distorted body image

Hopefullysane

At 175 lbs... when I looked in the mirror I saw fat and longed to be 140lbs cuz THEN I would be happy with my body

At 140lbs... when I look in the mirror I see fat and wonder what it will take to like what I see

I'm definitely happier with how my body feels. I'm eating well, I'm physically fit, I'm strong, my clothes fit better BUT what I really want is to learn to be happier with how my body looks.

I understand all of the reasons why my body image is distorted but somehow understanding does not change anything.

Frustrated.

gail1961

First of all congrats on the big loss! Your profile shows an amazingly strong and fit woman. Look at the pictures of you running and doing triathlons and any other "new" pictures you have of yourself. Now go back and look at some pictures of the old you who was heavier and had no energy. A lot of us struggle to see the "new" us and still see the bigger and more out of shape version.
Use pictures, clothes and the mirror. Have you bought smaller clothes? When we wear the clothes that are big and baggy, we don't notice the difference. Get an inexpensive journal (or make something) that you can record pictures and stats of your transformation and progress. Just try to find what works for you.

IvyLuci

I think one part of the problem is that you lose weight but still remain the same shape. So, for example, if most of your weight (like mine) is in your stomach area, that part will still be slightly puffy and nit ideally taut like you can see with other people. Add to it the other part of the problem, and that is that you know your problem spots and your eyes immediately focus on them and are usually hypercritical.

So, my suggestion would be: take some time in front of the mirror every day. But do it deliberately, and make yourself focus on some parts other than the ones you think are your problem spots. If possible compare with some older photos. You might notice that your jaw is more pronounced, or your clavicles are visible, or you have stronger shoulders, a million other possibilities.

Another thing you can do is just look at your bidy. Flex your muscles, see them move. Watch how your arms or legs become more defined when you do so.

Take sone time to learn to love the new you. Your brain has spent a lot of time focusing on seeing the negatives, so it is taking the path of least resistance; it just recycles old thoughts.

One other thing (I know this is getting long). Take a day and go clothes shopping. Try out clothes that you would never buy, try out different sizes, different shapes. It could be another way to "shock" your brain into seeing the changes.

ell_23

I understand. At 145 lbs I looked in the mirror and saw myself for what I was. In fact I probably saw myself as smaller than I actually was.

At 125 lbs, I see myself as just as chubby as I did before… despite knowing inches have come off my arms, legs and waist, dropping a dress size and having compliments all the time. I can weirdly even see a huge change myself, yet still see myself as very big.

I have to constantly remind and force myself to think I am getting slim now and that my mind is being a little obsessed with looking super slim that it means I look at myself as being big - when all it is is bigger than I would like to be.

Well done on the weight loss. Perhaps it means you're not fully happy with your weight yet, as that is what it means for me. Perhaps when you reach your desired weight and look you will see yourself how you want to see yourself?

becs3578

OMG... yes this is my story too. I was close to 180 lbs. I knew that if I lose 50 lbs I would be happy. Yeah.. I am now 127 and I am so much more confident in my own skin. I LOVE IT.. and yet I still see a lot of flaws, things I need to work on. Things that still make me self conscience.

Honestly.... this is gonna sounds crazy (and fyi I live alone)... I walk around my house naked some times. It is like a little exercise to feel comfortable in my own skin without being able to hide behind anything. I don't last too long but it is definitely the first time in my life looking at myself naked in the mirror isnt the most depressing thing in my life.

It took me all my life to get this body (i'm 35)... so it is gonna take a little while for my brain to catch up.

Jennloella

OMG... yes this is my story too. I was close to 180 lbs. I knew that if I lose 50 lbs I would be happy. Yeah.. I am now 127 and I am so much more confident in my own skin. I LOVE IT.. and yet I still see a lot of flaws, things I need to work on. Things that still make me self conscience.

Honestly.... this is gonna sounds crazy (and fyi I live alone)... I walk around my house naked some times. It is like a little exercise to feel comfortable in my own skin without being able to hide behind anything. I don't last too long but it is definitely the first time in my life looking at myself naked in the mirror isnt the most depressing thing in my life.

It took me all my life to get this body (i'm 35)... so it is gonna take a little while for my brain to catch up.

your brain needs to catch up, I think that's a brilliant way to put it.

carolineat111

I deal with this every.SINGLE.day! My fiancé has been incredible over the last year especially, but it's hard when you have such a distorted image you are unhappy with your body even at a proper weight. Anyways, for me going shopping for clothes this week really helped. I never thought I'd wear a 25/37 jean and I do...

VelveteenArabian

Try lifting and add some definition to your muscles, it might make your shape more visually appealing to yourself.

Cookie_4

I know exactly how you feel. 20 lbs lighter than where I started but I still see myself as fat and blobby. Like you OP, I also know the reasons why I see myself this way and have known for a long time. It can still be frustrating because knowing doesn't seem to help the problem go away.

What seems to help is to remember that my body may not look like what I want it to look like but I love it because it does so much for me! My legs function perfectly to get me from one place to another, my arms allow me to hug people I love and text message and drive, my stomach processes food properly to allow me to get the nutrients I need. I think of my body parts as all wonderful things working the way they should instead of seeing them as "flabby arms" or "thunder thighs". Better to have two of my arms than none at all! Hope this helps.

PS. You look great :flowerforyou:

abigail659

Thanks for posting this! Lately, I can really relate and it helps to hear all of the comments and others TALK about this issue. My highest weight was at 156 and I was miserable. When I started my journey I thought for sure I would be happy if I could just get below 140. I hit 140 and then said "I'm not happy, but I'm sure I will be happy if I can get below 130." Seriously, check my profile "about me" section. I literally typed this is a few months ago. Last week I went through a horrible depression that sucked the life out of me. I'm not one to be depressed or one to have any issues. I'm pretty much a level headed person but for some reason it hit me. It could have been a combination of things happening (i.e. TOM paying a visit, stress about bills, stress about school, stress about husband taking a pic of a hot girl next to his friends car, not working out daily, etc.). I took all of this in and was consumed with it. I equated all of this to me being fat, unattractive and no good even after losing 15 pounds. When you are at that low point, it is so hard to get out. I'm still recovering from those thoughts and not completely out of them. I did a little research and I am realizing that no matter how "normal" we are, we are still affected by the media and their standards to how women should look. IT IS EVERYWHERE; Magazines, TV Shows, Workout Videos, Music Videos, Songs, Work Out Posts, Facebook, Instagram. Everything we look at is altered by photoshop, lighting, body glitter, photo angles and those people don't really look like that and if they do they are the minority/rare case. We don't fully understand this and instantly equate all of the models and celebrities as normal people and think "Why don't I look like that?", or "Why can't I look like that?", or "I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT!" It's sad but I think every woman must feel this way subconsiously at one time or another and it's not right because it's fake.
I'm doing a number of things to get away from this thinking.
I'm trying to focus on the beautiful things about me. Just as Cookie_4 says. My body has had 2 heathly and beautiful boys, I have my health, my arms, legs, my hair, my eyesight, my hearing and that is more than what a lot of people can say.
I'm staying away from all the videos and posts that show a fitness model telling me I can look like them. Because I will NEVER look like them. I am me and I will always look like me, no matter what size, weight, shape or form.
I'm centering my world on God, searching for a church to plug into, playing christian music in the car and above all praying God will help me out of this way of thinking.
I will continue my journey in eating healthy and exercising but will do so cautiously, not to be someone I will never be, but to be a better version of ME.
I do wish you all the very best and hope you know my post is with good intentions and hope I'm not bashed too much.

Beanogirl

I can relate to this totally. I have 11lbs to go to the target weight I initially set. Lost 45lbs so far. I bought a new outfit last night. UK size 12. I have always envied size 12 ladies for their figures, however when I look in the mirror I still look fat. Feeling very discouraged.

yoovie

you cant just look how you wanna look, you have to be who you want to be and do what you want to do.

do 1/3 of the work, get 1/3 of the results!