Morbidly Obese and looking for support and help

persistentsoul

I started MFP 7 weeks ago at 23 stone and am now hovering few pounds above 20 stone. I cut out highly processed foods and am doing a high fat low carb food plan that is mostly paleo and Ketogenic in nature. Years ago at 21 stone my doctor told me i should have gastric surgery to lose weight which would mean i could only eat a tiny amount at any one time after. I really did not want that so i joined a militantly strict 12 step eating disorder group similar to alcoholics anonymous, I was put on a 1200-1500 calorie a day whole food diet. I went down to 13 stone in well under a year. It was very hard because i was ravenously hungry and an emotional wreck a lot of the time. It did not really work for me hence being 23 stone 7 weeks ago. However from that past experience I at least know it can be done without surgery.
Another time when i was much younger i did a meal replacement program which was given the ok by my doctor at 500cal a day, that I found i could not stick to. I was told that as long as nutritional needs are met it is ok for someone who is morbidly obese to start with a bigger than normal calorie deficit. The shakes were horrid though and the personal underlying issues were not addressed.

Since all of that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. An assortment of medications did nothing to stabilise it and i ended up having a serious mental breakdown and losing almost everything and everyone in my life. One good thing that came out of that was that by then I had messed up my life so much that I was signed off as being unfit for work and finally had the time i needed to do some healing and get help. I had some charitable counselling and NHS therapy. That helped me come to terms with some stuff. More medications for bipolar failed to help. while looking for alternative treatments for bipolar I came across a recommendation for Ketogenic dietary treatment. I decided to give that a shot as it also was touted is being of benefit for various other health problems I have. It is too early on to say if having an impact on most things but it is definitely helping me to lose weight without being hungry all the time so I am happy with it. I have played with it a bit , I tried adding in semi fasting days of eating 500-600cal but that gave me a really bad gallbladder attack apparently due to bile stagnating in gallbladder while not eating so no more fasting for me. Mostly I have been eating between 1000 and 1600 calories a day and that suits me. I am not able to be very active due to long term chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. For me i am having to rely primarily on dietary changes at this stage but do a bit of walking when I can. I am very pleased with the progress I have made so far.

I have found what works for me is eating whole foods, without any artificial sweeteners or highly processed foods. I have found that eating high fat and low carb has killed my cravings and hunger between meals which is verging on miraculous to me. As I have been told by doctor that a large calorie deficit is ok for me (considering I am morbidly obese) I am not worried about eating below what MFP standard settings tell me. I am not willing to eat anything as low as 500cal a day again but I feel fine between 1000-1500 cal and allow myself to fluctuate within that zone depending on how i feel. As I am not able to be very active I do not eat back activity calories and do not log activity.

Reading on these boards it is clear that what works for different people is very varied and there is not a one size fits all perfect plan. I think it is just a matter of persistent experimentation to find what works for you. You can definitely do it if you really set your mind to it and refuse to give up. If what you try goes wrong then honestly assess why and make adjustments and changes until you find what works, If what works stops working then again honestly look at why and change what needs changing.

Edit
PS . I have had nasty little ****** be rude to me in street and it is very upsetting but it really does say more about them than me. They know nothing about me. It is so unfair to be treated with such cruelty but honestly I believe they are worse off than I am. As someone else said I always wear earphones with my music playing to distract myself. I also try to avoid places and times that i have found most likely to get trouble. I never go walking on Friday or Saturday evenings as that tends to be when drunk abusive people are out terrorising the innocent.

phyllb

Good luck Hun. You can do it. Being here is a great first step. Make sure you have a good quality pair of shoes , as the weight goes down the pain should improve
You are worth it.

keelybird57

I'm just starting out, too. I have 100# to go. I walk some. When I do, nordic poles help keep my knees from hurting. Swimming is my preferred exercise. Talk about embarrassing! 250+ pounds in a bathing suit! But it is easiest on my joints and I get great results! I know that as long as I track, I'll lose. Good luck! Count me as a friend.....you'll be my first.

Leenda62

Log all that you eat and drink on your MFP diary. Get some good supportive friends on MFP and make sure that you support them also as it is a two way thing, You will be surprised how motivated that make you when someone gives you positive feed back. Have an open diary so that your friends can help you with food choices and and alternatives. It takes a little while to get used to the site but if you have friends on here they will help you out. You have come to the right place for one it is free and very supportive the best things to get you started

very good luck

Carol

I could not agree more about the supportive friends. All of my real people friends I have a history of eating and laying around watching TV with. My MFP friends are fresh and have similar issues and goals. Very motivating. Any one feel free to add me.

Leenda62

I was 107 lbs overweight when I started. I have lost 27 pounds, (20 on MFP) It has been SLOW but I am still 27 pounds lighter than I would have been if I had given up because it was taking to long. I have an artificial, hip, arthritis, and fibromyalgia so I have joint pain as well. I had to learn that I could not shield myself from the pain. I was going to hurt regardless of whether I was working at my goal or sitting on my *kitten* on the couch. I found that even though I still have plenty of pain at least now I feel stronger. More unstoppable and more like an athlete. I thought I could do this without exercise but just could not. Keep adding a little bit at a time. It is a feeling that builds on itself. And the eating habits kind of go hand in hand with that for me.

I agree with these other people. LOG EVERY THING! It will help and keep you from being in denial. It is an eye opener as well. I have found for me a diet where I do not eat any sugar or really any grains helped because it keep me full longer, and crave less. Plus it seems to help the pain (some, it is not a miracle cure, I was hoping to feel 20 again). That works for me but a lot of people are different. Don't expect it to happen right away. Any progress is good progress even if it is just better eating habits and exercise habits. Best of luck to you.

Aishteru85

Feel free to add me... I started last year and have never looked back since... i still have a lot to lose..so lets motivate each other!

emcdonie

I am also morbidly obese, anyone may feel free to add me if they wish.

supplemama

go to youtube, look up Leslie Sansone: one mile walk, 2 mile walk,3 mile walk, etc. She only walks with some extra cardio thrown and it works and you do not have to use a gym, works for me....

Yep! I swear by Leslie, her walks are easy to follow, and they work!

jessiedee28

My biggest advice, please don't let being scared that people will poke fun at you hinder your progress. When i first started going to the gym i was scared i would get laughed at but then quickly realized people are there for the same reason you are, to lose weight. I realize you may not be going to a gym and will be out in public but seriously forget everyone else, you are doing this for you and you alone. I've lost 80 pounds and my life has become better because of it, you can do it too. Please keep us posted on your progress and good luck!

jctackett

Here's some advice from someone who was in your position:

1) Log Accurately. Even if you don't log it, your body still knows you ate it.

2) It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and it'll disappear.

3) If you fail on one day, write it off, get back on the wagon tomorrow. Don't do the whole "well this whole week is a write off"

4) Find things you like that are within your calories goals and it makes it much easier.

5) There is no shame in walking being your only form of exercise. Took me months before I was comfortable running and even now I have to wear an ankle brace because of the pressure my weight put on my joints.

Good luck.

That's an awesome post, man.

spikrgrl503

I am starting by walking, flat walks first so that it doesn't strain on my hips as much, as well as the food intake.
I am scared.. does that make sense? I am scared people with poke fun at me, I am scared that I am so used to the person that I am that I will not like the person whom I am going to change into....

Maybe it's because I'm a decent human being, but when I'm out running I barely notice the other people around. And when I do notice, it's "Wow look how many people are out exercising today, we are awesome"

I'm not saying your feelings are silly, but people are so absorbed in themselves that they arent going to notice you. You do you!

oedipa_maas

I am starting by walking, flat walks first so that it doesn't strain on my hips as much, as well as the food intake.
I am scared.. does that make sense? I am scared people with poke fun at me, I am scared that I am so used to the person that I am that I will not like the person whom I am going to change into....

I relate to being afraid so much. My biggest fear is that I will succeed, only to fail again, using that humiliation to push myself further down until I'm back where I started and then some.

Fear is one of the hardest emotions to wrangle, but honestly, a good first step is acknowledging it at all. So you are on your way! For many people, change brings fear. Even good change can stir up all kinds of anxieties, with the sad effect sometimes of keeping us under our own boot.

It's okay to be afraid, I tell myself. Do it anyway. There are ways to work with stress and fear, mindfulness techniques, radical self acceptance but with an eye to a better future

Many many good thoughts to you!

TheSatinPumpkin

Take it one day at a time and focus on you. soak up as much as you can here and other nutrition/fitness/WOE forums you maybe on.

MKEgal

The good news:

"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake.
However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html

So start where you are, get control of your eating, know what your healthy goal weight is, learn healthy portions.
If all you can do right now is walk 5 minutes, then walk 5 minutes. Do it again this afternoon. And again this evening.
Same thing tomorrow.
In a few weeks, make it 6 minutes. Then 7. You get the idea.

Here's a BMI chart (in English) that will help you find a healthy goal weight.
http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf
For now, aim for the top of the green range. Once you get there, you can decide if you want to drop a little more or stay where you are.
Take that weight x 10 to get goal calories. It's likely to be a lot less than what you're currently eating, so take your current weight x 10 & subtract 1000 to lose 2 lb per week. Readjust when you lose 10 lb or hit a plateau, 'til you're at your goal calories.

Here's a calculator (that uses English or metric) that will tell you how many servings of various food groups you need to maintain a certain weight & activity level. Put in the healthy goal weight you got above & you're set.
https://www.bcm.edu/research/centers/childrens-nutrition-research-center/healthyeatingcalculator/eatingCal.html

MKEgal

I have lost 5 stone since Christmas last year, by restricting Calorie intake to 1200 a day
... set yourself a target of around 1500 a day for a woman

If you're very short, 1200 was reasonable. For most people, it's not enough.
Telling her she should eat 1500 isn't right, since we don't know how tall she is & so can't know what a healthy goal weight is for her height. (Same for anyone.)

WhatMeRunning

Feel free to add me.

I started out morbidly obese, but I did not quite have exactly half of my total weight to lose. I did have 136 pounds to lose, though, not a small number.

For me personally, the weight started coming off when I started getting my blood sugars in line and limiting my carbs down to a pretty restrictive number (I was told by my doctor to limit to 120g total carbs per day). I needed that start to get the ball rolling. I still limit my carbs down to a low number and am still losing.

I too was stiff, sore, had joint issues, among other issues that really got in the way of life. I'm not saying this is a plan of action, but simply how my path went in that I first lost about 30 pounds and people started to notice and compliment me. I was then able to move a bit better and started walking. Only about 20 minutes at first, not intending to push myself because I was honestly worried about my knees (past knee injury plus weight equals always worrying about my knee). Over the next couple months I lost even more weight, gained more flexibility and endurance and was eventually walking for an hour or more. This eventually peaked about 6 months into my weight loss journey where I was walking for almost 90 minutes and I simply could not afford more time out of my day to increase the distance I walked. I felt I had lost enough eight and felt sturdy enough on my knees to actually try jogging for a few bursts during my walk, and then walk off and catch my breath the rest of the way. Again, over time, these bursts of running grew until now I am considering my jaunts as runs instead of walks because I am running as far, or further even than walking.

Best of luck, and just keep on trying. If you have any setbacks, don't let it get you down and just pick yourself up and keep on going.

Zerodette

I'm sending a friend request, and anybody who reads this can feel free to add me. I've got 150lbs to lose.

PurrlyGirl

Hey there, feel free to add me (this goes for anyone reading this - I could always use more friends and support!). I'm starting from 320, down to 300 right now, aiming for 180. My food diary is visible to friends, and since I started logging, I've logged every day.

I don't do gyms either, just don't have the time/money/childcare to make it happen. But I fit in movement throughout my day whenever possible (my kids crack up at my dances in the kitchen while cooking - I tell them it makes the food cook better :laugh: ) and stick to my calorie budget. So far so good! As you lose weight it gets easier to move, too. I've got spinal nerve damage which affects movement in one of my legs, so I know limitations can make this even more of an uphill climb, but we've all got challenges and obstacles and just have to work with what we got. There's people in wheelchairs much fitter than I am, so I can't let that be an excuse anymore.

xael1234

I had very little mobility when I started. I stopped a few medicines I was on with the dr ok, bought golds gym bike pedal machine. Idk what it's called but it's 20$ or table and can just sit in chair or couch and pedal. When I started I got winded after pedaling 4 times. Not 4 minutes 4 ROTATIONS!! It's been a little over a month and I'm up to 8 minutes twice a day plus now walking. I'm not good at walking very far but I sit down rest and keep going with what I know my limitations are. I hurt like hell the first 2 weeks to where I just wanted to cry or die but I pushed through it, have lost 19 lbs so far and am feeling so much better. You can do it, I realized I had to fix a lot of things inside me that caused me to over eat to begin with. God and counselling and family support has been my strength. Don't give up and anytime you need to talk or encouragement or a friend I'm here

xael1234

And I started from 452 not at 433. I have a lot more to lose but I will do it.

xael1234

Now at 433 not not

cookeylady

I will support you i have 140 pounds to lose and find walking difficult and exercise. I am 4"11 and my weight feels like it crushes me. Add me and we shall be lifestyle change buddies.:)

staceysforster

hi everyone!

I have been out for the afternoon and have come back to all your messages and I am sat here overwhelmed at the support and the messages which people and you all have sent and I wish to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to give me advice and message me.

I walked for around 90 minutes round a village today at a scarecrow festival with the children, I am feeling it now though! Once I am up and moving I tend to be ok, its once I have sat down afterwards I can feel the pain in my hips.

I have made lunch for tomorrow and about to prepare healthy snacks, have breakfast all sorted too so that I don't feel tempted to buy from the nasty canteen.

I have set up a page on Facebook too called New Body under construction (https://www.facebook.com/newbodyuc) which I am using to chat to people and generally report to them instead of a weight loss group or anything. Feel free to like x

I really appreciate all of the messages, will keep you up to date of everything.

I am going to look at the Leslie Sansome things on YouTube too.

tiggerGlasgow

Been there. I'm in the process of shifting it. I was over 22st myself I'm now just a little over 15st. Here's what I did

1) The first thing I did was take up strength training about two years ago before I even started counting calories. Nutrition is the most important part of weight loss, but strength training will help, a lot. If you can increase your lean muscle mass, you're boosting your metabolism and thus meaning you can lose weight on more calories than if you didn't strength train which makes the whole weight loss process less painful.

2) I decided not to not put any food on the banned list. I can eat anything I want when I chose to do so as long as it fits into my calorie budget. It means I'm less likely to obsess over that bit of chocolate or that slice of pizza. I also replaced "I can't eat that" with "I choose not to eat that" the mind-set shift makes a big difference, I frequently turn things down with, "Sorry that's not on my calorie budget for today

3) I plan treats, I log those first when they're planned and work the rest of my day around that in terms of what I eat when. Planning treats again allows you not to feel deprived and thus less likely to fall off of the wagon.

4) I realised that there would be days where I would fall off of the wagon, the important thing is not to think that because I've had an extra bit of cake or a pizza when I'd planned chicken doesn't mean that I'm a failure or that I might as well just got totally overboard. Falling off of the wagon is inevitable, realise that you WILL do it, but as long as you get right back on it again it DOESN'T need to be a disaster.

5) Plan the occasional day of eating at maintenance calorie level. One or two a month at the points of the month where you feel you most need them.

6) Remember it is a marathon not a sprint, aim for slow steady weight loss rather than rapid unsustainable loss.

7) Remember you're awesome and you can do this.

FindingAmy77

all the advice on here seems sound. I would like to add to take it one choice, one meal and one day at a time.

shortnsassy1981

The good news:

"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake.
However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html

So start where you are, get control of your eating, know what your healthy goal weight is, learn healthy portions.
If all you can do right now is walk 5 minutes, then walk 5 minutes. Do it again this afternoon. And again this evening.
Same thing tomorrow.
In a few weeks, make it 6 minutes. Then 7. You get the idea.

Here's a BMI chart (in English) that will help you find a healthy goal weight.
http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf
For now, aim for the top of the green range. Once you get there, you can decide if you want to drop a little more or stay where you are.
Take that weight x 10 to get goal calories. It's likely to be a lot less than what you're currently eating, so take your current weight x 10 & subtract 1000 to lose 2 lb per week. Readjust when you lose 10 lb or hit a plateau, 'til you're at your goal calories.

Here's a calculator (that uses English or metric) that will tell you how many servings of various food groups you need to maintain a certain weight & activity level. Put in the healthy goal weight you got above & you're set.
https://www.bcm.edu/research/centers/childrens-nutrition-research-center/healthyeatingcalculator/eatingCal.html

Ummmm no thanks on that method for calories. I weigh 208 which would be 2080 minus 1000 calories which would put me at 1080 a day which is under the MINIMUM 1200 recommended by any nutritionist. Also, my goal weight is 115, which would put my goal calories at 1150. I'm sorry but that is ridiculous. I currently eat around 1800 calories a day and I lose 1-2 lbs a week. There is no reason to starve yourself.

mjean1229

I am starting by walking, flat walks first so that it doesn't strain on my hips as much, as well as the food intake.
I am scared.. does that make sense? I am scared people with poke fun at me, I am scared that I am so used to the person that I am that I will not like the person whom I am going to change into....

I had (and still have) those same worries that people see me walking and poke fun, or think "too late"... but it's not too late! And I walk the same path in hopes that IF people were poking fun, they see the progress! You can do this, and don't let your worry get the best of you!!!

believefsc

Stacey,

I'm so thrilled to see your post. I, too, am looking for support and 'friends' on MyFitnessPal. I have half my weight to lose as well so we're in the same boat. I cannot start exercising yet as my knees and feet can't handle my weight at this point. I've also been diagnosed with several obesity-related medical conditions over the last year. I HAVE to do something. I'm only 44 years old and I live like I'm 80!

I have just started the 17-Day Diet for the second time in 12 months and find it works very well for me, when I follow it. I'm one week in this time and have lost 7.5 pounds. I don't know how that compares to your weight-scale over there but it translates to 3% of my starting body weight. I like to compare my loss in percentages.

Please add me as a friend and let's get busy supporting and encouraging each other through this very difficult life change.

Dana

Raclex

Just so you know, this is what goes through my head when I see someone (overweight or not) working out:

.-Good for you-.

Rest assured that not everyone judges and the ones that do, because there are always a few, well, they do so because they're miserable themselves and must put others down to feel better. These people will be around no matter what the situation, whether it has to do with weight, job, hair color, spouse, car, activities, hobbies, etc, etc, etc... So to those people, &?%$/*&? off!

staceysforster

Thanks you all for your support, have lost 5lbs this week and have been some walking, although at the moment my back and hips are sore so taking a day off from walking today, but will be remaining under the calorie goal for today:)