lost the movitation

JoyBellz

I know I have probably said this a million times but I have lost my motivation. I cannot seem to get back on the wagon. I feel like I don't have anyone to really "support" me. I have people to talk to about all of this but nobody to help me be accountable. I NEED to do this! I am just so discouraged after trying so hard at watching calories and carbs and exercising, only to GAIN 15lbs, and not 15lbs of muscle either. My doctor says it has to be the PCOS, but I do NOT want that to be an excuse. I need someone to work out with. A friend and I were working out together about a year ago and when I didn't feel like exercising, I didn't have the heart to call and tell her I didn't want to which MADE me stick to it. Unfortunately, she stopped coming and that was the end of that. My husband and I work different shifts so working out with him is not possible.....and I can't seem to get him to do it anyway, even when we are home together. :frown: I need help, please........

bonniecameron68

I feel for you! If it weren't for my fitness buddies it would be a little too easy to stay at home. If you can't find a friend to work out with try signing up for something. I registered for a triathlon last year and felt obligated to train, I also found a lot of others to work out with who were part of our local Tri club. there are many run/walk clubs you can join or a class you enjoy to register for. If you have to pay for it, and have to show up that might help you be more motivated. I find picking certain days of the week to do my training and workouts and I stick to it as best as I can, because life does get in the way sometimes!! I also find it helpful to tell your friends and family or co workers your fitness plan or goals, that way they can help keep you accountable too. I wish you the best and hope you find your mojo soon!

nmpresto

Something you could try is to join (or start your own) a challenge here on MFP. I know that is not someone being there to workout with you etc. but it has been a big help to keep me accountable. Because really who wants to check in on weigh in day and see that everyone else has lost a pound or more and you haven't lost any, or even gained some!

mandijo

Motivation is so easy to lose. Try giving yourself rewards either for weight lost or holding yourself accountable to your workouts. Ex. Workout 30 minutes a day for 5 days-- go to a movie with someone special. It could be anything and it doesn't have to cost money. Maybe it's a bubble bath with 45 minutes to yourself.

Otherwise, I agree with bonnie. Sign up for something to hold you accountable. I'm running my first 5K in May and plan to sign up for the warrior dash. Both need some training, so it forces me to workout!

Good luck to you! You can do this!

Shelby_M

Hi Dear,
I'm so sorry to hear about all of that. I understand how it goes. I have PCOS and I know how it is with the weight gain. I've started to get people from work that I'm friends with to go workout. I don't like working out alone and I sometimes don't have the motivation so this works great. Why don't you try it? Try getting friends from work to go with you. Don't put yourself down about it everytime you get off track just get back on. If you slip you slip just think the next day will be better. Or say if you want to eat that sweet just go for a long walk.

Elizabeth_C34

I went through a lot of yoyo dieting of the last 8 years because I kept thinking that workouts had to be boring in some gym on a treadmill counting every second left and that all I could eat were salads, which I hate. Hence, I never could stick to anything for more than a week.

Turns out, I've lost 5 lbs in my first 10 days here on MFP by eating things I like (NO SALADS!) and doing activities that I like. Try to find things that you like to eat and like to do and incorporate them into your plan. If you like to be outside then instead of going out to sit and enjoy the sunshine, take the dog for a walk or just go out on your own in your neighborhood or a local park. You can also add a few small things into your daily life like parking in the back of the parking lot at the grocery store and walking the extra distance to and from the door. If you want to hit a gym instead, invest in an MP3 player and load it with some of your favorite upbeat songs. Program the machine you're on then don't look again until you complete your workout. For me, I get bored with music, but I love to read. So, I put hundreds of hours of history podcasts and audiobooks on my iPod that I listen to while I workout, and it's been so much fun. I look forward to my workouts just to catch up on my podcasts

It'll take a little longer to lose the weight this way, but for me, it's something I can stick to, which is worth being patient. I hope it helps.

Long story short, just try to make the healthier choices a positive experience for you.

Just my thoughts. I wish you all the best!

Godsflower1789

PCOS...that's what they said to me
I hear ya loud and clear...It's very hard to find the motivation. and honestly, people will always let you down...
What i found helpful is to come up with the "big three" what are the three things/people you're doing it for
1
2
3 you

tip: you always put yourself last. because we all want to look good at the beach. you know how i know why it doesn't work? i've been to the beach, and trust me, there have been plenty of times i wasn't my best weight!
are you doing it for future kids/husband/family? God, or spiritual entity? what about your passions? what drives you to be you? who drives you to be you? and why do you keep pushing to be ________ fill in the blank.
You can't be at your best for anything if you aren't healthy, so you need goals to look forward to. and not just beach goals.
and everytime you lose motivation, think about what you're doing it for. to be the best ______ fill in the blank. to be the best FOR ________ fill in the blank. and last, to be the best you.
that's why we're here, and you can do anything! when you don't feel like doing it remember you're doing it for those reasons, and it REALLY helps!
(ps-you can totally add me as a friend if you need a motivational partner :-) )

carina73

I also have PCOS. are you taking any medication? I'm taking Metformin. it's the same thing my FIL takes for his diabetes. Even though every blood test I've taken for diabetes is negative. I started taking it 1 yr ago and thought it would make me loose weight without trying. that was wrong... but when I did start tracking my calories and exercising, wow, was it nice to see pounds just melt off.

I must admit I did stop tracking and exercising but I was really busy with my home day care, then I found out I was pregnant, so that's it for me for a while.

It's all good tho, b/c it was a planned pregnancy.

HTH.

JoyBellz

I also have PCOS. are you taking any medication? I'm taking Metformin. it's the same thing my FIL takes for his diabetes. Even though every blood test I've taken for diabetes is negative. I started taking it 1 yr ago and thought it would make me loose weight without trying. that was wrong... but when I did start tracking my calories and exercising, wow, was it nice to see pounds just melt off.

I must admit I did stop tracking and exercising but I was really busy with my home day care, then I found out I was pregnant, so that's it for me for a while.

It's all good tho, b/c it was a planned pregnancy.


HTH.

I have tried taking metformin two different times (diabetes test negative as well) and went off of it both times in just a short time after starting. The first time I went off of it, I had gotten sick, thought it was the flu. Was sick, throwing up for a week. Didn't take ANYTHING during that time for fear of making it worse. Started on it again and started feeling sick again after increasing from 500 to 1000. Quit again. Been taking fertility medication since October and no such luck. Saw doctor again today and she says to go back on the metformin w/ the fertility med b/c she has recently read studies that it helps w/ fertility as well. SO....took my 1st pill tonight, again. I feel like this PCOS is haunting me in EVERYTHING I do. AND, I'm to the point of being furious! SOMETHING has to work.

JoyBellz

Thanks for all the responses. Its going to take A LOT to get me motivated again. Sounds terrible, but its the truth. I am praying for God to give me strength to do this.

Godsflower1789

the problem with PCOS is that the doctors are treating the symptoms of it, and not the source.
They can give you medication and tell you to lose weight....but the REASON women have PCOS is because they are insulin resistant. and the reason WHY you become insulin resistant is because of the amount of sugar you take in. your body starts burning sugar instead of fat, and doesn't know what to do with the excess sugar-thus PCOS.
I was diagnosed at 13, and couldn't lose any weight. not until I talked to a nutritionist who recommended to go on a sugar fast (where you eat as little sugar as you can)
I personally recommend trying the core plan of the maximized living. (you can find it online)
it really helps to moderate your sugar levels though. trust me, i've been struggling for 8 years, and finally something that works that doesnt come in pill form. it's a lot of work but it's worth it :-)

nikicoleman

I can totally relate to your motivation and PCOS issues. I'm feeling like I did so well getting almost 50lbs off of me and now that I have about 40 more to go, I can't find that motivation. Heck if I got another 20 off I'd be so thankful and happy. BUT for some reason I can't pull it together. I actually want to see my doctor again and get back on Metformin because I'm having some PCOS stuff come back now that I lost weight-go figure that things got worse as I lost?! I know the last time I lost it helped things and now, off and on helping I have been stuck at the same weight for the last few MONTHS. A total discouragement. I have to finish though-I haven't come this far to just throw in the towel and eat like a pig. I know I don't feel well with it-so here it comes again!

I have to remember why I'm doing this and that's all I can do right now. I hope you do find some motivation soon. I know how rough this road is and I know that in the end we will be very thankful.

As for the sugar-information. I realize I need to eat less sugars, but i already don't eat a lot of sweets and sugar-filled items. I know that I lost weight cutting all carbs completely and look how big I am now?! So for me it is truly something I have to learn to eat in moderation. I will look up that information you said-I have got to change my life!! Thank you for sharing Godsflower1789.

Good luck Joy....you can do this!!!!!!

JoyBellz

I too, don't eat a lot of sugar and never have. When I do rarely eat a lot of something sugary, I feel sick. I drink tea w/ NO sugar or sweetener. I rarely order soda when I go to a restaurant, again, its usually un-sweet tea. I have been tested for insulin resistance and have been told that I do not have that and was only put on metformin the first time, after I asked for it. This time, the doctor put me on the metformin b/c she has studied that it can help w/ fertility which we are working on right now as well. Obesity, diabetes and heart problems all run in my family on BOTH sides. My dad at age 56 has been instructed by his doctor to apply for disability b/c his back and hips are so "worn out" one, from his weight and two, from sitting in a big truck all day long his entire career. He is too heavy for any surgery unless it is a life threatening matter. I also had an uncle, younger than my dad, who had diabetes and fell over and died from a heart attack w/ no prior warning signs. This is some scary stuff. I do NOT want to be in either of those situations. I MUST do something. I want to control my life, NOT the PCOS and if it means finding a new doctor who is wiling to try new things, so be it. In the past, I tried the carb restricted diet which I got from a nurse who worked at a fertility clinic. I did lose about 20lbs when I was following that. Its just so hard. My husband will not eat very many healthy foods b/c he "doesn't like them." Truth is, I can't afford to fix two separate meals. BUT as I said, something has to give so.....let the fun begin. Thanks for all the responses. Keep the info/personal experience stories coming. I do appreciate them. Add me if you want, as well. Thanks again.

bjshields

Hi, there. So sorry you are in a slump. This site has really been helping me, even though I gained 1.5 lbs at my last weigh-in (and wanted to throw the scale out the window!).

There are a number of challenges on this website. I joined the one "Valentine's Day Challenge" -- it's walking or running or swimming or elliptical training or biking, etc. 120 miles (cumulative) between Jan 1 & Feb 14th. I've also signed up for a half marathon in May, and there are a bunch of people on my thread doing that. We're going to be checking in with each other every Tuesday, so you could join that. That's under "From Non-Runner to Half Marathon in Four Months" thread.

I'd suggest looking through the posts for challenges and do one that strikes you as something you'd enjoy.

Good luck. I'm going to send you a friend request. We can all use friends, even virtual ones!

kelika71

Some tough love here...it's not meant to be hurtful. Please know that.

First off, you and you alone, have to want this more than anything. There isn't a magic pill, formula or anything. The "magic" is in you.
Second, don't make excuses. Not saying that you or anyone else is. I found when the excuse stop, that's when success starts happening. How do I know? I have MS, Diabetes, PCOS, Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, born with bad knees, an irregular heartbeat that can stop me dead in my tracks at times and other things.
I'm dealing with all that and I keep pushing myself. Anytime I feel like not wanting to do something, I think back to how lousy I felt almost a year ago. It all starts with one step. Then another. Another. Keep going. There is a finish line to all this. It's all in how determined you are.
I'll hold you accountable. The way I see it, if I can do this, ANYONE can!! I'll tell you everything I've learned in diabetes classes, my own experience...I'll help you anyway I can.

You want to be a mother? Here's something to think about... I, too, wanted to be a mother. Because I waited too long to fix myself, I had to go through 2 emergency surgeries. The last one included an Endometrial Ablation that sealed my fate. Are my issues still over? Nope! I'm still facing the possibility of a hysterectomy.

Learn from my mistakes and don't make it too late for you.
Add me if you want & best wishes!!

JoyBellz

Some tough love here...it's not meant to be hurtful. Please know that.

First off, you and you alone, have to want this more than anything. There isn't a magic pill, formula or anything. The "magic" is in you.
Second, don't make excuses. Not saying that you or anyone else is. I found when the excuse stop, that's when success starts happening. How do I know? I have MS, Diabetes, PCOS, Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, born with bad knees, an irregular heartbeat that can stop me dead in my tracks at times and other things.
I'm dealing with all that and I keep pushing myself. Anytime I feel like not wanting to do something, I think back to how lousy I felt almost a year ago. It all starts with one step. Then another. Another. Keep going. There is a finish line to all this. It's all in how determined you are.
I'll hold you accountable. The way I see it, if I can do this, ANYONE can!! I'll tell you everything I've learned in diabetes classes, my own experience...I'll help you anyway I can.

You want to be a mother? Here's something to think about... I, too, wanted to be a mother. Because I waited too long to fix myself, I had to go through 2 emergency surgeries. The last one included an Endometrial Ablation that sealed my fate. Are my issues still over? Nope! I'm still facing the possibility of a hysterectomy.

Learn from my mistakes and don't make it too late for you.
Add me if you want & best wishes!!

I understand that you don't mean to be hurtful, however, I have to say the "tough love" scenario doesn't work for me. I KNOW that I have to be the one to want it. I KNOW that I have to be the one to make it happen. Part of what makes this site so great is the SUPPORT. I don't get on here for someone to tell me what I already KNOW I have to do. I get on here for the encouragement and for me, "tough love" is not encouraging. Its just rubbing it in my face, what I already know needs to happen. I am sorry if this is rude but I have learned one thing thru this process and that is to eliminate what doesn't work. I am not an early morning person, so setting a "goal" to get up early in the morning to exercise, doesn't work for me b/c all I am setting myself up for is failure. Same with "tough love." It doesn't work for me. It only causes me to feel worse about myself and therefore I have eliminated it. I know you mean well, but for me, it doesn't work. Best of luck to you and great job on your determination and progress.

caramel827

Boy do I know how you feel. I posted something similar just last week. We can do this! Each day is a new one-so let's keep each other focused!!!

carina73

Its just so hard. My husband will not eat very many healthy foods b/c he "doesn't like them." Truth is, I can't afford to fix two separate meals. BUT as I said, something has to give so.....let the fun begin.

I was gonna say "tough love" for your hubby. make healthy meals, tell him "we can't afford to make 2 different meals, suck it up princess and learn to like healthy" lol!

something has to give, make sure it's not you! *hugs*

melanie92

Maybe you could get some friends together at your church to work out with you. Some friends of mine at church and I work out together once a week at church. Right now we're doing Zumba DVDs, and when we get tired of those we'll switch to something else. We've been doing it this way since August, and it is really great motivation and fun! Good luck!

JoyBellz

Its just so hard. My husband will not eat very many healthy foods b/c he "doesn't like them." Truth is, I can't afford to fix two separate meals. BUT as I said, something has to give so.....let the fun begin.

I was gonna say "tough love" for your hubby. make healthy meals, tell him "we can't afford to make 2 different meals, suck it up princess and learn to like healthy" lol!

something has to give, make sure it's not you! *hugs*

Thats so hilarious when you say it like that. LOL. But been there, tried that. Doesn't work. He has it in his head that if he didn't like something as a kid, he won't like it now and if he tries to eat it, he will get sick. Makes me want to SCREAM!! LOL But there is a lot of truth in "
something has to give, make sure it's not you!"

carina73

I was gonna say "tough love" for your hubby. make healthy meals, tell him "we can't afford to make 2 different meals, suck it up princess and learn to like healthy" lol!

something has to give, make sure it's not you! *hugs*

Thats so hilarious when you say it like that. LOL. But been there, tried that. Doesn't work. He has it in his head that if he didn't like something as a kid, he won't like it now and if he tries to eat it, he will get sick. Makes me want to SCREAM!! LOL But there is a lot of truth in "something has to give, make sure it's not you!"

glad you got something positive out of my comments. it's always good to take everything with a grain of salt. if it applies in your life, great. if it doesn't, that's ok too!
that sure sucks that he's so closed minded about foods. I've never been big on veggies. just the basics, corn, canned green/yellow beans, raw carrots, and reg salad fixings... since I had kids, I make myself eat broccoli, coleslaw, cooked carrots, fresh green/yellow beans.etc. my kids LOVE sweet potatoes raw. hehehe. i cut it up like carrot sticks for their lunches.
I just recently tried asparagus after a LONG time and OMG!!! i'm obsessed with it now. I'll eat the WHOLE bunch just myself! lol!

still have a hard time with brussel sprouts, cauliflower. cooked cabbage, turnips/rutabaga. but i've widened my variety, so I'm proud of that

JoyBellz

I was gonna say "tough love" for your hubby. make healthy meals, tell him "we can't afford to make 2 different meals, suck it up princess and learn to like healthy" lol!

something has to give, make sure it's not you! *hugs*

Thats so hilarious when you say it like that. LOL. But been there, tried that. Doesn't work. He has it in his head that if he didn't like something as a kid, he won't like it now and if he tries to eat it, he will get sick. Makes me want to SCREAM!! LOL But there is a lot of truth in "something has to give, make sure it's not you!"

glad you got something positive out of my comments. it's always good to take everything with a grain of salt. if it applies in your life, great. if it doesn't, that's ok too!
that sure sucks that he's so closed minded about foods. I've never been big on veggies. just the basics, corn, canned green/yellow beans, raw carrots, and reg salad fixings... since I had kids, I make myself eat broccoli, coleslaw, cooked carrots, fresh green/yellow beans.etc. my kids LOVE sweet potatoes raw. hehehe. i cut it up like carrot sticks for their lunches.
I just recently tried asparagus after a LONG time and OMG!!! i'm obsessed with it now. I'll eat the WHOLE bunch just myself! lol!

still have a hard time with brussel sprouts, cauliflower. cooked cabbage, turnips/rutabaga. but i've widened my variety, so I'm proud of that

OMG! My husband eats canned peas, canned/frozen corn, and canned green beans and that is IT. I got him to try a salad after nagging and nagging. His salad was like 4 leaves of spring mix lettuce, a sprinkle of cheese and a sprinkle of shredded carrots and he took ONE tiny bite and no more. Then called his mom to tell her he tried salad. LMBO. I am not trying to be mean. Poor guy. Its just really frustrating.

carina73

OMG! his mom really didn't do a good job making sure he ate healthy. That's sad.

even though I'm not big on veggies, my kids LOVE them. they actually stop eating their dessert to go back to nibbling on veggies. when I bring sweet potatoes home for the first time in the fall (seasonal veg) my kids jump up and down and chant "yay! sweet potato!" they prefer coleslaw to salad when given the choice @ fish/chips restaurant.

I make sure every lunch/supper has meat, veggies, grains. snacks are fruit, and drinks are milk and water. sometimes juice. they get the 4 food groups daily. my dd had fresh cherry tomatoes from my grandmother's garden once. she ate so many of them she broke out in hives! lol! now she doesn't like tomatoes, my my son eats them like they're candy.

I had to put a baby lock on the fridge b/c he was always helping himself to the ENTIRE container of berries or the 2nd half of the canteloup. he's even come out of the fridge chewing on the entire cucumber! geeze! lol! now he knows how to open the fridge, so I just tell him to let mommy wash it first! there's no stopping him!

JoyBellz

OMG! his mom really didn't do a good job making sure he ate healthy. That's sad.

Oh is mom tried. Apparently his dad didn't like most things like my husband and every time his mom would make something healthy, his dad would say "EEEWW" as soon as she put it on the table and that was the end of it, kids wouldn't touch it. His mother and sister eat a lot of veggies like I do. Must have gotten it from his dad.

Its really great that your kids like fruits and veggies so much. Sounds like you are doing a great job at teaching them healthy eating habits. Great job! :flowerforyou:

carina73

Its really great that your kids like fruits and veggies so much. Sounds like you are doing a great job at teaching them healthy eating habits. Great job! :flowerforyou:

Thanks. Happy new year! may your booze be calorie and consequence free tonight. :drinker: