Friends are a bad influence

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chatal36
chatal36 Posts: 167 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had a revelation yesterday involving my well being and sucess not only on this fitness endevor but most other aspects of my life too. Most of my friends and family encourage behaviors and activities that are 100 % AGIANST my own personal goals.

Working full time, being a full time college student, living on my own leaves very little free time for me. I always thought that I needed to be surrounded by friends and family and getting drunk on the weekends or i would be missing out on something.

I recently realized Im missing out on my own personal joys, by spending my precious time on activities that DO NOT perpetuate my goal. I wish i had more friends who spent their time doing positive things. Or like a running group or work out buddies.

Revelation # 2 Going to the gym and working on my health and personal health is important
Worrying what my hair looks like not.
Avoiding the gym so as not to mess up my hair is ABSOLUTLEY Unacceptable !!!!

In the up comming year I intend to do what makes ME happy and successful.

What do you plan to do this year ?

Replies

  • Charlie001
    Charlie001 Posts: 354
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    Hit the gym harder. Just shaved my head to the skin, so I do not think I need to worry about hair issues. I need to tighten my food a little more. I let it get away from me for a few months and put an inch back on. Not cool.....not at all.
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    You are so right, its really hard. Most of the people have the worst influence right in their house - family members can be quite awful. Not only do they bring bad food into the house, but they love saying "Ooo just have a bite, just a little bit, its a sweet little sausage!". Luckily for me only my father does that and not often, plus he spends most time on trips, so I can say my family is actually quite supportive.
    My friends dont spend too much time thinking about looks or drinking (if you want to drink vodka, drink it, if you want white wine, drink it, and we have one girl that drinks non alco and we dont make fun of her!). My boyfriend is also supportive, but he does say he misses us eating together. So I solve that by trying to have my "bad" moments and "rewards" when I am with him.
    But its true that the only healthy thing i do with my friends are walks in the city or dancing in the disco...:D.

    Its not actually about your topic, but I know people also get angry because all their friends meet in restaurants eating unhealthy stuff. Plus I read somewhere that for every plus person that sits with you at a table eating, you eat 20% more. So you meet with 2 more friends and you eat 40% more than normally! I mean..thats horrible!
    Good luck...maybe you can try to inspire your friends to do more healthy stuff with you, one by one...
  • EmilyAnn89
    EmilyAnn89 Posts: 564 Member
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    i just realized the same exact thing yesterday! i'm a mom of 2 and all my friends that are my age just go out and party all the time. i've been trying to quit smoking for about 6 months now, and while i've cut WAY back, anytime my friends come over they always ask me if i want a cigarette? why? lol they know i am trying to quit! there's so many things i want to do and i feel like the people in my life are sort of holding me back. i know it's obviously my responsibility to change it, but it's hard to work up the will power to do so. i decided on saturday night that i'm not going out anymore, only on special occasions, no more negativity in my household, and i'm going to get back on the right track. i was down to 120 in april of this year and somehow i've let myself get so out of control i've gained all but 4 lbs back, putting me back at 144. this year is going to be about me and making positive changes in my life, because i want to be happy!
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
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    Nice post!
    The title caught my eye coz I have 2 friends staying until 15th Jan and 2 others coming on the 8th Jan for a week or so..... at lunch time I was asked 4 times if I was sure I didnt want pizza as well as my soup and bread, lol!
    and these are my mates who are on diets!!!!!!

    my pal and her hubby are coming later, he is a poppet and my running partner she is a nightmare who thinks i look old now that i have lost weight and insists on having all my trigger foods in the house...... i love her dearly but she loves me more when I am fat and eating lots of chocolate...... gonna have to get xmas out of my system, get my motivation strong and myfitness pals in uber support mode if I am going to get to where I would like for the end of Jan! at least our MFPeeps are a good influence :)
  • fasttrack27
    fasttrack27 Posts: 324
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    Wow! If more young ladies (and guys for that matter) only had your insights...

    I hope you find a local group you're searching for. Happy New Year!
  • cmo115
    cmo115 Posts: 73 Member
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    i often feel like my friends secretly don't want me to succeed....because that means they too would need to do something about their health.... or that they enjoy being the more fit one. Anyway...And I can TOTALY relate to the hair issue!! Thank you for posting this...because it is soo true.
  • chatal36
    chatal36 Posts: 167 Member
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    Im soo glad im not the only one who feels this way. This is why MFP is great there is always someone who can atleast kind of relate to what you are going through.

    Does any one struggle with what exercises you do at the gym because your afraid people are looking/ making fun of you... or that you are doing them wrong ? Im really trying to get over that too !!
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    I think everyone is thinking the same or concentrating on the workout and making themselves better and stronger - and that for that reason everyone is too busy to watch:D!
  • chatal36
    chatal36 Posts: 167 Member
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    Very True!
  • ashlee954
    ashlee954 Posts: 1,112 Member
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    Great post! Christmas day my boyfriend's mom had a party. I ate like three cups of cheddar chex mix BEFORE dinner. So at dinner I made my plate but left off the roll. My mom said "Oh gosh Ashlee you are so skinny. Why are you not having a roll?" I said because I'm really not hungry. I had three cups of chex mix!" She proceeded to repeat herself "But you're so skinny." Since when does being thin equate to stuff your face when you're not hungry? I mean come on!
  • chatal36
    chatal36 Posts: 167 Member
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    Exactly!! I feel pressure from people to eat all the time. especially at the office. Then when you dont eat it its like they feel the need to tease you for it ....
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    I think its because food is something everyone is really involved in a lot. Everyone thinks about it and has some ideas and opinions. Plus they can feel guilty when they see someone is doing something and they are just not. So you simply have to resist. They will keep pushing forever:D
  • cmo115
    cmo115 Posts: 73 Member
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    I feel like this all the time! I am trying to overcome it...but I especially feel that way among guys my age...or girls that are in great shape. I feel like inside they are laughing at my efforts. Who knows! I just need to get over it!
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    Cms im sure they are not laughing, not if they are at least a little bit normal. I think its usually not the thinner people that bother us - they dont care - its those who also need to try to live healthy too that try to push us back into our old habits, as it would justify their own unhealthy life.
    Of course parents just do it out of love, haha:D
  • adge1475
    adge1475 Posts: 77 Member
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    I totally agree with the original poster. My ability to socialize has definitely dwindled since I started losing weight but it's been completely worth. I don't want to go out to restaurants or bars and eat/drink high calorie crap. I certainly don't want to be around people who discourage my effort, or encourage me to eat. Surrounding myself with supportive, understanding friends and losing the bad influences has made a huge difference in my life.
  • DaniEss
    DaniEss Posts: 27
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    Im soo glad im not the only one who feels this way. This is why MFP is great there is always someone who can atleast kind of relate to what you are going through.

    Does any one struggle with what exercises you do at the gym because your afraid people are looking/ making fun of you... or that you are doing them wrong ? Im really trying to get over that too !!

    omg thats so funny you say that. i battle with that all the time. thats why so far i only do the exercises my fiance has showed me how to do at the gym. i am mortified of looking dumb like i am using a machine wrong or something. If I swallowed my pride i guess I could ask someone how to use it. But then i dont want any guys there getting the wrong idea! hahaha

    so yes I understand. and as for the hair, im right there with you. (Within reason) I try to plan out my gym days so that it is time to wash my hair afterwards anyway.
  • 2hdesign
    2hdesign Posts: 153
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    My hubby's family doesn't have a sense of what it means to be healthy. Eating at the in laws is like eating out. Exercise with them? HA! I can't even get them to go for a walk but once or twice a year and there's so no exercise related outings (parks, hiking, swimming, etc). Or even play in the yard instead of watch TV. So I do my best to get my exercise before I go over there and really watch my portion sizes... it's so hard. Espcially because several of them are larger then me and don't like hearing about me trying to get healthy. So I try and keep it to myself (thankfully, my hubby is supportive!)>

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