Bobby Bare, diet song words

trm68

Breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die

So pass me a carrot stick, peel me a prune. a glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial, it's drivin' me right up the wall
And I'm thinkin' of french fries, sausage and waffles, spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream
And I'm starvin' to death when I wake

Supper two pieces of cauliflower raw, some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato, a small dab of slaw, I swear I ate better in jail

Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl, that's the least you can do
Put down that candy bar while I'm singin' ,I'm starvin' my pants off for you
You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me

Hey you got a lock on the refrigerator, Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
While I'm starvin' for food late at night ,I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
But you say that when I can see my own xxxx you'll be glad to look at it too
So pass me a carrot stick, peel me a prune ,a glass of skim milk and that's all

You and Jane Fonda and old Richard Simmons are drivin' me right off the wall
Now when I am dead, with the insurance paid ,you'll look down at me and you'll grin
You'll say well the boy tried ,and he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin oh my
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' , sure is a rough way to die
:ohwell:

RodaRose

That's cute. He does a good job.

trm68

Food blues song by Bobby


I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant
When the waiter came up and said what do you want
I looked at the menu and it looked so nice
Till he said lemme give you some advice.

He said spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch
Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart
There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal
Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal.

Bread got preservatives there's nitrites in ham
Artificial coloring in jellies and jam
Stay away from donuts run away from pie
Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die.

Sugar rots your teeth and makes you put on weight
But artificial sweetener's got cyclamates
Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese
Coffee ruins your kidneys and so does tea.

Fish got mercury, red meat is poison
Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin'
Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides.

So I said what can I eat that's gonna make me last
He said a small drink of water in a sterilized glass
And then he stopped and he thought for a minute
And said never mind the water, there's carcinogenics in it.

So I got up from the table and walked out in the street
Realizin' there was nothin' I could eat
I ain't eaten for a month and I'm feeling fine
'Cause he did not mention beer, whiskey, women and sweet red wine...