giving thanks

La5Vega5Girl

i know it's not thanksgiving yet here in the U.S. but i have been doing alot of thinking today. for the past week or so, i've become so obsessed with my weight. i all i can do is think about calories, exercise, weighing food, what to eat, what NOT to eat, am i drinking enough? i've tried new approaches and even tried to stop logging calories just to give myself a much needed break.

my thoughts led me to realize that i need to move outside myself. i need to volunteer with a homeless shelter or a food bank. i need to do something that doesn't revolve around ME.

today i packed-up my bike and my daughter's little trailer that attaches behind. we loaded up and went to the zoo. there are miles and miles of trails, and the weather was absolutely amazing and perfect. we passed a church along the way, and the line was OUT THE DOOR...the church was serving breakfast to the homeless.

my heart just sank. here i am, struggling to lose pounds because i am overweight. i have too much food. now let me be clear; i am in no means trying to "brag" that i have alot of money or something like that, because i don't. what i mean is, i am the way i am because of eating too much, and because of making the wrong food choices. (some food choices are wrong for me, not saying everyone's ideas are the same about which foods are good or bad.) i have picked a do-nut over an orange. i have chosen a deep-fried taco over a lean cut of chicken with fresh veggies and corn tortillas. i have picked up a cupcake instead of choosing a banana.

i was becoming obsessed and becoming angry because the scale isn't moving as quickly as i wanted it to. and yet, all this time, there are people right here in my city who didn't have breakfast because they didn't HAVE breakfast. not because they were choosing to fast --- (which i did for 40 hours this weekend)

i am going to make a few changes in myself, and i just wanted to share. i have a new objective and while i know i still need to lose weight, i want to be healthier and that means more than just dropping pounds.

thanks for reading. :flowerforyou: