Ridicule at the gym?

p_emmel5

I am new to the forum, but I have noticed what appears to be brought up quite often: Ridicule/ intimidation at the gym by other members.

Folks say they are intimidated when they are at the gym because of comments, actions, whatever by other members at the gym. Does this happen often? If somebody said anything negative to a member of the gym I belong to, I am 100% sure the owner would step in and either boot the intimidator or at least handle the situation. But.... the gym owner or his #2 guy are always on the floor. He doesn't have an office, his desk and computer are in the corner in the main gym area.

Anybody who says negative crap to a member, new or not, needs a hard calibration. What where they born with the perfect body and nutrition? We all started somewhere and it usually wasn't at the top. Some folks seem to forget where they came from.

It's one thing to be awed or "intmidated" by fit folks just by watching them work out, but you have to remember they were also a newbie at one time. And most serious gym rats are usually too busy working out to really give others a second thought. The dweebs that comment or try to intimidate are usually so insecure they feel the need to drag others down to their level.

Besides, screw the talkers, you aren't there for them you're there to surpass them. And eventually you will, since most of the talkers are doing just that.... talking.

Just my $.02 and personal opinion. Off my soap box now

ElectroJay

No one does that at my gym, from what I've seen. I'd like to see someone do that to me so I can trade it for a dumbbell to the head :P

nogreenthumb

The only comment I've ever received at the gym was from a man who came up to me while doing tricep pull-downs. He noted that my form was a little off, and wondered if I would be ok if he suggested an improvement. I welcome those helpful comments.

SpikeTailTurtle

I've never had that happen to me. Everyone at my gym has been really sweet. If I look confused trying something new they come over and offer to show me how but for the most part we are all in our own little bubbles. Everyone wears headphones except if someone came in a group and out interactions and typically limited to "You done with that?". I honestly heard so much about it that when I first started the gym I was terrified. But then I found (at least in my area) I've been going to this gym a year and never had a valid reason to feel intimidated and I've never been ridiculed. Even the scary looking body builder guys are really just giant teddy bears. Whenever I end up going out to the gym after 10pm if I'm not parked under a street light they offer to walk people out so no one has to go alone.

Shalva

I have never had anyone be mean at my gym, but I don't go to a fancy gym... we use our local ymca so there are all types of people there, young, old, heavier and fit... As a whole it is a really nice environment and most people are very nice .

33Freya

I think it’s extremely rare that someone would actually be ridiculed at the gym- most of those posts are about how the intimidated person sees others at the gym and assumes they’re being quietly ridiculed. This is sometimes catered to, like the rule at Planet Fitness that you can’t wear certain gym clothes for fear that your fitness will intimidate others.
That said, I have been intimidated in the past by the weight room especially, but it was my OWN issue (I pushed on and got over it), not anything that anyone else is doing to me- they were all just working out and mostly minding their own business.

For those who are intimidated at the gym, instead of imagining that they are ridiculing you for being overweight or not as fit as the others there; know that they are cheering you on! When I see someone who has a long way to go I think “Yeah! Good for you! GOGOGO!” as I do the same for myself. Most of the time though, remember that for others, it’s not about you- they’re thinking about themselves and getting through their own stuff for the day. Just get in there and do the same and you’ll be fine.

randomtai

I have never seen this at all... it seems like something that is self projected.

RedArizona5

I usually try not to look at IT that way, sure some are that way. There are plenty of nice people out there. I really do believe that if you approached those thoughts in a different way it would be like as if they aren't as bad as they are perceived..everyoone likes to help and likes to feel WANTED. I think if I needed help from the guys/gals that are helping random people would also help me if I needed input. But i GUESS for those reasons is why I never became a trainer or went to them for help and got to be fit on my own. I should be one but I just am not as out going as one thinks I can be.
If you went in with a mind set as if hey I know they will help me if i show them i mean what i say and am nice. Maybe they are hard headed and your good attitude will be infectious on to them. People love a smile and a laugh-that is always true. If you can just look at it that way its not so bad…..if it really gets to you that much I don't think their help would ever be of any need to you any ways. If your going into that situation already defeated is what i mean then thats not good. I do sense some of that too with the way you talk about it…just my opinion OP HOPE YOU CAN FIGURE SOME THINGS OUT

sti1imatic

Personally I think its great someone who is 'bigger boned' is out there trying to do something. We have a basketball court at my gym and those big guys play better than I do, so they must be doing something right!

sakuragreenlily

I remember reading a thread here one time where a girl said she was on the elliptical at her gym and two much fitter girls got on ellipticals next to her and proceeded to complain about how annoyed they were with all the "fatties" joining "their gym." The poster said she just choked back tears, finished her workout, and went and cried alone.

My first thought reading that thread was, "Is this real life?! Sounds like something out of Mean Girls!" My second thought was I probably wouldn't have remained quiet

enterdanger

I've never had any issues. I got to Planet Fatness. There is a fair amount of people who appear to be there to socialize and pick up the opposite sex. However, I look crazy when I exercise since I like to sing and dance on the elliptcal and treadmill when I'm exercising. People leave me alone.

Alluminati

I've never heard of people at the gym ridiculing others from friends, family, co-workers etc etc. I've only ever heard this on MFP. Only on MFP. Which doesn't surprise me.

refuseresist

I think most of it is done on the internet, rather than directly to the person at the gym. I wouldn't hear it anyway as I have headphones on

LAT1963

Honestly, I've heard more about *fears* of ridicule than any report of actual bad experiences. I think it must be pretty rare.

msbanana

I go to a "Big Box Gym" and I have never heard negative comments and I was going there while morbidly obese... As I went more often and as I got faster and stronger and fitter I did get comments but they were all positive.

I would get and still get things like:
"Damn- time for new gym clothes!"
"Wow! You're really strong!"
"Good form" or "Hey, drop your *kitten* on the dead lift it's shooting up, that's why you missed that lift."
"Need a spot?"
or just a high five.

And to be fair, these aren't the "average" gym goers. These are the body builder types that people tend to be intimidated by.In fact when I first started there were about 8-10 of these guys that all worked out together. They would come in and take over the dumb bells and mirrors (which was cool by me as they were doing flys with 110lb in each had).
One day I was talking to one of the guys as he was walking on the treadmill next to me, "So, you've always been pretty nice to me- but I was really intimidated coming in here. I was afraid that you all would judge me.Ya know, fatty running and all that..." And his was response was- "You do realize you're not fat anymore right? And even if you were, you're coming in and putting in the work. And we all have mad respect for that..."

TL;DR They may notice you, but you're coming in and putting in the work. *kitten* the haters.

k8161819

I have never been ridiculed at a gym, but I'm sure there are those trolls out there that like to bring others down so that they can feel better about themselves. I'm lucky that the gym that I attend has a main area for everyone and a women's only area where women who feel a little self conscious about working in the general area can do so in peace. In my experience, there have always been a lot of encouraging people at the gym. I always remember the other ladies cheering me on and helping me with my successes. It saddens me to think that other people might be discouraged from reaching their goals due to inappropriate comments from others. To anyone that has gone through that I say, screw them, be you and do what you want. They don't know you or what you are about. No matter what your reason for working out is, you should be doing it for yourself and no one else. Your only going to get praise and encouragement from this girl!

auddii

The only time someone speaks to me at a gym is to see if I'm using a particular machine or weights. I've never seen anyone ridicule anyone else either at the several different gyms.

I think most people fear what others are thinking not what they are saying. I'd say 90% of the people at the gym are focused on what they are doing, who they are talking to, or the book that they are reading. There are a few who silently judge, but you shouldn't assume that everyone is (or let it scare you away). I look at people at the gym. Typically I'm just looking around between sets and not even registering anything that the person is doing. Or I'm looking at form and comparing to my own and seeing if I need to make changes or improvements.

TLDR: I don't care enough about you to waste my time ridiculing you. No one else at the gym does either.

skinterz

Don't get involved with gym gossip.

Your there do to a job, get it done.

MinnieInMaine

I agree with those that say that mostly the intimidation is more self imposed. When you're overweight, obese or even thin but very out of shape, you may think that you'll be mocked, looked down on, etc but the so-called gym rats. Fact is, we all started somewehere. Most folks are at the gym to get *kitten* done and don't pay too much attention to anyone else. There may be some people watching between sets but most of is is benign. Even if they do think something negative about you, there's no way to know for sure so that stuff is all in your own head. There are those that come out and actually make negative comments but that says more about them being rude and ignorant. And in those cases, you either need to stand up for yourself and make a comment back or ignore it and realize it's not about you.

I've never received a negative comment at the gym. The only thing that bordered on that was concern from a staff member when they came to chat me up and my face was beet red from working hard on the elliptical. I'm just pale and get red easily, nothing to be concerned about...

Mostly the comments lean towards encouragement "wow, you killed that one" or the occassional tip like "get your butt down a bit more while planking" and the occassional joking tough talk "come on, you can do better than that". Then again my gym is at work so we have to get along.

ninerbuff

Working at gyms most of my life, I've RARELY seen it. There might be talk amongst friends behind other people's backs (not uncommon anywhere people are), but confrontation or insulting remarks aren't common.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

AliceDark

I've had exactly one person make a negative comment to me at the gym in the last 15(ish) years, and it was a guy trying to hit on me and just being BAD at flirting. (I like to zone out and listen to music while I lift, and he kept saying "you need to smile! You're bringing down the energy of the room!") For the most part, people are focused on their own workouts and not paying any attention to anyone else. Some people just like to imagine other people are watching them or judging them, so they can feel offended.

Otterluv

I have never seen this at all... it seems like something that is self projected.

This is my take, as well.

My gym is a powerlifters gym. It would be easy for a beginner to feel intimidated, even though the guys there are always willing to spot and are just happy to see others there working out. The feeling of intimidation is more about the beginner's insecurities, and not the other people working out.

hearthwood

I have exercised for decades--typically Jazzercise--but I have been to gym's too. I HAVE NEVER seen anyone ridiculed or intimidated because they were overweight. Most people are happy you're there, trying to take it off. And many in a gym will help you if you have a question, and some may speak up to try and help you if you're doing something wrong. (That's not intimidation or ridicule, it's just a concerned member helping out that's been doing it for a while--that is trying to keep you from injuring yourself.)

I think a lot of overweight people "think" that people are watching them--whispering behind closed doors in gym's about them, when it's really not happening. In fact, I think the gym is the LAST place you go to in your daily activities that you would be watched or ridiculed. Many of the members were probably fat at one time in their lives, and many are there for the same reason you are.

rsclause

Its like the first day of school when you are at a new school. You don't know anybody, don't know what to do and are terrified. It always possible to run into a jerk but I have never seen it happen.

ukaryote

enterdanger said:
However, I look crazy when I exercise since I like to sing and dance on the elliptical and treadmill when I'm exercising. People leave me alone.

Sounds great. I would appreciate a person at the gym who enjoys life so much. Almost all the people at my PF plug in the headphones and zone out. Boooring.

If the gym rats kept poking fun at me, I also would feel terrible and leave. Then I would cancel the membership, demand a refund and tell management the reason is abuse. When a business loses money, they take action

congruns

sticks and stones....

ClintonnGottaDoItAgain

I don't worry about what people are saying. I don't even care that they are watching me lift weights. I have on headphones and music to drown out all the gym noise and bantering. I have had people come up to me and talk to me because I'm not supposedly the normal average gym goer because I have a Physical Impairment. I'm not there to gawk or stare or look at women's a**** or whatever most of the dudes lifting free weights are doing. I've even noticed women continually walking around just trying to get noticed by the weight lifters. Planet Fitness has already had talks with a couple of women at my gym for "Flaunting" or "Causing Distractions" because of what they are wearing and how they keep walking around the gym. I am glad to see Seniors, Disabled Individuals, Special Needs Individuals at my gym because everyone has a right to be fit and healthy and not be judged while going through the motions. I am done.

rml_16

I have belonged to a few different gyms and this has never happened to me.

However, at the first gym I belonged to, every Saturday morning these two women would fight like crazy over one of the treadmills. They weren't nice to each other, but they left other people alone. It was entertaining.

JenAndSome

I have never seen this at any of the gyms I have been to. I'm sure it happens because not everyone in life is as nice as they should be, but I would hope that other people wouldn't stand for that. I would definitely speak up if I saw someone being picked on or intimidated.

xmichaelyx

Wear headphones & stay focused.

I would never know if someone at the gym had something to say - I'm in my own world.

randomtai

I don't worry about what people are saying. I don't even care that they are watching me lift weights. I have on headphones and music to drown out all the gym noise and bantering. I have had people come up to me and talk to me because I'm not supposedly the normal average gym goer because I have a Physical Impairment. I'm not there to gawk or stare or look at women's a**** or whatever most of the dudes lifting free weights are doing. I've even noticed women continually walking around just trying to get noticed by the weight lifters. Planet Fitness has already had talks with a couple of women at my gym for "Flaunting" or "Causing Distractions" because of what they are wearing and how they keep walking around the gym. I am glad to see Seniors, Disabled Individuals, Special Needs Individuals at my gym because everyone has a right to be fit and healthy and not be judged while going through the motions. I am done.

This isn't judgemental at all... :noway: :noway: :huh: