fattest girl in school

traceyandelliemay

At the age of 10 I had a split family both my parents had addiction and me and my younger sister were stuck in the middle of my mum and dad's bitterness to each other we lived with my Dad who couldn't cook to save himself so our diets consisted of mostly deep fried take outs. I became quite overweight i always got picked on at school and then it started at home it totally broke my heart my Dad made me run around the paddocks. Then when my mum called me fat I was shattered ever since then I've had an issue about my weight. The first diet I tried to go on was eating dry pasta keep in mind people I was 10 and yes I know better now. I also walked the dog long distances and started eating salads when I had the option. All I wanted was to be thin for my parents approval. At 11 my mum took me to a Chinese herbalist about my weight and he gave me a tea to drink twice a day it gave me diarrhea my first laxative to loose weight.... when the tea ran out i began skipping lunch while i was at school sometimes i would forget to throw it out or give it to the dog and when my dad found it all mouldy i would get beaten up for wasting money, it was easy for me to skip meals at school because we lived in a poor area where a lot of kids didn't have lunches. At 12 i tried sticking my fingers down my throat a few times i didnt like it but i was so desperate to b thin and beautiful. When i was i didnt last very long at making myself vomit not long after that I began an extreme exercise routine of doing 100 reps of different exercises in my room before bed because I was too ashamed to let anybody know whatafat girl was doing. However this extreme routine brought on an uncontrollable hunger so I began eatimg a lot. I stuck at it and didn't mind to much about the hunger and let myself eat whatever I wanted as long as I exercised at night. It was a win win my Dad wasn't beating me up over moldy lunches anymore cause I actually ate them.
Then at 14 I moved in with my mum she told me I needed cigarettes so I began smoking them with her. They made me feel nauseas and took away my constant hunger for food so I kept them up . A month after I started I got really sick spwwing and dry wretching for a few days it was from smoking my mum also got me into marijuana and some other powder drugs and I took them thinking yay I'll be skinny like a drug addict. It worked... I remember getting high with my mum and her friend and they were going on about my fat bum people I've seen photos since and I know I was a pretty normal 14 y.o girl. Not long after that day mum put me on a diet and my only food was a piece of Vogels toast and a multivitamin. She convinced me this was all I needed and that shed done it for years. I went along with it and then the sticking my fingers down my throat returned and this time it didn't bother me so much anymore. This carried on for 4 years at 17 I finally got clean from hard drugs after my addiction ruined all my schooling. Which I'm now resiting and passing. I'm 26 now coming up 27 I haven't stuck my fingers down my throat since my nearly 5y.o was a baby I still struggle with laxative abuse on and off. I know laxatives don't make u loose weight. They really don't. I'm 10 months and counting free from cigarette addiction I did put 10kgs on In my quit but with the people Ive met on here I'm getting rid of it the healthy balanced way I'm actually learning about moderation thanks to mfp. my mum passed away in march 2013 to suicide I suspect it was the addiction and eating disorder which really tipped her over the edge as she had been drinking and abusing prescription drugs when she did it I haven't smoked dope since my mums passing and I've drunk a handful of times since. being a mother myself I couldn't imagine giving my daughter drugs or cigarettes or starving her or hurting her making fun of her for getting overweight I amobsessive about hher eating healthy and yes we both take multivitamins but we eat more than a piece of toast I'm still learning to feed her so I check on what other kids have in their lunch boxes for ideas. I now live with a loving man who loves me regardless of what I weigh or look like. he's a good man and comes from a good country family its like my happily ever after ae feel free to add me if u can relate to this story or as a friend:)
P.s don't get me wrong I still love my parents and I have a butterfly tattoo on my wrist to remind me everyday that my mum is now free like a beautiful butterfly. I still have a lot of mixed feelings about mums passing so forgive me if it came across like bad mouthing my mum it wasn't intended that way at all. She was a beautiful person and my daughter loved her too

morbidjezebel

Oh sweetie. Your post made me tear up. You went through so much, and yet you're still trying to live a healthy life and be a great mother. It amazes me that we have so much in commen, especially our backgrounds. I admire you for being able to tell your story. I look at you, and you give me hope. I know I've told you that before, but it's true. You're a beautiful soul. (And a beautiful person). Stay strong. You may never really get over your mum, but it sounds like you're trying to work through it. Keep being a great mom to your little girl and stay strong, even through the storms! You've made it this far, and that is something to be proud of! Love you lots!!
P.S. I've thought about a butterfly tat on my wrist. Since it's meaning is anti self harm. When I want to cut, I could look at my wrist, and think twice.

traceyandelliemay

Your so sweet jeezy! Xo! Really wow I never knew about the butterfly meaning anti self harm that's such a beautiful concept! Totally get one hun it could be a gift to yourself and an act of self love xoxoxo.

Mindfreak1999

Cannot believe what you have gone through at such a young age. You have come to the right place for support and motivation,
Good luck on your quest to a healthier you and remember:

Life is not a rehearsal, you only get one chance, so treat each day as if it is your first.

Good Luck

sofulnaturalee

Your story is very inspiring. You are a strong beautiful woman. Keep you the good work luv.

Leanne3552000

Wow. You are a strong strong woman to come out of all of that as the woman you are today. You're an inspiration. I'm so pleased things are looking up for you. You deserve it. xo

traceyandelliemay

Wow u guys are so beautiful xxx thanks for the quote meditation I will try to remember that and live it xo