Broken

hamilton4beaumont

That's exactly how I feel! I don't know how to fix me either! According to my heart rate monitor (I've been wearing it everyday for 9 days) I've burned more than I have consumed, deficit ranging from 850 to 500. I KNOW I read that I would probably gain weight going from YEARS of 1300 to 9 days of 1800-2000! But I'm not weighing myself, but I am measuring. and that extra inch on my waist makes me want to stay in my closet and not come out. I'm worried that I'm going to keep gaining weight and inches as long as I eat 1800 calories! It's been really difficult, mentally to eat like this. I've always been told to "cut back," without anyone ever asking what I was eating in the first place. It was mostly iceburg lettuce, cans of tuna, sugar free jello, fish, etc...
I've created spread sheets that breaksdown calories burned on HRM, calories consumed and deficit. Then I averaged the cals for the week and added the deficit for the week and it came to around 4500. If this is part of the PROGRESS :sad: (gaining FAT) and if this will help me not be broken, then I will stick with this. BUt everything in me is screaming stop and quit because you're just going to keep getting bigger!
I'm beyond consolable I think. I just don't know how much longer I can take watching my body change. I know it was one inch, but it was one inch in the WRONG direction.
Just needed to let this out before I attempt to go to work and pretend that nothings bothering me and pretend that I don't want to be in a poncho all day!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening to me vent!

hamilton4beaumont

That's exactly how I feel! I don't know how to fix me either! According to my heart rate monitor (I've been wearing it everyday for 9 days) I've burned more than I have consumed, deficit ranging from 850 to 500. I KNOW I read that I would probably gain weight going from YEARS of 1300 to 9 days of 1800-2000! But I'm not weighing myself, but I am measuring. and that extra inch on my waist makes me want to stay in my closet and not come out. I'm worried that I'm going to keep gaining weight and inches as long as I eat 1800 calories! It's been really difficult, mentally to eat like this. I've always been told to "cut back," without anyone ever asking what I was eating in the first place. It was mostly iceburg lettuce, cans of tuna, sugar free jello, fish, etc...
I've created spread sheets that breaksdown calories burned on HRM, calories consumed and deficit. Then I averaged the cals for the week and added the deficit for the week and it came to around 4500. If this is part of the PROGRESS :sad: (gaining FAT) and if this will help me not be broken, then I will stick with this. BUt everything in me is screaming stop and quit because you're just going to keep getting bigger!
I'm beyond consolable I think. I just don't know how much longer I can take watching my body change. I know it was one inch, but it was one inch in the WRONG direction.
Just needed to let this out before I attempt to go to work and pretend that nothings bothering me and pretend that I don't want to be in a poncho all day!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening to me vent!

hamilton4beaumont

I am sorry if I sound like a 2 year old having a fit... Banks did tell me to give it a month. But the 9 day result has freaked me out so bad that the idea of a month is putting me way down in the dumps. Who wants to get bigger, ya know?
My mom always said, "you have to make a mess to clean a mess." She was referring to cleaning out closets and drawers, but maybe the same is true in this case.

simontemple

Hello,

Just a thought, if you have put on an inch in the 9 days you might find that it is not all down to the food you are eating. Otherwise if you carried on eating at a similar rate in a year you would put on 40 inches and as you know that would be impossible. If could be down to the type of food you are eating now, causing you to bloat slightly because of the change in diet, water retention etc.

The trainer I have in the gym also mentione to me that some people work better with carb or protein diets. I know I find a high protein diet better for me. When I say diet I only mean the range of food I eat, not a program designed to lose weight. I haven't cut out carbs, but reduced the processed carbs a little and increased protein.

Keep at it and see what the full month gives you, then make a considered decision.

Simon

iftcheiaf

You're not broken!!! But I do understand the frustration you're going through. Maybe you can reevaluate what types of foods you're taking in. Everyone's bodies takes to different foods differently. Also, realize that your body changes throughout the month. Give it another week and try again. You're doing great! Even without the weight loss being immediate, your learning a new lifestyle of healthy eating. Don't give up quite yet. You're not alone in your frustrations and endeavors. Keep tweaking your diet and exercising and I bet you'll see results in no time

shorerider

Ok, first. Take deep breath, calm down some, and say to yourself "I am beautiful!"

Now--and this is frank talk here--please try to improve your self image. You are not broken! You are barely overweight! My gosh, you only want to lost less than 20 pounds according to your profile. Your picture shows a beautiful woman who looks wonderfully happy. Please look deep inside yourself and see the wonderful beautiful person you already are! Some of us, like me, have well over 100 pounds to lose, but I have determined that any step I make in the right direction is a good one and anything I do to improve my health is a good step.

So, you are already doing the right things--realize that first and foremost--by wanting to lose a few more pounds.

Now, let's talk about that inch! You are a woman, so there are so many factors that influence our bodys at any given point in the month that it is just absolutely disgusting at all. Also, that inch could be from holding the tape slightly different, maybe measuring a slightly different spot on your body, etc. etc. etc. Anything could give or take an inch in measurements!

Ok, so you've increased your calories--give it some time! You've only been trying for 9 days! And with the small amount of weight you want to lose, IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME! Have patience, don't get upset, take some deep breaths, and wait to see two or three weeks from now.

Are you exercising, too? I've noticed that if i skip exercising for a few days, I lose no weight, not even with the 1000 calorie deficit daily that I'm on. Try increasing your exercise for a bit and see what happens--BUT REMEMBER TO EAT MORE ON DAYS YOU EXERCISE SO YOU'RE NOT STARVING YOUR BODY!

Our brains in today's world have been "fast food programmed"--we want everything and we want it now! But weight loss isn't like that--it takes time!

I'm sorry your mother did that to you at such a young age. I think it has really impacted your self-image. Please see that you are not that scared embarrassed little girl anymore--you are a beautiful woman now with a great family.

Take some of this to God in prayer--remember Jesus told us not to worry!!

God loves you so much just as you are--but you already know that right? :flowerforyou:

hamilton4beaumont

Thank you. Thank you shorerider! My tears are for a different reason now. You definitely brought me back to reality. I have taken this to God in prayer many times. I know he may not answer me when I want him to, but he's always an on-time God. You have NO idea how much your words moved me today. You definitely ranked in some points in heaven today for helping a wayward soul feel grounded again! :flowerforyou:
You're right. Give it more time. I am a woman :grumble: and bodies do change throughout the months. I think I'm getting plenty of protein (90-95 grams) Thinking it was too much. BUt I don't eat over or near my amount in carbs. Carbs consist of brown rice (1/2 cup) and fruit and fiber ones. Not too much processed foods, except the fiber ones, low sodium soups, and occasional ice cream! ALL NATURAL THOUGH.
THANK you so much. GOd bless.

ali106

wow!!! what wonderful advice and posts you got girl!!!! I totally agree....you're perfect the way God made you and so happy you see that!!!

When we want to get healthy and lose weight I feel like its saying thanks to God by taking care of this precious body he gave us.....he understands all our stress and pains and gives us the strength we need to help ourselves.....so big hugs and keep up the great job...I know you will!!!

hugs and wow I'm feeling so much better myself reading this thread...beautifully said shorerider and everyone!!!:flowerforyou:
Ali

shorerider

Glad my words helped but give the credit where it belongs--to God who has fixed all of us "broken" souls!

Remember Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"