Husbands! Need your advice!
Replies
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What kind of exercise does he do? I would think there would be a point of getting him an HRM only if he does steady state cardio (no HIIT, no weights)...0
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I don't know your husband, so I don't know how he'd receive a fitbit.
However, I'd like to suggest taking a step back. From your post, it looks like you are owning both the problem and the solution. A better role for you to play is helping him define his problem.
Is he getting results or not getting results?
If he is getting results and not noticing them, a fitbit would not be a solution - progress pictures might be. Tracking measurements might be. There are suggestions you could make and let him figure out what will work for addressing them.
If he's not getting results:
- What results does he want?
- What is his strategy?
- Is it likely to give him those results?
- Is he giving himself a reasonable timeline for getting those results?
A fitbit may or may not be helpful based on his goals and strategy. However, you can provide information and feedback based on his goals and strategy that might help him find a good solution to his issue.
Who knows? Maybe cutting 300 calories a day is appropriate for him? He's the one that needs to decide that.
yes yes and.. umm. no ish?
lol
ty for all the wonderful advice.
yes 300 cals is good to cut if you are looking at how many calories you are burning in a day and subtracting 300-500 cals from that in a day. I agree 100%
The problem is he is prob. cutting 1000 cal extra a day than he should be.
He is eating as much as his wife is who is eating around 1200-1500 a day (depending on my level of workout) I'm a foot shorter and my BMI is much less than his currently.
No man much bigger than me doing just as much working out should be eating the same amount as me
the math just doesn't add up.
I don't think he is seeing the math properly. He just sees the scale right now
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What kind of exercise does he do? I would think there would be a point of getting him an HRM only if he does steady state cardio (no HIIT, no weights)...
He is doing the Supreme 90 ( a lot like the P90X ) so high cardio with weights. He pushes himself to the limits while doing it. Next week he will be adding running 2-3 times a week and working up to 3-5 times a week.
He is always moving with his daughters. Walking the dogs.0 -
To be honest, I think you should let him be an adult and let him do this on his own. So he needs help? If he wants, he should come on here, be completely honest, and figure it out. There are a lot of individuals out there, myself being one of them, that don't listen very well to others' advice until I figure out the solution on my own. If he wants a fitbit to help himself along the journey, he should express to you the desire to get him one or else get it himself.0
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If he's eating too few calories, he will be losing weight. If he's not losing, it's because he's not burning more than he's consuming. Eating more won't make him lose more weight...
100% Agree with above -- the problem is not too few calories. I lost almost 60lbs eating no more around 1,500 cal per day - I am 6'2" and was over 250lbs. Nothing bad happened to me - it can be done. Also I did not eat clean by any means other than I gave up soda. Short of that I ate whatever I wanted but I logged it and kept calories in check.
I think you need to look at other aspects to find the root problem.
I do hope you find it and think its great you want to help him.0 -
To be honest, I think you should let him be an adult and let him do this on his own. So he needs help? If he wants, he should come on here, be completely honest, and figure it out. There are a lot of individuals out there, myself being one of them, that don't listen very well to others' advice until I figure out the solution on my own. If he wants a fitbit to help himself along the journey, he should express to you the desire to get him one or else get it himself.
It's just not him.
He doesn't come on forums. He doesn't buy that kind of stuff. I got the p90x and our current weights ( I need heavier ones again ) and I got his stability ball. It's just not him. and that's ok
He wouldn't even know about the bodymedia .. he doesn't research stuff like that.. and that's ok .. we are all different.
all of us on here are somewhat the same. We use social forums to help us figure out what to do. Lots of people on MFP just don't, and that ok.
Thank you for your advice 0 -
I'm eating 1300-1500 calories a day and I'm 5'5" and a female. Men can eat a lot more calories and still lose weight. Talk to a dietician or a nutritionist and see how many calories they recommend. Instead of buying an activity tracker, just have him join MFP. That way he can see how many calories he's burning and that he can eat more and still lose weight. If you eat too few calories, your metabolism slows down to try and compensate because your body thinks you are starving it.
I don't have a smart phone, but I just record on my computer.0 -
If he's eating too few calories, he will be losing weight. If he's not losing, it's because he's not burning more than he's consuming. Eating more won't make him lose more weight...
100% Agree with above -- the problem is not too few calories. I lost almost 60lbs eating no more around 1,500 cal per day - I am 6'2" and was over 250lbs. Nothing bad happened to me - it can be done. Also I did not eat clean by any means other than I gave up soda. Short of that I ate whatever I wanted but I logged it and kept calories in check.
I think you need to look at other aspects to find the root problem.
I do hope you find it and think its great you want to help him.
EXACTLY!
hence why I want to buy him a bodybugg/bodymedia! I want to figure out why this isn't happening to him!
If we can more accurately see what he is burning in a day, we can more accurately figure out a better plan for him IMO.0 -
If he's eating too few calories, he will be losing weight. If he's not losing, it's because he's not burning more than he's consuming. Eating more won't make him lose more weight...
100% Agree with above -- the problem is not too few calories. I lost almost 60lbs eating no more around 1,500 cal per day - I am 6'2" and was over 250lbs. Nothing bad happened to me - it can be done. Also I did not eat clean by any means other than I gave up soda. Short of that I ate whatever I wanted but I logged it and kept calories in check.
I think you need to look at other aspects to find the root problem.
I do hope you find it and think its great you want to help him.
EXACTLY!
hence why I want to buy him a bodybugg/bodymedia! I want to figure out why this isn't happening to him!
If we can more accurately see what he is burning in a day, we can more accurately figure out a better plan for him IMO.
Because he needs to figure it out, someone else should not be doing it for him. If he wants to lose the weight, then he'll invest the time and effort to see what's wrong.0 -
I'm eating 1300-1500 calories a day and I'm 5'5" and a female. Men can eat a lot more calories and still lose weight. Talk to a dietician or a nutritionist and see how many calories they recommend. Instead of buying an activity tracker, just have him join MFP. That way he can see how many calories he's burning and that he can eat more and still lose weight. If you eat too few calories, your metabolism slows down to try and compensate because your body thinks you are starving it.
I don't have a smart phone, but I just record on my computer.
He logs everything meticulously on MFP currently. Hence why I know exactly how many calories he usually eats. he eats the same as you currently do ( many days less!!!!! ) and he does a system similar to P90X, 5 times a week. He is fully into this which is why I know he isn't "cheating" with eating. He would log it. It's just who he is.0 -
If he's eating too few calories, he will be losing weight. If he's not losing, it's because he's not burning more than he's consuming. Eating more won't make him lose more weight...
100% Agree with above -- the problem is not too few calories. I lost almost 60lbs eating no more around 1,500 cal per day - I am 6'2" and was over 250lbs. Nothing bad happened to me - it can be done. Also I did not eat clean by any means other than I gave up soda. Short of that I ate whatever I wanted but I logged it and kept calories in check.
I think you need to look at other aspects to find the root problem.
I do hope you find it and think its great you want to help him.
EXACTLY!
hence why I want to buy him a bodybugg/bodymedia! I want to figure out why this isn't happening to him!
If we can more accurately see what he is burning in a day, we can more accurately figure out a better plan for him IMO.
Because he needs to figure it out, someone else should not be doing it for him. If he wants to lose the weight, then he'll invest the time and effort to see what's wrong.
I get that. and ty for your advice.
But the only thing he is seeing is " must work harder and eat less".
It's a recipe for disaster and I'm NOT just going to sit there. even adults do silly things when they get stuck with numbers (scales).
Even a complete stranger I would offer my advice ( like we do on here often ).. so for sure my wonderful husband I will go one step further and purchase something I think he might benefit from.0 -
What is his NEAT? He's probably a lot more sedentary than you are. There's also probably some miscalculation somewhere, probably in how much he's consuming. Does he drink anything?
As for the gift, that's up to you. Mine would more than likely be irritated that I spent the money on a gadget. He had a running watch, and after a couple months, he hated it and found it irritating.
Also, it's only been a month. He might be retaining water or have a normal water weight fluctuation. Give it more than a month.0 -
** update update update **
THANK YOU TO ALL THE GUYS THAT SAID TO JUST ASK HIM!!
I told him about this thread and he laughed at me.
He loves the idea! AND he thinks I'm super awesome for thinking so much about him :blushing: yay wife browny points!!!
I told him my concerns and he is willing to test this all out and see if he is really not eating enough and that he will look at upping his calories if it is worrying me this much! ( that I'm going on a social forum with my concerns ).
He said he would have been fine if I would have just gotten it also. He thinks I'm crazy. But he already knows I am :P
He is also open to us measuring ourselves! He is in a super optimistic mood right now ( yay! ) and is willing to try whatever it takes to get the results he wants!
MANY MANY MANY HUGE THANK YOUS for all your help and advice!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
To be honest, I think you should let him be an adult and let him do this on his own. So he needs help? If he wants, he should come on here, be completely honest, and figure it out. There are a lot of individuals out there, myself being one of them, that don't listen very well to others' advice until I figure out the solution on my own. If he wants a fitbit to help himself along the journey, he should express to you the desire to get him one or else get it himself.
It's just not him.
He doesn't come on forums. He doesn't buy that kind of stuff. I got the p90x and our current weights ( I need heavier ones again ) and I got his stability ball. It's just not him. and that's ok He wouldn't even know about the bodymedia .. he doesn't research stuff like that.. and that's ok .. we are all different.
all of us on here are somewhat the same. We use social forums to help us figure out what to do. Lots of people on MFP just don't, and that ok.
Thank you for your advice
If he's not taking your advice right now, why do you think he'll take your advice once he sees his calorie burn on a gadget?0 -
To be honest, I think you should let him be an adult and let him do this on his own. So he needs help? If he wants, he should come on here, be completely honest, and figure it out. There are a lot of individuals out there, myself being one of them, that don't listen very well to others' advice until I figure out the solution on my own. If he wants a fitbit to help himself along the journey, he should express to you the desire to get him one or else get it himself.
It's just not him.
He doesn't come on forums. He doesn't buy that kind of stuff. I got the p90x and our current weights ( I need heavier ones again ) and I got his stability ball. It's just not him. and that's ok He wouldn't even know about the bodymedia .. he doesn't research stuff like that.. and that's ok .. we are all different.
all of us on here are somewhat the same. We use social forums to help us figure out what to do. Lots of people on MFP just don't, and that ok.
Thank you for your advice
If he's not taking your advice right now, why do you think he'll take your advice once he sees his calorie burn on a gadget?
He is read my update
He was so stuck on that bloody scale and had blinders on!.. so many people get stuck like that. I'm just so thrilled right now lol.0 -
I don't know your husband, so I don't know how he'd receive a fitbit.
However, I'd like to suggest taking a step back. From your post, it looks like you are owning both the problem and the solution. A better role for you to play is helping him define his problem.
Is he getting results or not getting results?
If he is getting results and not noticing them, a fitbit would not be a solution - progress pictures might be. Tracking measurements might be. There are suggestions you could make and let him figure out what will work for addressing them.
If he's not getting results:
- What results does he want?
- What is his strategy?
- Is it likely to give him those results?
- Is he giving himself a reasonable timeline for getting those results?
A fitbit may or may not be helpful based on his goals and strategy. However, you can provide information and feedback based on his goals and strategy that might help him find a good solution to his issue.
Who knows? Maybe cutting 300 calories a day is appropriate for him? He's the one that needs to decide that.
yes yes and.. umm. no ish?
lol
ty for all the wonderful advice.
yes 300 cals is good to cut if you are looking at how many calories you are burning in a day and subtracting 300-500 cals from that in a day. I agree 100%
The problem is he is prob. cutting 1000 cal extra a day than he should be.
He is eating as much as his wife is who is eating around 1200-1500 a day (depending on my level of workout) I'm a foot shorter and my BMI is much less than his currently.
No man much bigger than me doing just as much working out should be eating the same amount as me the math just doesn't add up.
I don't think he is seeing the math properly. He just sees the scale right now
I like that you asked him and kudos to you for helping him see the bigger picture. You are right that people can get blinkers on.
It's a fine line between being a concerned spouse and pushing your own POV. Good for you for walking that line well.0 -
I don't know your husband, so I don't know how he'd receive a fitbit.
However, I'd like to suggest taking a step back. From your post, it looks like you are owning both the problem and the solution. A better role for you to play is helping him define his problem.
Is he getting results or not getting results?
If he is getting results and not noticing them, a fitbit would not be a solution - progress pictures might be. Tracking measurements might be. There are suggestions you could make and let him figure out what will work for addressing them.
If he's not getting results:
- What results does he want?
- What is his strategy?
- Is it likely to give him those results?
- Is he giving himself a reasonable timeline for getting those results?
A fitbit may or may not be helpful based on his goals and strategy. However, you can provide information and feedback based on his goals and strategy that might help him find a good solution to his issue.
Who knows? Maybe cutting 300 calories a day is appropriate for him? He's the one that needs to decide that.
yes yes and.. umm. no ish?
lol
ty for all the wonderful advice.
yes 300 cals is good to cut if you are looking at how many calories you are burning in a day and subtracting 300-500 cals from that in a day. I agree 100%
The problem is he is prob. cutting 1000 cal extra a day than he should be.
He is eating as much as his wife is who is eating around 1200-1500 a day (depending on my level of workout) I'm a foot shorter and my BMI is much less than his currently.
No man much bigger than me doing just as much working out should be eating the same amount as me the math just doesn't add up.
I don't think he is seeing the math properly. He just sees the scale right now
I like that you asked him and kudos to you for helping him see the bigger picture. You are right that people can get blinkers on.
It's a fine line between being a concerned spouse and pushing your own POV. Good for you for walking that line well.
Trying!
I'm lucky though that I have a husband that KNOWS that I only do things because I love him. If I start seeming to be "pushy" he usually just laughs and at me :P
I just want the best for him. He is so amazing to me that I want to be just as amazing back to (for) him. 0
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