Weight Gaining after ED

back2thestart

I don't know if any of you know the answer to my question, but I don't know anybody else who might help me. Two years ago I struggled with anorexia, for a whole year. It got to the limit point, luckily it wasn't fatal, but it affected my health. My parents wouldn't let me diet, or workout, or anything until I started eating "well" (the mean well like eating what they call normal people food, like 50%healthy 50%cake, fries, burgers, etc.). I gained a lot of weight then, almost 18 pounds, so my mom realized I was uncomfortable with the way I looked and, even though I'm really obsessed with calories and stuff, she allowed me to sign up for a gym. She cooked healthier, no fries, oils, no sugar, no cakes, no sweets. I was really happy with the way I looked. After we went to visit my brother for a couple weeks (my brother has a metabolism way faster than mine) my mom saw he ate fast food almost 3 times a week, so she started cooking fries every once in a while. My parents got me out of the gym, so I tried working out, but I had to study for my tests, so it was a struggle.
I have quite a lot of problems lately, so I'm struggling with I (i-think-it-is) depression. My parents, nor my friends know about this, but I've been so sad I have had lots of cravings. It started slowly, but I've gained a lot of weight lately. It's like I tell myself not to eat a cake, but then I think about getting EDs again and I eat a bit, which turns into the whole damn thing. I can't control it, I mean I can't eat or not eat without feeling guilty. I can't workout because I'm really tired and sad all the time I just want to sleep and never wake up again. My grades have dropped too, so it has been a lot of stress. Please, any comments or help or anything to make me feel like I can be myself again. Like I can be comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to go to pools or to the beach or to wear fit clothes. I just wear loose clothes, I don't take care of myself anymore.

adamitri

I understand how hard it is to have an ED but what helped me was that I found someone close to talk to. I wonder if you have someone like that around you. You should talk to those close to you so they can help you if you can, if not your parents maybe a friend. Sometimes I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin but slowly I am learning. One day at a time is my motto and the thought that it will get better. Things get better with time. Don't think this is the end. Find someone to talk to and find a new beginning.

funchords

My parents, nor my friends know about this, but I've been so sad [...] I just want to sleep and never wake up again. [...] I don't take care of myself anymore

Textbook depression symptoms. You deserve treatment and it sounds like your parents are supportive and understanding. If you can't speak the words to them, then please show them your post or rewrite it on paper and share it. If you have supportive friends, then tell them. I know you think that they have their own problems and you don't want to be a burden -- but just saying the words to someone "I have depression" will help you.

It's really not about the food or your weight -- depression like this usually has no specific source. We can't fix it by giving you nutrition or fitness advice. You should ask your doctor for a CBC to make sure your depression isn't related to anemia or some other physical cause. You should get your depression treatment from a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

If you do want online advice, look for help with depression and it's close cousin, anxiety. Anxiety and Depression Workbook For Dummies is a good book. But one thing more I can say with people with depression: they often don't seek treatment or even try to help themselves because they don't believe it's worth all the trouble. It's very nonspecific. And they sink deeper and deeper into sadness and isolation. It lasts a long time without help because depressed people tend to try to just wait it out.

sofaking6

Diet and exercise isn't your problem, it's just more symptoms of the depression which it really does seem like you have. Your grades dropping, the frustrating struggle with decision-making, the sweets craving, all of that is part of it as well. If you don't want to tell your parents or your friends, find a support hotline and call and talk to someone. Depression can happen to anyone at anytime, it's nothing to be ashamed of and at the same time it's a real physical problem, just like a torn ligament or broken bone, that should be taken seriously and dealt with with professional support.

Loads of hugs to you, kiddo.