second leg

pattycakes80

i am one frustrated cupcake.

i successfully lost a large amount of weight (currently 107); however, i am struggling HARDCORE with my second leg of this journey. I want to lose another 100 pounds, but i have noticed such an increase in motivation.

all the compliments, the smaller clothes, the faster speeds - it all went straight to my head and i am worried it is going to start going straight back to my booty if i am not careful. the summer straight up stalled my loss as a part of me felt i deserved throwing entire weekends away because it was the summer, it was a vacation, it was a holiday .. basically any excuse i could find.

i think the most frustrating point is that despite the changes i have made with structure, with exercise, with education regarding food, i am worried i am always going to be a fat girl at heart and never totally in control my weight/relationship with food.

i have a few options - i can wallow and eventually waddle again. or i can channel this frustration/anger into something more productive. but first i needed to be completely honest with myself that i am not longer working towards the goal i set out to achieve. working out sporadically and eating everythnig in sight on the weekend is not working towards weight loss. period.

i have demonstrated excellence in weight loss previously so i am know i am capable. and i know what i want, what i deserve and just how possible it is to achieve should i truly apply myself. i just need to figure out how to get back there.