OVERcomplimenting feels aggressive?

knitapeace

Do you have someone in your life who just can't stop talking about your weight loss, to the point where it feels a little passive aggressive? I have two, both in my family. One is a person who has always been the smallest adult in every family gathering, and still is because I'm kind of Amazonian even after the weight loss. It's gotten to the point that my 15 year old daughter asked me, "Does it bother you that A___ mentions your weight loss every time we see her?" And I told her yes, a little. I wonder if she feels threatened somehow.

The other is my own mother, who enjoyed offering me her "fat" clothes every time I saw her, which was only once every two years or so due to living 14 hours apart. Now that I'm smaller than she is, she makes a point on every Facebook photo of me to comment on how thin I look and cut herself down. ("You look so nice and thin! I just can't seem to lose anything even though I don't have dessert anymore.") I'm coming to realize that there was a lot of competition from her all through my growing-up years that I just kind of didn't see, because who expects that from your own mother?

I'm Southern, so I turn on the charm in both situations ("Oh thank you, aren't you sweet?!") and change the subject (or in the case of Facebook, just don't reply). But I wonder if this is kind of effusive complimenting is common, and if others feel like it might not be as sincere as it might appear on the surface?

JONZ64

Yes! I have several, a few people who I work with and was in the military with for years. I have one guy who everytime one of the young guys/girls says something about me being in shape, he will make sure to tell them "Yeah but he was a lot fatter before" or something along those lines.

This is really strange because I have known this guy since 1994 and back then he hated fitness but was in the military so he had to run and do pushups, but complained everytime. I on the other hand was always fit, I had always lifted weights and ran. I did Iron Man competitons and he used to tell me what a waste of time that was. So for all my military career I was fit and then after I retired I was still fit but in 2006 got hurt gained weight and just got lazy for about 4 years, now I'm back to my normal (or almost back). I don't think of the fat me as who I used to be, I think of it as a bump in the road in my life.