Question for ex alcohol addicts

RotterdamNL

So they say the more you drink the more you get depressed.

I've been clean almost 2 weeks but it is really frikking depressing without.

I find life so boring, reality is boring, the world is evil i don't like it at all. Now in the past i would start again but im holding my own but how did you guys cope with it?

Alot of peeps say, find things to do, but even then i find those things boring and me quitting smoking doesn't add to my mood either atm.

lkrisp71

I have been sober for just over 18 years. Life can be kind of boring, but you have to find a replacement for the drinking. For me that meant AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Have you tried it?

I can tell you it does get better, but not without working at it.

Running has helped me immensely - so has being a part of AA.

Jennloella

did you quit cold turkey? It sort of sounds like a lot more is going on.....maybe someone to talk to wouldn't be a bad idea so you can deal with why you don't like the world or reality? I drank in lieu of therapy for a long time. It sucked when I realized it wasn't normal to drink just to cope with day to day. What kind of resources do you have to connect with a professional?

lyrical_melody

I am not personally an ex-alcoholic, but my mother was and I gave tell you what helped her. For her, it was a major struggle because she got clean from drugs and alcohol. AA helped her more then anything. Most evenings she would attend an AA meeting or meet for dinner with a friend from AA. She was always keeping her self busy...which I think is what helped her the most.

Stay Busy
Join AA
Exercise (go to classes)
Find a new Hobby

I know it will all seem boring now, but there is another way to live without the alcohol that is also exciting.

I wish you the best of luck.

emdeesea

So they say the more you drink the more you get depressed.

I've been clean almost 2 weeks but it is really frikking depressing without.

I find life so boring, reality is boring, the world is evil i don't like it at all. Now in the past i would start again but im holding my own but how did you guys cope with it?

Alot of peeps say, find things to do, but even then i find those things boring and me quitting smoking doesn't add to my mood either atm.

Okay well, the truth is that life is hard but you make of it whatever you want.

That said, because you say you're depressed and find life and everything "boring" it's very likely you have clinical depression that you've been self-medicating with alcohol. The problem with that is that once you stop drinking, the world is still there. You know the old adage of "No matter where you go, there you are."

So my advice is to get yourself to an MD and find out about getting on some anti-depressant medication. You may not need it forever, but it will help get you over that hump anyway.

Added: I see others have mentioned AA. Good idea, if you haven't already done that.

Calliope610

I have been sober for 10 years (AA helped me attain lasting sobriety).

When I was an active alcoholic, my life was full of chaos, drama, misery, heartache and all sorts of legal, relationship and employment problems.

Now that I'm sober, there is very little chaos, drama and bull****. So yes, I guess my life is boring now, but it's a boring life that I enjoy. BTW, some people sat that boredom is really contentedness, happiness and serenity. I'm one of those people.

gregbennett1973

I gave up the booze when I became a Christian. Life's been anything but boring since. In fact I was a much more boring person when I drank and took drugs (although I thought I was startling company).

I wish I could encourage you to just go along to your local church, but the truth is that many of them aren't so good these days, I'm sad to say.

So why not instead have a read of your bible. I'd start with one of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.

I promise you that if you started a relationship with God, your life would be both exciting and full of hope.

Might be worth considering. Sorry if this seems preachy, but it worked for me when I was a very heavy substance abuser.

All the best

Greg

RotterdamNL

Thnx for the replies and beside AA have tried the rest but did not work for me. Had ad meds but dont know, worked for a while but the effect wears off, religion, the thing is, im like Thomas, i got too many questions and have too many doubts to practice.

Must say life isnt supergreat either atm, was on and off homeless for about 10 years, last 2 years i have been living on a room i rent from a helping organisation (dont know the word in english) hopefull by the end of the year i finally can move to a complete house and the coming 3 years i will be doing debt repayment.

Quit smoking cold turkey and also drinking but i must say i am not planning to drink ever again but to control it to maybe 1-2x in the months instead of every other day.

Just hoping it is just a period that i am looking at life the way it is atm.

ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer)

gregbennett1973

ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer)

Had to Google Jon Cryer - I guess that's a compliment, so thanks very much!

Every blessing with your efforts to stay dry.

sofaking6

Thnx for the replies and beside AA have tried the rest but did not work for me. Had ad meds but dont know, worked for a while but the effect wears off, religion, the thing is, im like Thomas, i got too many questions and have too many doubts to practice.

Must say life isnt supergreat either atm, was on and off homeless for about 10 years, last 2 years i have been living on a room i rent from a helping organisation (dont know the word in english) hopefull by the end of the year i finally can move to a complete house and the coming 3 years i will be doing debt repayment.

Quit smoking cold turkey and also drinking but i must say i am not planning to drink ever again but to control it to maybe 1-2x in the months instead of every other day.

Just hoping it is just a period that i am looking at life the way it is atm.

ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer)

It's tough for anyone to go through what you're dealing with, so don't feel badly that you're struggling. I think it's amazing that you've made so much progress and you should be proud of yourself. I really would suggest that you go check out an AA meeting or two or three - there are many that are not religious even if they follow the 12 steps (my ex's group used to call their higher power 'doorknob') and I think you'd be able to meet people who could really identify with your situation and help sort all those feelings.

ksemir

Hi,i am new here:).And i,ve been sober for nearly 2 weeks(not the first time thou).hat i know from the therapy,that first two weeks are very depresing.

Retreating phase (from day 0 to 15 days)The level of neurotransmitters decreases rapidly when we stop drinking.
This is the initial phase is called phase sobriety retreat. Then experience a series of very unpleasant symptoms, such as withdrawal (mistakenly called a hangover), depression, mood swings, sleep disorders and other health problems.

Honeymoon Phase (16-45)
After completion of phase retreat back to the production of brain neurotransmitters with redoubled strength (as if trying to catch up;)) This period is called honeymoon - then feel relief after past torment, is, well, full of energy and optimism, euphoria are common. Normally, if excessively engage in work, taking on too much confidence, but also fall into boredom, because the outside world does not share our enthusiasm and keeps us step;)

Phase Wall (46-120)
After a month of honey brain tries to restore the production of neurotransmitters to the correct level, what we perceive as their decline - besets us depression, apathy, low energy. We can not organize their lives, we often have family problems, we feel lonely, we lowered mood. This is the most difficult period of sobriety Phase Wall, which occurs very frequently return to drinking
Phase Adjustment (121-180)
The next phase of sobriety - even at a stable level of neurotransmitters in the brain - is the Adaptation Phase. We then have difficulties in interpersonal relations, we feel the lack of job satisfaction, lack of goals. Sober life begins to seem boring to us.

Phase Solutions (180-360)
The next phase, the closing year of sobriety is a Phase Solutions. Then we begin to return to normal, but still feel the mental and emotional discomfort - digest the guilt we experience depressive states, we get angry.

I hope i could help,and most of all u could undertand that ( i translate from the polish web,with a little help of google ) )

So continue what u are doing,trust me i,ve been there and it,s get better.Good luck

maoribadger

I have no advice but my husband is going through same thing and I just wanted to wish you every strength on your journey. It takes bravery to start over x

laurenjill

If AA isn't really your thing, look into Smart Recovery. http://www.smartrecovery.org It's a secular alternative to AA.

MyOwnSunshine

I agree with the previous poster who is in recovery who said that maybe your life feels "boring" because addicts/alcoholics tend to live in chaos and drama. Maybe you just need some time to get used to the fact that "normal" is a little "boring" and that's not a bad thing. Maybe you can reframe "boring" by changing your label to "calm," "peaceful," or "purposeful" instead.

GiddyupTim

Just remember: You quit for a reason.
Duh!
You probably felt bored or down sometimes before too, and that is why you picked up the drinks. It obviously did not work.
Give it some time for adjustment and don't panic. Change is sometime uncomfortable. But we need to do it.
Signed,
Over 35 years sober.

RotterdamNL

Hi,i am new here:).And i,ve been sober for nearly 2 weeks(not the first time thou).hat i know from the therapy,that first two weeks are very depresing.

Retreating phase (from day 0 to 15 days)The level of neurotransmitters decreases rapidly when we stop drinking.
This is the initial phase is called phase sobriety retreat. Then experience a series of very unpleasant symptoms, such as withdrawal (mistakenly called a hangover), depression, mood swings, sleep disorders and other health problems.

Honeymoon Phase (16-45)
After completion of phase retreat back to the production of brain neurotransmitters with redoubled strength (as if trying to catch up;)) This period is called honeymoon - then feel relief after past torment, is, well, full of energy and optimism, euphoria are common. Normally, if excessively engage in work, taking on too much confidence, but also fall into boredom, because the outside world does not share our enthusiasm and keeps us step;)

Phase Wall (46-120)
After a month of honey brain tries to restore the production of neurotransmitters to the correct level, what we perceive as their decline - besets us depression, apathy, low energy. We can not organize their lives, we often have family problems, we feel lonely, we lowered mood. This is the most difficult period of sobriety Phase Wall, which occurs very frequently return to drinking
Phase Adjustment (121-180)
The next phase of sobriety - even at a stable level of neurotransmitters in the brain - is the Adaptation Phase. We then have difficulties in interpersonal relations, we feel the lack of job satisfaction, lack of goals. Sober life begins to seem boring to us.

Phase Solutions (180-360)
The next phase, the closing year of sobriety is a Phase Solutions. Then we begin to return to normal, but still feel the mental and emotional discomfort - digest the guilt we experience depressive states, we get angry.

I hope i could help,and most of all u could undertand that ( i translate from the polish web,with a little help of google ) )

So continue what u are doing,trust me i,ve been there and it,s get better.Good luck

Ok i am looking forward to the honeymoon phase :laugh: but thanks for the insight.

Hmm the reason i quit, well.. dont take me wrong, i love being tipsy and if it wasnt bad for your health i would love to feel like that everyday, however, when i drank, i drink alot, bottle of whiskey, couple beers etc when i go so deep i cant sleep and i feel like total **** the next day.

Broken from not sleeping but also irregular heartbeats, fear, now that i got really tired off, not the drinking itself, plus i gained alot of fat and that all together i got tired of those things.

Currently i am very moody and explosive and alot of small things irritate me but i assume its just a phase.

Thnx for all the great replies :flowerforyou:

caitlinmichelle33

Hey! I know I'm kind of late on the thread but I've been where you're at as well & I think the key for myself was accepting the fact that it IS going to be boring in the beginning compared to all the drama of getting loaded. However, the stability & calm that I initially hated are some of the things that I love about my life now. It's nice to not have fights or constantly be f*cking things up lol. It just takes time. Hang in there! AA is what helped me even though I initially thought it was a cult. Today I have a little over 4 years off drugs & alcohol Now to just start eating better...

RotterdamNL

Not late at all im off the drugs for 4 yrs now, alcohol.. as i said, not planning to stop with it completely just alot less, doing everything at once atm, no smoking, no drinking and no snacking, guess thats why im cranky lol.

When i drank i always did it at home and then im just in my own little world, alternate state of mind and for a small amount of time eveything is so more vivid and spiritual. Not its just plain reality and im already high sensitive so dont like reality at all even though we cant change it it sucks.

Texnell

I agree. Bordom for some might be contentedness. Serinity could be happiness.

adge1475

Had 1.5 years, relapsed, now I'm at 7 months.
I don't know if it gets less boring, but I hope it does, because some days I want to vibrate out of my own skin and I'm irritated with everyone around me who doesn't understand. NA has helped me get out of my own head. My biggest problems were an inability to identify my triggers and an unwillingness to live outside my own selfishness.
I absolutely get feeling cranky! But I've started volunteering a lot, working for a non-profit and trying to genuinely listen to people when they talk. The more I let myself care about other people, the quieter my own BS seems.

nicknpick

I'm also trying to clean my life of alcohol. I've been sober a week, and am in the same boat as you. I find myself board very easily. For me, drinking was such a big part of my life I have to find other things to fill in the time wasted on it. I sure hope it gets better. I didn't realize how board I would be! Let's just say my house is extremely clean lol. Just hoping the boredom doesn't lead to relapse. Good luck to you!

FitOldMomma

I've never been a drinker, but my oldest son is a recovering alcoholic, 3 and 1/2 yrs sober. His answer is AA, but it's not for everyone.

Anyway, you're still in the very early period of your body and brain getting used to no alcohol. You sound like a very smart guy with a real desire to stay sober. Do you exercise? It is so helpful to many with depression. That is something I have dealt with and I can honestly tell you that the more I exercise the better my mood is. Some days I had zero motivation to get out of bed, but I forced myself and once I was moving (I swim) I could feel the motivation seep into me.

You can do this, it just takes time and a LOT of effort.

I quit smoking a 3 pack a day habit about 4 months ago. Since I was so focused on losing weight and getting fit it just didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Again, I think the exercise is key to my success so far.

Best of luck to you.

RotterdamNL

I exercise ???? i work as a volunteer fitness instructor at a community gym, haha how ironic that even though i know alot about exercising and nutricion i totally screwed up myself but yeah, have started exercising seriously again when i quited smoking, i also have the key to the gym so can always workout.

Im typing this at 2:45am btw because this is the first night i can't catch my sleep ???? hopefully there not gonna be alot of nights like this.

I also have alot of days when i dont want to do anything, then i feel absolutely misereable and have a lack of energie and motivation, once im in the gym i am ok but before or after, ugh. Still hoping this is all temporary.

caitlinmichelle33

its definitely temporary. You've got this I was a nightmare when I quit -- literally f*cking insane lol. Ahhh memories.

dakotababy

Often your seratonin levels need to fix themselves, so of course there is a phase of depression after quitting drinking. Your endorphins have nothing to do (or so it feels). This takes time for the brain to adjust. The boredom is normal as well, and it was probably something you struggled to deal with. Basically the answer does come down to finding other hobbies to do. Start with something small, like just reading a few pages of a magazine or book. Make time to watch a movie every day, go for a walk, listen to music. The list can go on and on!

What you are going through is normal. It is referred to as P.A.W.S. Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms.

ValGogo

Hi my name is Valerie and I'm an addict. Congrats on your two weeks.

was at a friends 15 year anniversary and I was sitting there bored and taking inventory. I get like that sometimes, but then I saw some people that I really like, people I've met because of recovery and that makes it all better. I still, still am so happy that I haven't used or drank in 3 years, 6 months and 27 days.

It's tough in the beginning. If you have a job it's good, but you just have to give it time. I really suggest going to meetings. I haven't read the rest of the responses but in the beginning, it's a good idea cuz it's a daily reminder of your decision to quit.

just don't drink for one more day. I heard some guy share on Friday about "I won't drink today; I will wait until tomorrow....but tomorrow never comes." He had to do that for a while until he felt better.

Stay strong. If you can work out, do it. Do anything but don't pick up. Well, not ANYTHING haha you know what I mean.

ValGogo

So they say the more you drink the more you get depressed.

I've been clean almost 2 weeks but it is really frikking depressing without.

I find life so boring, reality is boring, the world is evil i don't like it at all. Now in the past i would start again but im holding my own but how did you guys cope with it?

Alot of peeps say, find things to do, but even then i find those things boring and me quitting smoking doesn't add to my mood either atm.

And about the boring stuff. Reality is what it is. The world IS evil but there are some good things about it. Being drunk takes your focus off the boring bad stuff, but think about this...YOU become the bad and boring stuff when you're drunk! Maybe you're not a bad drunk now, I don't know your story, but it always ends up escalating....always.....it could take years or months but it will get worse if you keep drinking.

Things will get better, maybe not this week, but they will. You just have to get through the holidays and you may be better. 90 days, just give it 90 days.

ValGogo

ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer)

Had to Google Jon Cryer - I guess that's a compliment, so thanks very much!

Every blessing with your efforts to stay dry.

I love Jon Cryer.

Graelwyn75

Just a few small suggestions to try.

Look into 5HTP. Natural amino acid supplement that has helped many with depression, mood swings, insomnia. I am taking it myself.

Also, for distraction, look into something online called Second Life. I found that a great escape from reality when I was in there a lot, it is a virtual reality where you can create things, meet people, go to live concerts, dance, swim, ski, party and just about anything else you can think of.

darrensurrey

find things to do, but even then i find those things boring

Find fun things to do!

Have you tried the Battlefield Diet? It's where you get so addicted to Battlefield 2 (well, it was 2 at the time) that you forget to eat. Or in your case, drink.

Lesa_Sass

I tried AA way before I stopped drinking. I thought it was not for me, but it was because I was not ready.

When I actually stopped drinking I did not go to AA for a few weeks either, I did not think it was for me. I got sick and tired of being so upset and depressed. It was like l got out of an abusive relationship, you would think I was happy but I missed my abusive lover and was depressed "because I loved him".

I found happiness in the rooms of AA, but it was not at all right away. It took 90 days before the obsession of alcohol was lifted. Then it took another 9 months before I was able to have normal people fun.

Now I am 7 years sober and can honestly say AA and working the steps was the best thing I ever did in my life. I would beg you to honestly reconsider giving AA another try, a real, lets try this and get serious try. Make some friends, get a sponsor and work the steps.

If anything, go to a few meetings, get some phone numbers of guys and give them a call. Now in saying that, we need to remember that we are all sick and suffering, some more than others. There are some people that come into the rooms and replace their drinking addiction with a meeting addiction. We are here to share our experience strength and hope, not boss anyone around and tell them what to do. It has been my experience that when I start getting involved with people that want to boss me around and tell me what I should be doingI back away from those people.

Find someone that has what you want and ask them how they did it.,.....see how it goes............but if you are honestly ready to get sober and stay sober, and be happy about it, please, I beg of you to give AA a serious chance.