I am not gonna have a pitty party.... but have to vent

Schellsisbacktoattack

Hi guys!

I was doing so well......then 3 wks ago happened....I need to be honest with myself.

i have not worked out for three weeks
I have been eating every thing and anything I've wanted, with no self control - theses past three wks.
I have not been taking care of myself the way I should be these past three weeks.

it seems like I do so well, then I hit this cray spell in my life and everything gets turned upside down.
I will not go on the scale, have not been on for three wks, and I know I gained weight because I can feel it when I walk, in my clothes...etc.

anyway, not that I got it out for all of MFP to see....
if anyone has any suggestions on how to keep focused through this journey, please share!

my "good" spells will last for a month or two, and then something will hit and everything is upside down, and I start eating ad again.

anyway, I just signed up to a gym tonight, so tomorrow morning I will be going to the gym, I have going to pick myself up and try try again....
please share suggestions on how I can keep the healthy habit.

thank you all in advance!

Delitebabe

I am in the same situation as you! I haven't logged my food accurately for about 4 weeks now because I stopped weighing my food so I don't know how much I am eating. I am too scared to step on the scale and thank goodness the battery is dead:) so it doesn't work and I eat anything and everything I feel like.

It is my first time trying to lose gradually over a long period, I usually crash diet, lose a lot in a short time and then gain it all back so it is my first time trying to do it right. It just feels sooooooo sloooooow for me and though I am determined to do it right, I get bored of weighing and logging every single thing. It is really difficult to develop a new habbit after all these years but I will keep on keeping on.

My suggestion:
I choose not to consider myself 'off the wagon' as is popularly said here because then it would mean that I stopped or gave up and would have to restart. I feel it is much easier for me to 'continue from where I left off' as though I just hit a little bump in the road than to actually feel like I failed and now have to start over. The little losses here and there will add up and one day when you add them up you realise you have lost so much since you started, which is very encouraging. Otherwise, you only see the little you lose before you fell off the wagon each time that you start over.

Anyway, the way to success is not to give up on the journey so I hope we meet at the finish line one day soon!

alereck

When that first day comes when you don't want to exercise you have to push thru it. Just get up and go. I find that exercise comes first, then food follows. If I have worked by butt off at the gym I'm not going to throw it away by overeating. For that reason I make my gym routine like it's my job, I have to go. Unless it's something I would call in sick for I get up and go. There hasn't been one day at the gym that I regret going but some that I didn't feel like making it in. Just do it!

Alatariel75

Here's my blog about why I don't think "motivation" is the way to go:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Alatariel75/view/a-slowly-changing-mindset-or-why-motivation-is-not-what-i-need-668330

paperpudding

When that first day comes when you don't want to exercise you have to push thru it. Just get up and go. I find that exercise comes first, then food follows. If I have worked by butt off at the gym I'm not going to throw it away by overeating. For that reason I make my gym routine like it's my job, I have to go. Unless it's something I would call in sick for I get up and go. There hasn't been one day at the gym that I regret going but some that I didn't feel like making it in. Just do it!

OP,yes you could do it this way

..is your goal to lose weight?

Because if it is, you could also take the view that you don't want to do gym and don't do it - just do walking or whatever.
And of course, adjust your calorie intake down accordingly.

If this is more sustainable for you, do it this way instead.

Allterrain_Lady

Life happens and, sometimes, for whatever reason, we let it get the best of us.
It might last a day, a few weeks. The point is to not let it last for a lifetime.

Those last 3 weeks don't define you. They are what they are. Focus on today and move on.

One "bad" decision, even a streak of "bad" decisions, doesn't have to be followed by yet another "bad" decision. Make one choice at a time. "Is this meal getting me closer to my goal or not?", "Is the laziness I feel before working out stronger than the regret I'll feel in two hours for not working out?"...

Sometimes, not working out and eat treats will actually be the right thing to do because we want to enjoy life. And, most of the time, eating right and move our body will be the right thing to do because we want to enjoy life for the longest time possible.

You've got this. Here for you, if needed.

xexagon

Focus on reducing stress. The past is over. You only learn from the present, what you're doing right now. Let it go and forget about tomorrow, just worry about this moment, and when you go to bed at night you can say I did the best I could. Dwelling on the past or into the future creates separation anxiety from this moment, so just be aware and try to enjoy yourself.

leomcdee

Hey lovely, ugh, I've been there, a couple years ago when trying to lose weight I'd last a week or two at a time. This time I'm really dedicated, and don't see it as a diet but a way of life. Nothing has changed, except my mindset.

I have not worked out for three weeks - That's OK, just put your gym clothes on and go today. I've had to force myself into a habit of doing *something* active every day, but the way I feel when I've done it - it's so worth the sweat and the effort. There's a reason they call it a natural high

I have been eating every thing and anything I've wanted, with no self control theses past three wks - Are you really restrictive with your diet when you're counting cals? Try to eat what you want but in moderation. Self control is an issue for me too, so I buy single portions of things like sweets, chocolate and crisps. I found after a few weeks of eating really well, a single portion was enough (before I'd binge and eat a whole packet of oreos in one sitting), I think it's a matter of re-training.

I have not been taking care of myself the way I should be these past three weeks - You deserve to take care of yourself, think how good it feels when you've given your body the nutrients it needs and put it through an awesome workout.

You can do this. Now is a great time to get back on track! Good luck

Genetic_Drift

I think the best thing about MFP is that every day is a new day. The counter resets and you start again fresh, every single day. No new day with a new counter judges you based on any other.

My advice is just to let go of the past. It is far simpler said than done, but it's liberating to do it. You're a human being and you will have bad days, bad weeks and maybe even longer. Accept that that's how that was but that today is new.

Don't focus on trying to have, say, at least a month of good habit. Just do something good today. Log your food and go for a walk. And enjoy the process; enjoy knowing that what you're doing today is contributing to greatness for you in the future.

MyRummyHens

My tips are:

1. Don't worry about the last 3 weeks, sometimes life happens. There are all sorts of thing which can throw a spanner in the works, it's making it through, picking yourself up and carrying on which is important.

2. Make sure that when you are logging that you aren't cutting your calories too hard. If you try and make up for over eating by cutting harder then you are more likely to set your body up for a binge/starve cycle. You need ENOUGH calories to survive on long term (think 6 months plus), just a little under what you need to maintain your weight. That's why as your get nearer and nearer goal weight that calorie deficit should ideally drop and drop. It is also easier to work in small/occasional amounts of the things you really like with a smaller deficit and that is usually enough to stop most people from going crazy and eating everything in sight for weeks on end.

3. With regards exercise, firstly pick something you enjoy doing, that really makes all the difference, try a different gym or drop the actual gym but just do classes etc. That's often why mixing up what exercise you do works, it's nothing to do with "confusing your muscles" but it's all about keeping you challenged, interested and invested, for some people this is more relevant than others. Also we all hit blocks and walls. I LOVE lifting, I LOVE how it makes me feel both during and after, but even with all that love I have the odd day I just feel like I'd rather collapse on the sofa and watch TV. You have to push through those days because as soon as you've done it you feel doubly great, great for the workout, and great for being firm with yourself and pushing through.

1stplace4health

I think the best thing about MFP is that every day is a new day. The counter resets and you start again fresh, every single day. No new day with a new counter judges you based on any other.

My advice is just to let go of the past. It is far simpler said than done, but it's liberating to do it. You're a human being and you will have bad days, bad weeks and maybe even longer. Accept that that's how that was but that today is new.

Don't focus on trying to have, say, at least a month of good habit. Just do something good today. Log your food and go for a walk. And enjoy the process; enjoy knowing that what you're doing today is contributing to greatness for you in the future.

"Start again fresh, every single day."

i love that about MFP!

Biggirllittledreams

When that first day comes when you don't want to exercise you have to push thru it. Just get up and go. I find that exercise comes first, then food follows. If I have worked by butt off at the gym I'm not going to throw it away by overeating. For that reason I make my gym routine like it's my job, I have to go. Unless it's something I would call in sick for I get up and go. There hasn't been one day at the gym that I regret going but some that I didn't feel like making it in. Just do it!

OP,yes you could do it this way

..is your goal to lose weight?

Because if it is, you could also take the view that you don't want to do gym and don't do it - just do walking or whatever.
And of course, adjust your calorie intake down accordingly.

If this is more sustainable for you, do it this way instead.

I totally agree! If you find it hard to sustain a lifestyle that includes going to the gym, then quite frankly you don't desire going to the gym. That's TOTALLY okay, because there are SO many forms of exercise that exist outside of the gym! Find one that works your body while you also enjoy yourself. If you don't enjoy something, then you're not going to find yourself motivated to even work towards doing such.

Hell. I love working out, but a lot of machines in the gym make me just immediately groan with dread. I LOVE running, but something about running on a treadmill just doesn't tickle my fancy. So, i run when i'm in the mood, and otherwise rather stay active at work, or do things like yoga, hooping, etc., for my cardio and muscular training.

smetka01

I found out that it doesn't matter how many times you fall. All that matters is that you pick up yourself after that. The sooner the better. Weight yourself. I used to do same as you but lying to yourself doesn't help. On the contrary - truth is what keeps me going. I used to think one cheat day is the end of the world and stopped with my diet. Not truth - you can always get back on track.

Find workout you will look forward to. I hate workout classes (trainers switch too much and some of them I couldn't stand, wasting time with travelling to gym bothers me and not to mention it costs a small fortune!) but love workout dvds. Ok, not all of them of course

Also find diet you could do till the end of your life. I eat everything I want as long as I am on my daily calorie limit. It works as a charm

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

pamelas9

Self control is an issue for me too, so I buy single portions of things like sweets, chocolate and crisps. I found after a few weeks of eating really well, a single portion was enough (before I'd binge and eat a whole packet of oreos in one sitting), I think it's a matter of re-training.

Yep, self control at the grocery store. If you don't have it when the mood strikes, you can't eat it. If you really, really want it you have to decide if it's worth the effort of going out.. and if the grocery store is 1/2 mile away, walking to and from can offset not just the craving (true story) but at least lessens the blow of giving in.

I also agree that if your 'good' habit is too restrictive to foods you love the 'screw-it-all-I-am-not-doing-this-****-anymore' attitude comes hard and fast. I can wipe out two months of good steady loss in one long weekend. And have. Repeatedly. Sometimes the metric fails and you just need the damn chocolate bar.

Don't focus on trying to have, say, at least a month of good habit. Just do something good today. Log your food and go for a walk. And enjoy the process; enjoy knowing that what you're doing today is contributing to greatness for you in the future.

This exactly.

With regards exercise, firstly pick something you enjoy doing, that really makes all the difference, try a different gym or drop the actual gym but just do classes etc.

Ugh. I hate all exercise. There is literally nothing that I enjoy doing in the body that I have except sleep. So this approach doesn't do it for me. Like it or not, want to or not, you just have to do it. If you are a schedule oriented person just put it on there every day and when the time comes make the grownup choice. You can do that, I know it. If you aren't into personal schedules, try making some dates with lots of different friends to do something active. Just being a little more active will help you get back in the mindset.

Most of all the next time you hit this kind of setback, let it go. Don't fall into the "well I didn't exercise yesterday, I'm failing again, so why bother today" cycle. We've been there, easier said, blah blah.. Challenge yourself, reward small victories.

The next time I make it through a weekend (my tough binge time, with the hubs) on target I get a professional mani/pedi... I even have the gift card sitting in my purse. No matter what happens, I'm not getting it until I make it through a weekend on task. Two weeks ago I was like 1800 calories over for the weekend, last week I had it down to 1200.. and there was a birthday party. This weekend I might make it.

You CAN do this.

blondefury72

Im there too i had lost a bunch then had surgery and put more back on and had a huge pity party for my self and on again off again sucks Im back on but my choices in food are bad but staying in my calories for the most part but i need the will power daily to choose better foods its so unbelievably hard some times i do better daily but i have a long way to go so good luck Im behind you cheering ya on

MyRummyHens

Ugh. I hate all exercise. There is literally nothing that I enjoy doing in the body that I have except sleep.

Have you tried ALL exercise? Every exercise out there? Do you keep trying new things?

Walking and other low impact options all count as exercise and are generally more acceptable than high impact stuff to those who aren't keen on exercise generically. There is loads you can do to keep moving. Walk the dog an extra block, walk the kids to school, go for a stroll in your lunch break rather than sitting etc. Keep trying new things though, you may well find something you fall in love with, if not now then in a few lb time. You never know, you might find something your amazingly good at.

Some people love the feeling of exercising, for others it's about finding something fun (roller blading, canoeing, dance classes, climbing) and the physical benefits just comes with it. If you are a social butterfly then pick something you can either do with friends, or join a class/group and make some more friends that way.

Liftng4Lis

Pick yourself up, dust off and get back to it! You're the one that has to "want" this, you have to put in the work. Just DO IT!

dj1skywalker

Here's my blog about why I don't think "motivation" is the way to go:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Alatariel75/view/a-slowly-changing-mindset-or-why-motivation-is-not-what-i-need-668330

This was GREAT to read...thank you for sharing!! xx

dj1skywalker

Focus on reducing stress. The past is over. You only learn from the present, what you're doing right now. Let it go and forget about tomorrow, just worry about this moment, and when you go to bed at night you can say I did the best I could. Dwelling on the past or into the future creates separation anxiety from this moment, so just be aware and try to enjoy yourself.

^^ I love this :flowerforyou:

sherambler

It's like you're reading my mind. This is the exact thing I'm struggling with. I just try to make my "bad spells", as you call them, a little shorter each time. Even though it doesn't feel like it, this is progress because it's different from what you've always done. I also try to force myself to log, even if I can only manage one meal. It's better than not logging anything, soon enough I've picked the habit back up again.

You might want to look into therapy, OA, or some other type of formal external commitment that will hold you accountable and give you tools.

I agree with many of the above. Stress reducing might be key. Scheduling my time--homework, work, volunteering, exercise, TV---helps a bit and allows me to more clearly see what else I can take on or what I have to pass on, though it is also sometimes hard to stick to the schedule. It's about building your perseverance one day at a time and not falling into absolutism (i.e., if i don't eat right every day then I've failed.) Weight loss is not black and white. I often find my time off increases when I let guilt and shame sink in. It's easy to harp on the negative, but finding some positive in what you've accomplished can motivate you to want to do more.

I also try to always be reading a book or a weight loss magazine or get emails for blogs I'm following, this sometimes helps with keeping me focused, which can shorten the cycle.

For awhile, I had post-its for reminding to log around the house and weight loss affirmations. Sounds hokey, but it did work. I changed them regularly to keep them fresh and so they didn't fall to the wayside.

I've gone from not doing anything for six months at a time to maybe a couple of weeks to even a couple of days or just a couple of meals sometimes. It takes time.

bradsbaby1996

I like to say this.... the only time you will ever fail is when you don't try again!! It's very true.. yesterday is gone and tomorrow will take care of itself! Just worry about setting your mind to today!

I don't know if this will help ya but maybe.. I am very committed to exercise. . I lift and run about 6 days a week.. night before last I was doing cartwheels, round offs, and hand stands with my daughter (I am 35).. so yesterday I was sooo sore that I decided to take a rest day.. this morning I get up, get my workout clothes and shoes on and start my lifting.. I was doing squats (55 lbs) and thought I needed to go lower.. I lost my balance, fell on my concrete porch on my butt bone that happens to be very bony and I have broken it before.. I just knew I was hurt bad.. I slowly got up, felt like I was ok, finished my workout and ran a 12 minute mile! Not bragging, but since I rested yesterday, I could not let myself miss today too unless I really was hurt!!

I have lost 110 pounds. . The struggle is real! Some days I feel like quitting. . But I would be right back where I started and that is not worth it to me!!

You can do this.. believe in yourself!

Miss_1999

First of all, this is a success because you're admitting that you've struggled. You know that things haven't been going the way you'd like, and that you don't know what to do. This is the good news. Let go of the past. There's nothing you can do about it. It's over. Stop beating yourself up for what you did yesterday. Last week. Last month. Last year. Today is a new day. Focus on what you WANT to do. Unfortunately, **** is gonna happen. We're ALL gonna have bad days. Even bad weeks. The main thing is, that they don't win.

Sit down and evaluate what's going on. Are you eating more due to stress? Or making choices that are putting extra pounds on due to stress? It's not uncommon for people to turn to the one thing that's always been a "comfort" in times of stress. For some, it's food. If this is the case, it's good to recognize this, so that when you are stressed, you know this is the "old stand by" so to speak, and to begin looking into new positive coping/comfort skills when you're stressed. I know it's not an overnight thing, but it's possible.

If this isn't the case, and it's just a motivation thing from having a few bad days, then those bad days turning into a bad week, and having a hard time "getting back to it" so to speak, that's one great thing about being here. Start making it a priority to log your food, no matter how good or bad of a day you've had. It will keep you accountable, and keep you motivated. If you had a bad day, you had a bad day. Don't beat yourself up. No one is perfect. Tomorrow is always another chance to get it right. Don't ever give up because it was a bad day. Don't feel like you have to be running marathons or walking for hours, either. Do what you can do. It's about your personal best and health. The thing that matters most is that you're doing it for YOU! I'm proud that you're wanting to help yourself, and I believe YOU can do it!