Family taking diet pills

ponycyndi

Not looking for advice, just need to vent. 2 different people I care about are taking diet pills. One friend who has been "dieting" (not really) for years, and just told me a few days ago, she's gained 10 (more) lbs, and is at the weight she was when we started dieting together in 2013. Now she spent $50 on diet pills. It's not the first time. The last 4 kinds she wasted hundreds on didn't work either (obviously, or she wouldn't still be dieting)

Also, my mother is about to retire, and has an Apple shape from having 7 kids that never went away. (The youngest is 24) she told me she was dieting in Jan, lost 18 lbs by May, but stalled on her loss after that. and she just told me she bought a 90 day supply of "belly burner" and thinks she doesn't have to change her diet.

I feel bad (some kind of guilt?) Because here I am in the best shape of my life, and several sizes smaller than all the rest of my family, and also healthier- some of my overweight family have serious health problems, some because of their weight, and some that make working out a serious hurdle.

So I've been trying for a year and a half to be a good example, and not brag or be miss know-it-all when it comes to health or weight loss, but it feels like a waste when I see people I love put poison in their body, or best case, waste time and money and put their hopes in something that won't work.

jonmscharff

Well...consider it vented!

uconnwinsnc1

Some people don't have any idea what they are doing. People make weight loss much more complicated than it is.

redskiednight

If it makes you feel any better, my mother was prescribed diet pills which do actually work and are 100% legitimate (which people would probably do anything to get their hands on) they block fat intake in the gut - lost a few stone and then stopped taking them because 'they make my stomach hurt a bit' and piled it all back on. I despair!

She had one of the only few 'magic' pills in existence and couldn't even do that :grumble:

It's all we can do to be the poster children of healthy diet and exercise - no fads!

lmr0528

You have no control over what they decide to do. Good for you for doing it the healthy way, and not trying to take the easy way out.

zoeysasha37

I understand exactly where your coming from. A member of my family does the same thing, they have known me at my heaviest, and saw my transformation. But yet they still try Every fad, Dr oz, low carb, whatever wacky pill is nee and so on. It's so hard to watch, because we know the answer to their problems. But I think it comes down to the fact that not everyone is ready to face reality. It's easier for them to hold on to some crazy Hope that the quick fix will work and they won't actually have to put in the work necessary to have a healthy lifestyle and lasting results.
I simply state the way I feel, for example, " those pills won't work. You need to eat at a deficit and you'll lose weight" and leave it at that, if they want more information, they will ask. It's very hard not to be the know ~ it ~ all and pick apart every aspect of their new plan. I just cringe when thinking about it, but have came to the realization that it won't help them out any, because they aren't ready.

trinatrina1984

I think you can only gently / subtly advise them, if they are not ready to do it 'properly' then I think you just have to let them get on with it. In my experience something just clicked and I started taking it seriously(ish) maybe they havent got to that stage yet.

Trueray

Biggest waste of money.

ponycyndi

I understand exactly where your coming from. A member of my family does the same thing, they have known me at my heaviest, and saw my transformation. But yet they still try Every fad, Dr oz, low carb, whatever wacky pill is nee and so on. It's so hard to watch, because we know the answer to their problems. But I think it comes down to the fact that not everyone is ready to face reality. It's easier for them to hold on to some crazy Hope that the quick fix will work and they won't actually have to put in the work necessary to have a healthy lifestyle and lasting results.
I simply state the way I feel, for example, " those pills won't work. You need to eat at a deficit and you'll lose weight" and leave it at that, if they want more information, they will ask. It's very hard not to be the know ~ it ~ all and pick apart every aspect of their new plan. I just cringe when thinking about it, but have came to the realization that it won't help them out any, because they aren't ready.

I do bite my tongue, because I'm sure this is true = they just aren't ready.

amaysngrace

They want a quick fix. Nevermind, that they know that you did not lose all this weight overnight, but yet, they want to try to find the easy way out or cut corners. They are not ready to put in the effort and dedication it takes to make it a permanent lifestyle change. My uncle swears that I am on a "diet" when I come over for the holidays and help myself to a piece of pie or something. He says you are going to mess around and get back fat again. How? The difference between us and them is that we know what's going into our mouths and if we can afford to eat it or not, whereas they are not counting calories or keeping a diary of what they are eating, so how do they know?

ponycyndi

I think you can only gently / subtly advise them, if they are not ready to do it 'properly' then I think you just have to let them get on with it. In my experience something just clicked and I started taking it seriously(ish) maybe they havent got to that stage yet.

I remember feeling like it "clicked" for me too. And even though it was "slow", ie, 1-2lbs a week, it was ok in my mind. Before that, I just wanted to be skinny TODAY.

ponycyndi

They want a quick fix. Nevermind, that they know that you did not lose all this weight overnight, but yet, they want to try to find the easy way out or cut corners. They are not ready to put in the effort and dedication it takes to make it a permanent lifestyle change. My uncle swears that I am on a "diet" when I come over for the holidays and help myself to a piece of pie or something. He says you are going to mess around and get back fat again. How? The difference between us and them is that we know what's going into our mouths and if we can afford to eat it or not, whereas they are not counting calories or keeping a diary of what they are eating, so how do they know?

I don't know why, it just feels more personal for some reason.

My mom I don't see often, but now that I've seen her 4 times in 3 weeks, suddenly needs pills.

My friend I haven't seen in 2 months, and the week before she's going to visit me, she needs pills again.

Perksy80

Some people don't have any idea what they are doing. People make weight loss much more complicated than it is.

So true. It is as simple as burn more calories than you consume. Pills make temporary changes to the body, but as soon as you stop taking them the weight goes on again unless you fundamentally change your behaviours.

As hard as it may be, you just have to accept the some people aren't going to put the same effort in as you and therefore won't see the long term benefits. I imagine we have all been in a place where we knew something wasn't good for us, but that feeling was outweighed by the bad thing we desired. Whether it's food, somoking, drugs, alcohol or whatever. The only way they will do it the right way is when they have that moment in their own heads when they really want to do it.

When I smoked there was nothing worse than having an ex-smoker tell me I should give up and then list all the reasons why they feel better for it. I knew the damage it was doing, but my desire for smoking was stronger. Only when I was ready did I stop. The same with losing weight, only when in my head I was ready.

You can't force others to make the same decisions as you, but you can support them when they are ready. Voice your concerns but be careful not to push it. Until they are ready they will just become more stubborn and push against you more. I'm sure we can all remember a time we have done that.

Well done on your journey, though. Sounds like you have made the permanent changes, and you should never feel guilty about it. You should feel proud

Spreyton22K

Ah I feel you on this subject. I too have numerous family members who are in fairly dismal physical shape.....they are mostly younger than me and they struggle with a lot of extra weight as well as being miserably inactive.

I worry that those I love are going to either get a weight related illness/condition or even die of some problem associated with taking these bloody supplements......some of them are just magical ground up fairy dust......but others have some awful scary side-effects.

It is very hard to walk the line of trying your hardest to do the right thing with diet and exercise and God knows I am far from 'perfect'....and that then seems to be a point of contention and grudge as another poster said....it is often the case at Family gatherings where what I put in my mouth comes up for discussion and scrutiny.

My best wishes go out to everyone, esp. the OP as we try and navigate these waters.....I feel pretty much the only thing that is worth saying to everyone who asks me is ..."Have you heard of MFP.....and counting calories?" and if they seem interested take it from there.

RockstarWilson

Your friend may just be a weak person who doesn't want to put in the work for something real. Usually actions reflect personalities, so can I guess that she probably hasn't worked hard for anything in her life? If I am wrong, I apologize, but if I am right, then you can't fix it. And she has probably always been intimidated by you, due to this idea. Hence, the need for an emergency water unload so those smaller jeans can fit.

As for your mother....I do know two things: 1. You can't tell a retired person how to spend their money- ever! This is more true when it comes to family hehe. If you decide to press the issue, you will most likely be met with adversity. And 2.When it comes to this stuff, she will have to learn the hard way what works and what doesn't, just like the rest of us (although, I never took diet pills)

pander101

I think a lot of people go through a phase where all they want is instant gradification. Whether it comes from a crash course diet or a pill they want results the easiest way possible. They don't want what they think will be a negative impact on their life. You'll just have to let them crash and burn. I went through that phase and then it just finally clicked.

libbydoodle11

Others have to walk their own path. It is a bummer when there is not a thing we can do about it. I bite my tongue when my family is around complaining of their health issues as well. My mom once told me she cancelled her membership at the gym because they had a few stairs. She told me her doctor said to avoid stairs because of her hip and knees. I think he meant a flight or two not one or two at the entrance of the building. I feel your pain.