regardless of what the intention was when it was mentioned. I guess holding everyone to that standard of etiquette is unrealistic. Clearly.

"I find your actions here worse than the comments you complain about. By your own admission, you know they didn't mean harm and probably meant it as a compliment."

I'm sorry you feel that way. Luckily, while posting on the internet, you have the option of being selective in the conversations you participate in. And you are correct - it was PROBABLY meant as a compliment. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. It does not make hearing those comments or being stared up and down any less uncomfortable or upsetting for me.


"On the other hand, nothing in this thread is meant as complimentary of the people where you used to work and you act as though going behind their backs to a site you don't think they'll visit makes it somehow acceptable."

I needed some support. Is that not what this website is for? As I previously stated, I needed to vent. And I did, and it helped. And no one was hurt in the process.

"I hope they are prepared to hear MY opinions about THEIR weight" does not sound supportive ... in fact seems extremely judgemental."

Well why not, if they feel it's OK to openly judge my body? I could not actually imagine my making a comeback specific to someone's body, but I absolutely might ask "How might you feel if I said that exact same thing to you?"

These are literally only people I see when I choose to visit my old workplace, and I absolutely needed some support after that crappy afternoon. I think you could have expressed your sentiments in a way that did not come across in such a way that I feel you're just arguing with me for the sake of arguing. Otherwise, you could have just rolled your eyes at my thread and moved along. I don't think your comments are very helpful to myself, or yourself for that matter. Cheers.

brianpperkins

"It is impossible for others to know your sensitivities unless you have that talk."

In my opinion, commenting on an individual's weight gain is in poor taste, whether I am sensitive about it or not, and regardless of what the intention was when it was mentioned. I guess holding everyone to that standard of etiquette is unrealistic. Clearly.

"I find your actions here worse than the comments you complain about. By your own admission, you know they didn't mean harm and probably meant it as a compliment."

I'm sorry you feel that way. Luckily, while posting on the internet, you have the option of being selective in the conversations you participate in. And you are correct - it was PROBABLY meant as a compliment. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. It does not make hearing those comments or being stared up and down any less uncomfortable or upsetting for me.


"On the other hand, nothing in this thread is meant as complimentary of the people where you used to work and you act as though going behind their backs to a site you don't think they'll visit makes it somehow acceptable."

I needed some support. Is that not what this website is for? As I previously stated, I needed to vent. And I did, and it helped. And no one was hurt in the process.

"I hope they are prepared to hear MY opinions about THEIR weight" does not sound supportive ... in fact seems extremely judgemental."

Well why not, if they feel it's OK to openly judge my body? I could not actually imagine my making a comeback specific to someone's body, but I absolutely might ask "How might you feel if I said that exact same thing to you?"

These are literally only people I see when I choose to visit my old workplace, and I absolutely needed some support after that crappy afternoon. I think you could have expressed your sentiments in a way that did not come across in such a way that I feel you're just arguing with me for the sake of arguing. Otherwise, you could have just rolled your eyes at my thread and moved along. I don't think your comments are very helpful to myself, or yourself for that matter. Cheers.

The hypocrisy of you complaining about etiquette while talking about others behind their back actually made me laugh. It's clear you only want to hear that you're 100% right and everyone else is wrong. Guess what ... that isn't reality. Honesty is helpful ... letting you lie to yourself and others isn't. Perhaps one day you'll progress enough to realize that.

I could have gone to a site that I don't think you'd visit and call you names behind your back ... then claim I needed support in that effort ... all while playing along with your comments here ... but that would be impolite and dishonest to you, and much more importantly to myself. If you find that as argumentative, you're then taking issue with your own actions.

andreamaym

"It is impossible for others to know your sensitivities unless you have that talk."

In my opinion, commenting on an individual's weight gain is in poor taste, whether I am sensitive about it or not, and regardless of what the intention was when it was mentioned. I guess holding everyone to that standard of etiquette is unrealistic. Clearly.

"I find your actions here worse than the comments you complain about. By your own admission, you know they didn't mean harm and probably meant it as a compliment."

I'm sorry you feel that way. Luckily, while posting on the internet, you have the option of being selective in the conversations you participate in. And you are correct - it was PROBABLY meant as a compliment. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. It does not make hearing those comments or being stared up and down any less uncomfortable or upsetting for me.


"On the other hand, nothing in this thread is meant as complimentary of the people where you used to work and you act as though going behind their backs to a site you don't think they'll visit makes it somehow acceptable."

I needed some support. Is that not what this website is for? As I previously stated, I needed to vent. And I did, and it helped. And no one was hurt in the process.

"I hope they are prepared to hear MY opinions about THEIR weight" does not sound supportive ... in fact seems extremely judgemental."

Well why not, if they feel it's OK to openly judge my body? I could not actually imagine my making a comeback specific to someone's body, but I absolutely might ask "How might you feel if I said that exact same thing to you?"

These are literally only people I see when I choose to visit my old workplace, and I absolutely needed some support after that crappy afternoon. I think you could have expressed your sentiments in a way that did not come across in such a way that I feel you're just arguing with me for the sake of arguing. Otherwise, you could have just rolled your eyes at my thread and moved along. I don't think your comments are very helpful to myself, or yourself for that matter. Cheers.

The hypocrisy of you complaining about etiquette while talking about others behind their back actually made me laugh. It's clear you only want to hear that you're 100% right and everyone else is wrong. Guess what ... that isn't reality. Honesty is helpful ... letting you lie to yourself and others isn't. Perhaps one day you'll progress enough to realize that.

I could have gone to a site that I don't think you'd visit and call you names behind your back ... then claim I needed support in that effort ... all while playing along with your comments here ... but that would be impolite and dishonest to you, and much more importantly to myself. If you find that as argumentative, you're then taking issue with your own actions.

And I'm being honest when I say your condescending tone is not very helpful to me. I'm not sure what your intentions were when you initially replied to this, other than to start a conflict of sorts. If you wanted to offer advice then I apologize but the way in which you offered it failed to reach me. "Perhaps one day you'll progress enough to realize this." I don't appreciate being spoken to like I'm an idiot, because I most certainly am not.

brianpperkins

You may not be an idiot but you definitely hunt out things to get offended by and overlook anything in your own behaviors that requires facing your flaws. You claim you're polite and complain about other people's etiquette while starting a thread to talk about them behind their back .. a very impolite behavior. Somebody tries to say you're getting healthier (your comments and admission of an ED illustrate you needed to gain in order to be healthy) in what is an awkward manner , you get upset while judging their weight negatively. You rant online rather than have an adult conversation with the people who's comments make you uncomfortable.You equate a comment about reaching a healthy weight range with an overweight person gaining into an even more unhealthy range. You then interpret any honesty about the content of your statements and actions as arguing for the sake of arguing.