Need Support that I'm Not Being Selfish

JessicaJVRadcliffe
JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone, I am an infrequent poster here, but I would love a little support for a decision I have recently made. I am a Stay at Home Mom to 4 wonderful kids ages 5, 3, 3, and 20 months. My highest weight after my 3 y/o twins were born was 168. I was in the midst of working hard to get back in shape, and had lost about 23 pounds when I found out I was very unexpectedly pregnant with our 4th. Since he was born, I have gotten down to 129 labs. At any rate, with inflating and deflating, and breast feeding, my breasts really went through some abuse. They are not pretty to look at, and they're completely deflated. So, my wonderful husband and I decided that a breast lift and augmentation was the way to go. My surgery is scheduled for Sept. 24th, but I am having immense anxiety, not about the surgery not turning out right, but that I am being selfish in doing something so significant for myself. My husband is very supportive, and tells me I deserve it. I thought a little outside encouragement might be helpful. I have only told my mom, sister, and 2 close friends for fear of being judged.
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Replies

  • meemo88
    meemo88 Posts: 436 Member
    go get those deflated balloons some air lol :laugh:
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    if your family is pinching pennies then its probably a little selfish, if not then not, but we dont have enough info to make or break this decision for you. its up to you, do what you want

    boobs are awesome tho so theres that
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    With 4 kids we're always pinching a little, but the majority of our money goes to them. We found a way to make it happen without changing much, so finances weren't an issue.
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
    Is it a little bit selfish? Sure it is. Why is that a bad thing? If it makes you feel better, your family is supportive and it's not something that will be a financial detriment, then go for it. And post pics. :flowerforyou:
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    go get those deflated balloons some air lol :laugh:

    Right? Haha! Thanks!
  • Katy009
    Katy009 Posts: 579 Member
    hardly selfish at all. doing something for yourself to make yourself feel good is necessary!
  • AlyssaJoJo
    AlyssaJoJo Posts: 449 Member
    There's nothing wrong with being selfish here and there. Even more when it won't harm anyone else. I know plenty of mamas who have naturally fed their babies that have gotten one or really wish they could! You're not alone - do what you feel you need to do!
  • sseqwnp
    sseqwnp Posts: 327 Member
    I think it would be selfish *not* to do this ...
  • ASH2038602
    ASH2038602 Posts: 215 Member
    I agree with the others. I am a stay at home mom to my 6 year old, and sometimes I just need to do something to feel good about myself. If it's affordable to you, and your husband is on board, I say go for it!
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    Moms are allowed to be a little selish every now and then. happy Mom = happy family.
    And I am SUPER jealous. Currently breastfeeding and I know I'll be so sad when I stop and lose my new, p0rn star boobs. lol.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    If Momma aint happy, nobody is happy!!:smile:

    After my two kids my breasts weren't deflated, they were large but incredibly saggy so I had breast reduction done. That was nearly 15 years ago and they still look great. Even after losing over 50lbs this year, they're still sittting right where they should be!
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    If Momma aint happy, nobody is happy!!:smile:

    After my two kids my breasts weren't deflated, they were large but incredibly saggy so I had breast reduction done. That was nearly 15 years ago and they still look great. Even after losing over 50lbs this year, they're still sittng right where they should be!
  • bainsworth1a
    bainsworth1a Posts: 313 Member
    You deserve to do something for yourself. I say go for it especially if it is not taking away from your other financial responsibilities.:wink:
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    I had a tummy tuck three months ago and I felt the same way beforehand, but it was sooooooooo worth it.

    You've brought four little people into this world. You deserve something for you (and hubby, too :wink: .) It's okay to be good to yourself like this every once in a while. And it's not selfish to want to feel your best. Trust me, everyone will benefit from your increased confidence.

    Best of luck with the surgery and your recovery!
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    I will be doing the same thine once I get to a body composition I am happy with. It is a bit selfish, but will improve my self image which will make for a happier momma. A happier momma has more to give to her kids and husband. If it isn't gonna take any essentials away from your family, and is something you truly want, I see no problem with it. You have given soo much to your family, there is no reason why the family can't help give something back to you.
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    Thanks everyone for the kind words! Just what I needed to hear! To Deluxmary: I seriously considered continuing to pump and donate my milk when my youngest was done nursing to keep them nice! It would be a win/win for me and whoever needed it. But alas, my body stopped producing, I guess it "knew" it wasn't really needed for baby anymore.
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    I will be doing the same thine once I get to a body composition I am happy with. It is a bit selfish, but will improve my self image which will make for a happier momma. A happier momma has more to give to her kids and husband. If it isn't gonna take any essentials away from your family, and is something you truly want, I see no problem with it. You have given soo much to your family, there is no reason why the family can't help give something back to you.

    Glad to know I'm not alone here! Good luck to you!!!!
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    I had a tummy tuck three months ago and I felt the same way beforehand, but it was sooooooooo worth it.

    You've brought four little people into this world. You deserve something for you (and hubby, too :wink: .) It's okay to be good to yourself like this every once in a while. And it's not selfish to want to feel your best. Trust me, everyone will benefit from your increased confidence.

    Best of luck with the surgery and your recovery!

    Good for you! How has your recovery been? Are you noticing a difference in your confidence?
  • big_soul
    big_soul Posts: 13
    Late to the game but wanted to chime in to agree! Sure, it's a little selfish - AND THAT'S OKAY!! We so often forget to do things for ourselves, and this sounds like something you will really be happy with. You deserve it, mom! That body brought a bunch of beautiful babies into the world, no reason not to want to change it up a little. So glad to hear your husband is supportive! Lean on that and be excited for the gift you're giving yourself. :) Best of luck to you
  • vegkitten
    vegkitten Posts: 106 Member
    Absolutely do it! You're worth it! I'm sure you're a wonderful mom to all your children. Treat yourself. :)
  • IsaCaliBel
    IsaCaliBel Posts: 99 Member
    I say YES!!!
    Us Mom's need all the help we can get, lol.
    If doesn't effect your family in any negative way, then why not?!?


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  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    It sounds like your husband is down for it. Where does the selfishness come in? I promise he wants them just as much as you do.
  • MYhealthyjourney70
    MYhealthyjourney70 Posts: 276 Member
    go for it.... who cares what people think.. you have the support of the most important person...
  • He1loKitty
    He1loKitty Posts: 212 Member
    Don't feel bad about doing something that will make you feel better about yourself! I had lasik surgery three years ago, totally unnecessary but one of the best decisions I've made. I've had moles removed (gross I know, sorry but it's relevant!) just because I thought they looked ugly. I feel so much better about my appearance now that they're gone. You'll feel worse if you don't do it. Good luck!
  • Squamation
    Squamation Posts: 522 Member
    Yes it's being selfish: and that's OK.

    I had always been an uneven B cup (except for the last few months with my first pregnancy where I ended with a C), and after my 2nd son was done breast feeding I was a saggy even more uneven B cup.

    I didn't end up needing a lift, but I did get an augmentation and while I felt a little guilty spending the money it wasn't putting us in financial stress so I went ahead with it.

    For me it was a great decision. My advice is really work with your doctor post surgery about when it's OK to do chest exercises again. Also - I knew but my husband didn't that they won't look "good" right away. It takes 6-9 months for them to start looking truly normal and you have to wait about a year before they completely "settle". He was disappointed at first but is very happy now. :)


    Good luck!
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    go for it.... who cares what people think.. you have the support of the most important person...


    Thank you! Yes, he is the most important person!
  • Tammy_1971
    Tammy_1971 Posts: 93 Member
    YOU had 4 babies... YOU stay at home with them... YOU love and nuture them... YOU take care of the hubby.... Sounds to me like it is time for you to do something for yourself. Go For It!! :bigsmile:
  • JessicaJVRadcliffe
    JessicaJVRadcliffe Posts: 201 Member
    Yes it's being selfish: and that's OK.

    I had always been an uneven B cup (except for the last few months with my first pregnancy where I ended with a C), and after my 2nd son was done breast feeding I was a saggy even more uneven B cup.

    I didn't end up needing a lift, but I did get an augmentation and while I felt a little guilty spending the money it wasn't putting us in financial stress so I went ahead with it.

    For me it was a great decision. My advice is really work with your doctor post surgery about when it's OK to do chest exercises again. Also - I knew but my husband didn't that they won't look "good" right away. It takes 6-9 months for them to start looking truly normal and you have to wait about a year before they completely "settle". He was disappointed at first but is very happy now. :)


    Good luck!

    Thanks for the advice all around. It actually sounds like we have kind of the same issue, I am also uneven. I realize it'll take a while for them to be normal, and so does my husband (we've looked at a ton of before and after pictures). That is why I am doing it now, well before next summer and bathing suit/ sun dress season again. Are you able to do push-UPS, etch?
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    this is really none of our business, but since you asked, if it helps your self esteem and doesn't take away from the finances and your husband supports this, go get them done! Do not feel guilty.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    If Momma aint happy, nobody is happy!!:smile:

    After my two kids my breasts weren't deflated, they were large but incredibly saggy so I had breast reduction done. That was nearly 15 years ago and they still look great. Even after losing over 50lbs this year, they're still sittting right where they should be!

    Man, mine got smaller with each pregnancy. I'm afraid if I have one more baby I'll be back in a training bra.

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