Embarrassed to be seen running!
Replies
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Don't worry about it. Real runners will be supportive and any that give negative comments are not worth paying attention to.
I suggest that you go to a 5K or 1/2 marathon race--you will see people of all shapes and sizes running. Not surprisingly, most of the runners at the head of the pack are slender (helps them to be wicked fast!), but there are people of all sizes running all paces.
Read ThickMcRunFast's guide to starting running, which is now a sticky at the top of the fitness forum. I wish I read it when I started. She has great advice.0 -
PLEASE go do a search on "fatty running on the Westview track". I re-read it EVERY time I go work out in public.
Am I the only person who finds this incredibly gross? From the patronizing tone, to the ridiculous suggestion that the runner must be paying off a "debt." Maybe the other runner is avoiding the author's gaze because he's a damn creeper who is judging his or her every move? I don't see how this is supposed to make a person feel better about exercising in public. Instead, it seems to confirm people's worst fears: other people are judging.
To the OP:
I struggled with this in the gym at first, walking in weighing more than 300 pounds wearing big tshirts and pajama pants. I could have been ashamed or felt self-conscious. Instead, I simply decided to not give a *kitten*. I didn't care if people were judging or staring or mocking. I had a job to do, and I was there to do it.
Turns out no one stared or mocked, and if they judged - I still don't give a *kitten*. My workouts have exactly nothing to do with them. There were certainly times other gymgoers commented to me - but it was more of a "wow, I see you here all the time and your transformation is stunning" - nothing like the "dear fatty" letter above.
And just so you know, now that I no longer weigh 300 pounds and I am one of those fit runners out there, I smile at runners I pass and don't think a thing about whether they're unfit or overweight or anything like that. The way I see it, we're all in it together.0 -
Imagine there was someone--let's call him Karl--who was an illiterate adult. At some point he got sick and tired about how his inability to read and write was holding him back, and he decided to do something about it.
So now he goes to the public library and studies. Mostly children's books for now, with plenty of pictures. It's pretty obvious to anyone seeing him there what he's doing and why.
Now imagine that you walk into the library to pick up a book for yourself to read. Answer these three questions:
1.) Would you even notice Karl in the first place? (Probably not.)
2.) If you did notice him, would you think to yourself "Ha, ha! What an idiot! I am so superior to this loser!" Or would you think "How awesome that he's doing this for himself!" (I would hope the latter!)
3.) In any case, should Karl give a rat's red *kitten* what you or anyone else thinks about what he's doing, positive or negative? Should any of it discourage him or sway him from his path to self-improvement? (Certainly not!)
Same thing with your running. Most people won't even notice you or care that you're running. Of the few who do, most will be supportive and think you're going a great thing. A few jerks won't, but that's life. In the end, "what other people think", doesn't matter one bit. You're doing this for you, and you're correct to be doing it.
The only way to get ahead in life--whether it's health, career, music/art/dance, or love--is to gleefully risk looking like a complete schmuck. :-)0 -
Looks like I'm wearing a tutu for part of a marathon next month. Don't wanna hear it0
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“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
OP, I hate to break this to you but...you're probably just not that important to the vast majority of people who are too busy dealing with their own stuff internally to notice what you are doing.
Now run.
Run like the wind!0 -
The only way to get ahead in life--whether it's health, career, music/art/dance, or love--is to gleefully risk looking like a complete schmuck. :-)
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If you want to do it just get yourself a good sports bra and put your music on, and go for your run no one cares at all. You can do it. x0
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Don't worry about it, I don't necessarily run but I am out walking 3 - 5 miles every day and I see a lot of the same people out walking and running, yeah I am out of shape, but I am out there trying and just last night one of them came running by me and gave me a high 5 and said that he was proud of my dedication to be out here every day and doing something, I don't even know the guy but I can't tell you how good that made me feel. You will be surprised at the support some of these people will give you if they see you out there on a consistent basis working as hard as you can.0
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PLEASE go do a search on "fatty running on the Westview track". I re-read it EVERY time I go work out in public.
I can't speak for non-runners but when I see someone starting out it reminds me that:
a) that was me 7 years ago (everyone starts somewhere)
b) you're making positive changes in your life
When the colder weather hit and I started going out in my running tights (that must have been a sight!) I very quickly realized that runners have become such a part of the urban landscape that we may as well be invisible.
Keep it up!0 -
I didn't read all the responses, so I apologize if this was already stated. When I run, I am in my own little selfish world trying to get fit and listening to my music. It's my happy time. I don't think I would think twice about anyone who runs past me.
However, that being said... and a bit contradictory of what I just said .... If I did notice an overweight person running, I would think "Good for them. They're working hard!" -- Because I was at one point that overweight runner.
Best of luck and enjoy. Exercise should be fun!0 -
I understand being self conscious, but I truly believe there are more people out there, who if they think of you at all, will think positive thoughts. For myself, whenever I see a runner of any condition I find myself thinking good for you, and I ought to be doing the same - think I'll get my butt out there later.
And if it helps, I feel especially proud of those newbies who are struggling with perhaps more weight. I know how hard a person has to work to achieve fitness and weight loss goals and the heavier we are starting out - well, my hat is off to the people with even bigger goals to achieve. Hold your head up and be proud for what you are doing for yourself. And you may even be encouraging someone out there who sees you. There will always be haters and unhappy people in this world. They have nothing to do with you. Good luck with your C25K! You can do this! 0 -
Hello,
I have just started the c25k and I know I shouldn't care what other people think but my biggest challenge seems to be getting over the embarrassment of running past people, especially other runners who are fit and slim. I am very overweight and unfit
I know I should focus on the positive (that I'm trying to change) and not care about others thoughts.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Just looking for a little encouragement
As an accomplished runner, I do not judge people as I pass them. In fact, I can empathize with their struggles as they strive to improve themselves. If those faster runners are thinking anything, they are thinking how good it is to see someone challenging themselves, regardless of their shape or speed.0 -
Remember that most people are too busy worrying about themselves to notice you. Those who do notice you are most likely thinking 'good for you'.
Those 'fit and slim' runners you see had to start somewhere and if you keep going you could soon be one of them. Keep going, it'll be worth it. And in the meantime crank up the music and go for it and don't worry about anyone else. :flowerforyou:
This 1000%0 -
You are running for you, not anyone else! In my race on Sunday, there were all types of athletes - professionals to first timers. Everyone encouraged one another, cheered for each other, especially for the people who were finishing towards the end of the race.
Keep up the great work....stay focused and you will be fine0 -
I was embarrassed at first too. Mostly because I am shy but the love of running got me thru any insecurities or worrying about what others thought. And, to be honest, I have NEVER seen another runner, walker, or biker on the path and thought negative thoughts about them no matter what their size, speed, abilities, etc. All I see are athletes and I acknowledge each one with a smile. We are all in this together!0
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First, great job & keep it up! :flowerforyou:
I often run or walk the paved paths in a nearby cemetery because I enjoy how peaceful it is and it's close to my house. As a bonus, there are very few (living) people in there to judge me. :laugh: Just a tip if you need a new location. Otherwise, get your run on and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!0 -
Many of us have been there... I've been a fat runner and a thin runner. When I was a fat runner I worried about people seeing me jiggle and pant... When I was a thin runner I worried about people thinking I was slow...
Until you give yourself more value, it won't matter if you are heavy or small, you will still feel uncomfortable. Runners (and bikers) are a special breed. Most could care less where you are in your journey (I hate that word) they are just happy to see you out there. They are genuinely proud of you and inspired by you because they know how hard it is to run with extra weight...
Now I consider myself a fit biker who runs, but I don't worry as much about what others think.
I'm still not super tight, I'm still not the fastest chick out there, but I am out there. My workouts have purpose and they are to make me stronger and healthier. When I see other runners: faster, slower, thinner, heavier, cruising or struggling... I give a nod, a wave or the occasional high five. I feel a bond of understanding. No matter where they are in the process they have had struggles and they know that some days the hardest distance to cover is from the door to the road...0 -
Chances are, those runners think what you're doing is awesome! When I first started running, I had an 80 year old man blaze past me on the trail. At first I was kinda butthurt, but he turned around and gave me a thumbs up and I felt really encouraged to keep going. Just keep on keeping on!! And good luck with your running, it's the best thing I've ever done for myself!!! :flowerforyou:
This for sure.
I've received the encouragement from the "fit" runners too. Truth be told, there will always be someone fitter, faster, stronger, or leaner than you. And the same holds true for them too. We're all runners in the end and the beauty is that we are all each others inspiration from the fastest to the slowest. Next time you pass a runner, smile and say hi. There is solidarity in running and, as solitary as it can be, we have a massive team and we're all winning.0 -
If the other runners out there are actually judging you, they aren't worth a thought anyway! Personally, when I see people getting off the couch and attempting to exercise, I think "good for them!". Do not feel embarrassed. Every runner started somewhere, those fit skinny people probably couldn't run a full mile when they started either, it takes training and determination. Know that if you ever passed me while running, in my head I'm thinking "good on you! Keep it up!"0
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I can not run. I'm afraid that I'm too crippled to run and have been for 26 years. I went into the US Army whole and came home with a limp. I will never run again (unless there is a Zombie Apocolypse). However, don't feel sorry for me. You should see me go around on my bike. I'm a definite nut and I love to zoom. My wife worries that I've finally gone around the bend. I bike on weekend, week nights, and early in the morning before the sun rises. I've watched the rain fall through the light on my bike while I've zipped around. I've lost 10% of my body weight over the summer and may well decide to lose another 10%.
I think what you should remember: You are very lucky. You can run. You are changing your life. Be proud. Be bold. And if anyone ever tells you different, suggest they can kiss your backside.0 -
Yeah, I worry about it for about 2 minutes, then I worry about being able to breathe
My two favorite quotes about this:
- You may be running slowly, but you're lapping the guy on the sofa.
- (From the back of a t-shirt):
I'm 50 years old
I'm 40 pounds over weight
I'm running very slowly
I'm ahead of you 0 -
I felt like that when I first went on a bike ride, especially when out with my OH as he's super athletic and can do ridiculous mph. But really, no one even notices - and there's this sense of great camaraderie where everyone waves and say hi and stuff. I also felt that way at the gym but no one's ever said anything to me.
I think it's one of those things where it's all in our own minds rather than anyone else's x0 -
When I just started the couch to five k last fall, I was running one evening (after rush hour and when it was getting dark because I didn't want people to see me). I was coming up to a younger guy (who was walking towards me) and the negative voice in my head started criticizing me. When I got closer I tried holding my breath so he wouldn't hear me huffing and puffing to keep my uber slow pace going he actually told me to keep up the good work & wished he was out running.
It helped me realize that the negativity I felt about exercising was all in my head. Nobody really cares what someone else is doing. If you catch someone giving you a look-- perhaps they are just envious that you are out doing something!
Remember if you are out doing something, you are already beating everyone else who is sitting at home!0 -
Run with a dog. No one will notice you.0
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What is the worst thing that could happen whilst your out running? At most someone could say something uncomplimentary and that's a reflection on them not you.
Imagine the different situations, work out your response and run with your head held high. You're doing a great thing, do not worry about anyone else!
This! I used to be so nervous when I first started walking/jogging (I was over 400 lbs, and I'm still over 300 lbs!). Yes I've had people say some nasty crap to me, but it's few and far between, and that just shows what kinda people they are. Don't let other people or the idea of other people intimidate you from goin' out and enjoying the fresh air. Once you're accustomed to it and doing it out of habit you'll be so glad you started :]0 -
I run about 25-30 miles a week. I can't tell you anything specific about anything in particular I pass while running. Don't worry about it, because we don't.0
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I'm embarrassed to be seen walking.... doing jumping jacks, squats, lunges, weight lifting, push-ups etc. You get the point. I honestly am, but I feel better aftwards.
Now, you're where I want to be, starting a C25K program, so know that I admire you and don't let your insecurities determine your success or lack there of. I'll be rooting for ya.0 -
You're not the only one who feels that way. This was supposedly written by the person running at the track:PLEASE go do a search on "fatty running on the Westview track". I re-read it EVERY time I go work out in public.
Am I the only person who finds this incredibly gross? From the patronizing tone, to the ridiculous suggestion that the runner must be paying off a "debt." Maybe the other runner is avoiding the author's gaze because he's a damn creeper who is judging his or her every move? I don't see how this is supposed to make a person feel better about exercising in public. Instead, it seems to confirm people's worst fears: other people are judging.
To the OP:
I struggled with this in the gym at first, walking in weighing more than 300 pounds wearing big tshirts and pajama pants. I could have been ashamed or felt self-conscious. Instead, I simply decided to not give a *kitten*. I didn't care if people were judging or staring or mocking. I had a job to do, and I was there to do it.
Turns out no one stared or mocked, and if they judged - I still don't give a *kitten*. My workouts have exactly nothing to do with them. There were certainly times other gymgoers commented to me - but it was more of a "wow, I see you here all the time and your transformation is stunning" - nothing like the "dear fatty" letter above.
And just so you know, now that I no longer weigh 300 pounds and I am one of those fit runners out there, I smile at runners I pass and don't think a thing about whether they're unfit or overweight or anything like that. The way I see it, we're all in it together.
To the man who judged me on the Westview track,
I see that you wrote a Facebook status about my journey and me. It described me on the track and from what I gather it was supposed to inspire after a little insult. It went viral.
So let me tell you what I think of your post…
First off I would suggest you not judge me at all. You have my journey all messed up. My journey did not start twelve days ago. It started over a year ago. You see me at 300 pounds but what you do not know is I was over 400 pounds. You did not know this because I was embarrassed to run in front of other people. So I would come to this track when no one else was around. Sometimes I would go for a couple of minutes. Sometimes I would go for four minutes. It all started when I went for 48 seconds my first time running. Yes, I timed it. Yes I was upset. And yes, I promised it would never happen again.
When I was over 400 pounds and decided to make the commitment to change my life I would wake up and look in the mirror. I would find at least 100 negative things about my body. All the descriptions you made about me…I was even harder on myself.
Then after losing a few pounds I looked in the mirror again. I did not look at my body. I looked in my eyes. I saw determination and character. I saw a man who did not want to be an inspiration for others but one for himself. I was that man.
Your whole post insults me like no end. I do not eat midnight snacks or drink beer. You probably think all “fat” people do this. Well, we do not. I ate better than most at 300 pounds. In fact, I have not had a drink in well over 20 years.
I look down because I see you stare at me all the time. I do not want to give you the satisfaction of looking into my eyes. There are people who were supporting me all along. Not people who made up fictional parts of my life.
I also do not listen to music because I hear everything. I hear the laughter and I hear the snickers. They are never about me except they always are. I have been overweight my whole life. I have not had my blinders on for some time.
There are no mantras going through my head. When I run it is clear. I have no anger or happiness. I am there to complete a task. I am good at that.
You fooled people on Facebook but you have not fooled me. You do not have respect for my journey because you do not know it. I have told my story to thousands of people. I have been told that I have inspired many as well. Not because of the way I run but because of the person I am. Not because of my 200 pound weight loss but because of the words that I have had inside for years.
Many of us have been that person being judged and then twirled into some weird inspirational story. I was judged at the gym at 400 pounds. I was laughed at in Panera at 350 pounds. I was embarrassed at 300 pounds and honestly I was the same person at 195 pounds as I was at 420 pounds.
I tell people now that weight loss should not make you love yourself more. That is the mistake I made.
So next time you look at me on that track do yourself a favor. Look away. I do not look like I once did. I do not want to be your inspiration or your motivation.
I am a runner. I was a runner at 420 pounds and I am a runner today.
And runners do one thing.
They run. Not write about other runners.
Regards,
Tony Posnanski0 -
My thoughts when i see a overweight/unfit person running, "Good for her/him trying to do something about their weight" I am over weight and run by the lake 4-5 times a week and i don't care what people think. Most people are nice and encouraging by the trail I run on tho.0
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I am about 100 pounds overweight and when I jog I resemble an injured penguin wading through peanut butter. I’m probably about that speed also. I occasionally get harassment and jeers but I also get encouragement. Most of the cheers and jeers go unheard because I’m so wound up in my music. In all honesty though, I’d say about 95% of the other humans I encounter don’t even notice me.
The advice I give my family when they are feeling self-conscious is to not be so self-centered. The rest of the world really doesn’t focus on us as much as we might think they do. The rest of my town isn’t sitting around waiting on my daily jog. The interaction we share is probably 2-5 seconds out of their day. I’m sure they don’t sit there for the next hour thinking about ME or bring my jog up at their dinner conversation. In the big picture, my exercise routine is a miniscule and insignificant part of everyone else’s existence. It would be very egotistical of me to rearrange my entire life and fitness routine based on the assumption that the rest of the world is paying that much attention to me. Chances are, they simply don’t care.0
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