Lose Weight Despite Spouse Sabotage

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Lose Weight Despite Spouse Sabotage

You're doing everything you can to lose weight, but your spouse either doesn't need to diet or isn't interested. Find out how you can still stick to your plan.
By Madeline Vann, MPH

Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

You've been trying to lose weight and stick to a diet plan that helps you feel good and achieve your goals, only to watch your significant other bust out a bowl of chips and a chocolate bar as an evening snack. Whether your spouse is naturally slender or ignoring his own weight problem, you can take steps to keep your diet from derailing.

Lose Weight: Dieting With a Non-Dieting Spouse

Many a dieter has wished her spouse would change his ways so she could achieve her diet goals. While it may be tempting to simply throw up your hands, creative strategies that curb frustration can help, says one resourceful dieter.

"I'm not going to blame my husband for this, but I am around him all the time and he can eat anything and everything that he wants," notes Frances Simon, a writer based in New Orleans who says she is committed to make this the year she returns to her goal weight. "He has a completely different metabolism and he exercises all the time, whereas I find it hard just to find the time."

For years, her husband's habit of snacking during the evening TV shows they enjoyed together undermined her diet plans. Even though Simon reports that she has found a Mediterranean-style weight loss plan that keeps her feeling full, she still sometimes has to fight the temptation to snack along with him.

"Best thing I've learned [to combat] the evening snacking — which I am not going to change about him — is knitting. If I keep my hands busy, I won't start eating," says Simon.

ladysvs

Mine is in-law sabotage not spouse. My husband is losing weight along with me & it does make a huge difference!

Canonoch

I'm there as well

wannbAhottie

My problem is co-worker sabotage! We started loosing weight togather and now that she is pregnant she is no longer dieting. She has flat our told me she doesn't like it (I've alway's been way bigger) and is always bringing "stuff" into the office that she know's I "used" to love, and the comments.... makes me want to shove her whole freakin calzone into her mouth:devil: ! Anyway's.... I guess it just makes us stronger. Thank goodness I have MYP community.

Redbella

this is so me. I am heavy the whole world can see that I am heavy and my husband tells me I am not and then gets out snacks and trys to manipulate me into eating them. And because food is my greatest weakness it works. Even my MIL who tells me and my husband all the time that I need to lose weight made us 3 lbs of fudge for the holidays. Really 3 lbs? I know she is trying to be nice but she knows as well as anyone how hard I have been working and how much temptation this is for me. Sigh....I feel like I will never overcome all the obstacles I have to lose weight and I REALLY want to change my life.

hpsnickers1

I know this well. I go to the store and don't buy chips, cookies, sweets, etc. The he comes home with potato bread and all kinds of chips because he gets them for free.

He will learn the hard way because he hasn't been working due to weather and he sits all day yet eats nothing then I come home and he starts pigging out - like a half a bag of chips in a sitting. I have told him why but in one ear an out the other.

His ex brother-in-law used to push bad food on his sister because he was afraid if she got too slim then she would leave him and go find a better man. Well, that didn't work but she left him anyway.

ellumi

Ok, I see that this post hasn't been updated in awhile but searched for spouse sabotage and stumbled here and feel like I need to vent. My dear husband is one of 'those'...he can eat ANYTHING and stays thin. I have the strength to overcome temptation and do pretty well but dang if he doesn't try to tempt me. He is very well intentioned - he doesn't have insecurities about my weight loss, but will be the first to say he likes me with some curves. I like me with some curves...but there is a too-much-of-a-good-thing scenario going on!
Anyway...I've been struggling not because he likes to keep all the delicious things in the pantry but because he is constantly trying to get me to join him in late evening 2000 calorie "snacks". Tonight it was peanut butter brownies with cream cheese frosting....c'mon. I declined repeated offers and he seemed sad (for lack of a better word) that I didn't devour his oh-so-lovely brownies.
He tells me that I "don't need to lose any weight", like all good husbands do, but I know I need to continue. I also know that he just wants me to be happy, and relates happy to deliciousness...I guess I can understand that...but it makes me unhappy to be a fatty.
That's all...thanks for allowing me to rant.

MakingAChoice

Funny how this thread appears to all talk about their husband being the person doing the sabotage. My problem is with my wife, I love her to death and I think she is finally learning to not offer me things or pick up fast food for me. I started my calorie counting because my doc put me on a cholesterol med in addition to the blood pressure med I was already taking. Taking meds is something I hate to do. So adding a second med was the last straw for me. I am determined to get off the cholesterol med ASAP and hopefully the blood pressure one too.

Tonight was my birthday dinner and we went out to Applebee's (my choice of course) my wife actually told my kids that I would not want a cake or ice cream. WHOO HOO progress is being made!! She is finally learning that I will refuse to fall into the empty calorie trap again. Now if I could just get my wife and kids to follow my lead. Once I weigh less then her I am betting she will do something :laugh: My daughter is trying to log calories now, but us still making horrid choices for food. She had close to 2500 calories just at dinner. Why do that?!? I just don't get it anymore, all I can do is try to educate my family and hope they follow my lead I guess.

W0zzie

I'm with you mipsen

Same deal - my wife and boys don't make it any easier on me. Hope to rub off on them eventually...

ellumi

I am hoping that our kids will follow in a healthy lifestyle if we give them the tools. I am in charge of meal planning and grocery shopping at my house, so they are kind of at my mercy ;-) I have made significant changes without significantly changing the menu, so to speak. Cutting a lot of fat and calories by way of ingredient changes. They haven't really seemed to notice very much! They hate ground turkey, but don't seem to notice low fat/calorie dairy, etc. I've been bumping up the veggies and nobody is complaining!

Our kids like to snack so I just try to keep the healthy snacks well stocked - yogurt, skim string cheese, carrot sticks (even if they insist on dipping in ranch, since I've switched to low-fat), etc. Now if I could just get my husband to take his delicious sundaes in the laundry room or something, I'll be all set!! lol!

OrionsBell

Well, that is exactly why I'm here. Not only do I get NO support whatsoever from my husband, he makes every attempt to sabotage me. I need help. I went to a meeting, I won't say what weight-loss company it was, but the women there were already pals and very clique-ish, so that won't work for me. My husband loves to eat and brings home cakes, pies, and all kinds of treats. He even eats my tiny stash of "diet" food! Not to brag, but I am a pretty woman, and he is horribly threatened by the thought of me losing weight. I became an emotional eater because he is tough to live with and ignores me besides - It's all about HIM. I even have to cook all the meals, including his fattening favorites like chicken-fried steak, etc. When you cook all of that, it's hard to not want to enjoy it too. I tell him over and over again how detrimental that is to me, and unfair, but he doesn't care - It's his way or the highway, and if I don't do what he wants, he yells and pouts for days. Please you guys, this is my last chance. I need your help. In return, I will help you too on your journey. Love, me