Weight loss affecting relationship???

Fuzzipeg

People who control are devious. This is a form of abuse. They only have their own interests at heart and they will make you think what they are doing is not abusive. You can see bruises, though in the worst cases they are kept to areas where they can be prevented from showing. You are becoming emotional bruised this takes longer to recover from and may get in the way of even the most supportive of friendships at some far distant later time.

You gave him the opportunity to take the moral high ground, by giving him the opportunity to be in the young child's life. How does he repay you............................

I question how you regard weight loss, is it weight loss for weight loss sake, or do you have a sub text? I want to be healthy, to be there for my children. I want to be healthy to take part in those children's activities to play foot ball or take them hiking when they are older what ever. I want to be healthy so I will be in the best shape I can be to be there for them even when they are my own age? I want to avoid, diabetes, bronchitis, kidney problems (for instance) and this is the best I can do for me, for them and I am committed.

I once saw my life as a pendulum which would swing, If the pendulum was straight down things were sort of ok, were it ahead of this wonderful, heaven forbid it fell back below for protracted periods of time, when it did, it was get out time for me. The best timing for this unfortunately is when the children are younger. They absorb less of the humiliation, they do not take on the abuse too. You do not need your children to carry their wounds well into middle age, or do you? There is never any easy option.

Long life and plenty of happiness to you all

catb58

First, make up your mind to get healthier/lose weight for YOU!!!

Then think seriously about the things you've posted here. He did some terrible things to you and you broke up. You got back together only because of a baby. He quit his job while you were pregnant. Now he seems to be sabotaging your efforts to become healthier because it sure sounds like he's much happier when you're insecure. He's allowing his ex to make fun of you.

If his behavior was terrible enough for you to break up, a baby won't "Band-Aid" the relationship together. He now has you even more firmly emotionally/financially tied to him and knows it will be extremely difficult for you to leave if his behavior isn't conducive to a decent relationship....and keeping you insecure adds to that control.

As for his ex, why is she given the opportunity to make fun of you? Does he hear her? If so, why isn't he putting a stop to it or making sure she isn't allowed into your home long enough to do so? Personally, I'd have her wait outside or in her car and would have him take the child to her. If he's allowing her to make fun of you, then he's just as guilty as she is.

If you're taking the children with you on your walks, what possible crisis can come up at home that he can't deal with? If he can't deal with daily issues that arise at home, you're basically caring for 3 kids.

I assume he's paying child support to the ex? If so, how did that get paid while you were pregnant? I've often found that a parent's attitude about responsibility toward a child is how he/she looks at all responsibilities. (Before I get flamed, that's "OFTEN" and not "ALWAYS." I've also seen some parents who get totally screwed over by the system.)

It sounds like you have less than "no support" from this guy. You have someone who likes it when you're insecure, allows his ex to make fun of you, quits his job when you're pregnant to sit home and sulk. He figures you aren't going anywhere because he has you right where he wants you. All the things you've posted say "emotional abuser." Will that escalate into physical abuse when emotionally controlling your behavior doesn't work any more?

Think on this: If you had a daughter or a younger sister, what would you think about her being in this situation?

nicola8989

I left an abusive ex at the beginning of the year who sounds similar to your partner. It was really difficult to get away but I don't regret it for even a second. I thought I'd never meet anyone else, I was at my heaviest when I left him, but I am now with the most wonderful man who supports me and cares for me in every way possible. It's really taught me how relationships actually should be.

It's really hard to lose weight if you're being bullied by his ex and he is making it clear he didn't like it. My ex called me fat all the time because he was projecting his own insecurities about his weight onto me, but if I tried to lose weight he got very insecure and sabotaged me.

If you want some advice feel free to message me x