Hi My name is Nick . Depressed at a morbid 350 pounds

HeidiCooksSupper

Many of us fight depression and I tried self-medicating with alcohol but luckily was living in NYC without a car for the worst of it so managed to miss the legal problems. My father self-medicated until he ended up catatonic in the loony bin.

Self-medicating with food is "better" but still not the solution. If you can at all swing it, try to get some psychological counseling. If that's not possible, join AA or another self-help group. If your physician suggests antidepressants, don't poo-poo it. I've taken them for close to 30 years and they are a boon. Consider getting a SADD light and take some vitamin D since you are probably not getting much sun.

Meanwhile, as to the food thing. For many of us, it's a life-long battle, just like the depression. But there are folks on here who have lost almost as much as you weigh in total. It can be done.

Yeah, I know my ticker doesn't show much progress but that's because when I slide back into my usual habits, as I did the last several months, I hover at 280, I feel lousy, I don't exercise, and I frustrate the hell out of my doctor because I do know what to do.

MFP is a wonderful community of folks of many varieties but also of many just like you. We know what you are going through. We know how hard it is. But we also know its better to never to give up and we're happy to throw you a rope to help you climb up out of the pit.

Leigh269

Hi Nick,

I am a sober alcoholic. Even though I never got caught drunk driving in my past or caused any harm thank God, it could have happened if I hadn't stopped drinking. I have been sober 15 years next month. I went through depression when I quit drinking and got lots of assistance through AA. I gained a lot of weight and was up to 245 pounds. It took me about five years to get going and lost 100 pounds about eight years ago. I have joined MFP because I have gained back 30 and don't want to end up back where I was. I'm not sure if you are on any meds for depression but I know that what worked for me was to start moving. I started out walking and as time went on began interval training. I felt incredible and my body was transformed. I quit working out about two years ago and started back on the sugar. It put me back into a low level depression but I have come out of it now. I have cut out the sugar once again and try to stay from away from white flour, rice, pasta, potatoes, etc. I do have whole wheat products on occasion and also eat protein, full-fat cheese but in moderation, nuts, veggies, and berries. I know from experience that getting moving is difficult when you are depressed because all you want to do is sleep. I had to force myself to get moving. Start with a short walk even if it is just 15 minutes and then work your way up to longer and eventually more vigorous exercise. Also high sugar intake makes depression even worse.

I'm rooting for you!!! Karyn

ElaizaWaters

Hey,
Dont feel guilty that you feel depressed or down, you know we all do time to time. We all have some past, i have started my life from 0 twice and i`m just 28, i dont have much support either...and yet there is just one thing that actually matters...Never ever give up on yourself...ever...

Maybe you should look on your past as God blessing...I have terrible things in my past, and yet i have understand that it is blessing, all what happened with me showed me who are those people in my life how truly care about me, who are true friends, and what is true values in life... It was just a life lesson, and i`m thankful to my God to experience it, cuz now i have chance to change my life.

One thing i can tell about sleeping...as more you sleep as more you want to sleep...it is like addiction. So i guess i would advice to do one little step after other...shorten sleep time for hour every week till you get to 7-8 hours.

I understand it is hard for you to move, but i ensure you in motion is life...You just have to start by just walking, it will help a lot trust me. start with 10 to 15 min(if its hard to do it longer) add some 5 min every week...do walks everyday...

Eat good. I`m sure that food for you is same as for me - comfort...find your way to deal with emotions...if i feel bad i just go out and walk...it keeps me away from food and fresh air and walking puts thoughts in places...

If you need any support just let me know I`m here for you

No_Finish_Line

Hey Nick!

I have to say i have a pretty similair story to yours, although mine is more pathetic in some ways, while yours is worse in others.

I was also a drunk driver. There's no excuse for it. All we can do is appologize and move forward. MIne cost me 10 grand and got me a criminal record. Also had the blow tube on my car for a year. I do not mean to complain, or belittle anyone's experience who has been victimized by drunk driving, I just want to show Nick that i know at least a little bit about what he has experienced. Girl friend left, found out who my real friends were, live with my parents, check check check.

if your really sleeping 15 hrs every day, there's little doubt that your clinically depressed. i often have trouble putting one foot in front of the other, but i can get out of bed.

i experience a lot of anxiety as well. Exercise helps a great deal with this. If your not used to it, it might just seem like stress, but once you get more comfortable with the idea, you'll recognize how much stress is relieved when you finish.

I've watched 'my 600 lbs life' a lot. its a show about gastric bypass surgery. some succeed, some fail. the ones that lose the weight end up discovering something about themselves that was driving them to basically self medicate with food. the ones that fall usually don't do any soul searching and end up making excuses. It sounds like you already know the things that you need to fix and are actively working on them. so i have high hopes for you to do very, very well.

good luck.

No_Finish_Line

also, and this is totally just my opinion, to help with the depression i'd recommend making as many solid real life connections as you possibly can. not something easily done or really even so much desired in that state of mind, i know.

on line support is great, but if you rely too much on people that don't really know you, you can end up getting let down.

lloydrt

Nick, I came back to see if anyone has replied to your post ,and so glad they did.......again, Im glad , even though you did get stopped, at least you didn't maim or kill someone......I don't think I could live with myself killing some one while driving, whether its drinking or texting...........I am glad you have some solutions that people have offered......add me if you would like, I can support you as well

I always count my blessings, it helps because others can be in worse shape..........Best wishes, Lloyd

No_Finish_Line

hope things are going a little better for you Nick

PlumpKitten

I am really hoping that you have access to a doctor.You might look into getting evaluated for anxiety and depression.

I am close to someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression for years. It sounds like your problems are deeper than being weight-related. And while you might not have money for therapy right now, do think about reaching out to a counseller, chaplain, parent, etc.

Unusual fatigue, feelings of social isolation, lack of motivation to do basic care -- these are all symptoms.

Dieting and adding physical activity will help you feel better. But you might need more help than that - and there is no shame in seeking it.

NessaReh85

Hi Nick,

I, like others that have already stated, will not tell you that "You can do it!" I will however say that you are the only person holding yourself back. That being said, being someone with severe anxiety issues as well, I understand, somewhat, what you feel. It is truly hard to get started. It has taken me 10 years and finally one day when I decided to get on the floor ot play horsy with my daughter and had to call someone to help me get back up because my weight has put a huge strain on my back and my back slipped a disk. That was the last straw. It was "Do I want to be someone that can not play games or do I want to be someone that I can be proud of and not need help to get up off the floor" It took a lot for me to get started but now that I have and can see the scale going down. It gives you this great feeling!

Feel free to friend me, I talk to people through messages on here and am willing to be a long distant friend for you to chat with as well. Keep smiling and try to stay positive

tifftwoten

I also dealt with severe anxiety for several years and have found doing at fifteen minutes of exercise will calm the anxiety and then I want to exercise longer. Exercise really helps me to channel my stress and feel much better. I am beginning a weight loss journey myself and trying to learn to love myself again, by paying attention to what I eat, exercising, and being less critical myself. I may not be in top shape, but my body is still powerful enough to heal itself and feel better and I need to appreciate that.