Motivation vs Inspirationn (a rant)

VelveteenArabian

I get frustrated with people constantly demanding help with "motivation".

Motivation: the reasons behind why a person acts a certain way, the general willingness of someone to do something

To be motivated to do something means you WANT TO DO IT. If you're not motivated to lose weight, gain weight, stay healthy, exercise, whatever, then it means YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO IT. We cannot make you want to do something - *especially* when it comes to weight management. Weight management is all about YOU, YOUR effort, YOUR work. You have to do it because you want to and it feels right - not because someone posted a picture of their results. You can't look like them. You can only look like you. You can't be doing it to get compliments. You can't be doing it for people to fawn over you. You can't expect people to clap and applaud every little victory. It's all about you, for you. You have to drive this train and to be ready to do so REGARDLESS if someone offers you cookies, or if no one notices you lost 20 pounds, or whatever.

However, perhaps you want INSPIRATION. Maybe you're the type of person that really likes the 'success stories' of someone else and maybe that really makes you feel like you can do it. You can, however, believe in your ability to do something without being motivated to do it. Keep that in mind. If you want success stories, there's a whole folder on here for them. Don't make a new thread demanding for success stories to motivate you. There's PLENTY to read! Find those stories that speak to you, find those people, make friends. That will do more for you than any thread you create asking to see pictures of results or stories or what have you.

Requests for help with motivation become even more absurd when you have a health problem from your weight, or are seeing bad things happen in your children, your marriage, your life, whatever, and you STILL don't want to do it. If your doctor says you're in serious trouble unless you make some changes, and that isn't enough to MOTIVATE you to do something, do you really think a pinterest picture is going to do that for you? If you have negative effects in your life from your weight loss, weight gain, health, eating habits, fitness level - WHATEVER - and you still feel "Meh" about making changes....what on earth do you think we can do for you? Why isn't your life being on the line enough?

Realize when you say you need motivation, you're saying "I don't want to do this so will someone say something that will make me want to". When you're saying you've not motivated, you're saying you don't want to do it. You're saying you don't want to make the changes needed to improve your health, you don't want to look good for that vacation, you don't want to fit into that dress you bought - whatever it is - you don't want to do it.

So, that's it. That's my rant.

Edited to say: Gah realized after I hit enter that I had a typo in the topic!

LeonCX

Agreed. agreed. I think posts that say "Need people to motivate me" are quite shallow. And very annoying. And unbelievably repetitious here. Leave 'em for the friend collectors. These kind of posts will never stop so just get used to them.

Adc7225

Great post!

I hope this thread doesn't turn ugly - but it is the truth.

I responded to one person looking for friends to help motivate them by asking what did they feel that they needed to motivate them - apparently that was not the PC response

Zerodette

OP, you're being pedantic and unfair. A common use of the word "motivation" is as a synonym for "inspiration." And I think it's perfectly fair for people to be inspired by others' stories. I assume your last name is Webster, since you're so concerned with posts not adhering to the strict definition of motivation that you prefer. Maybe just ignore those posts?

Edit: you spelled inspiration wrong.

lorib642

Am I the only one that does better with some accountability? If I say I am going to be somewhere or do something I am more likely to stick to it than if I just think about it. I don't know what you call that. Maybe I am just weak. I like having someone to give me a pat on the back when I reach a goal.

VelveteenArabian

OP, you're being pedantic and unfair. A common use of the word "motivation" is as a synonym for "inspiration." And I think it's perfectly fair for people to be inspired by others' stories. I assume your last name is Webster, since you're so concerned with posts not adhering to the strict definition of motivation that you prefer. Maybe just ignore those posts?

Edit: you spelled inspiration wrong.

I know I spelled it wrong but I noticed after the fact and topics cannot be changed once posted (or if they can, I can't see how).

Common usage doesn't make it correct. It's like saying "should of" is correct because people use it for should've (should have). It's still incorrect.

Lack of motivation always means lack of desire. If being riddled with health problems and life problems is not motivation to do better and isn't inspiration to do better, then what in the world will a bunch of randoms be able to say that will make things click?

It's reasonable to want to look at success stories for inspiration if that works for you. However to insist people flock together to motivate you is silly, especially when you have things that should already be doing it. (General use of you, not at a specific person).

shadowofender

Hmmm I'm not sure where I fall on this. On some level it seems like arguing semantics, but on a different level I kind of understand.

My boyfriend once explained the difference between motivation and dedication to me. My head may *want* to do something, but I still struggle with doing it. Dedication is making it a habit so that the motivation follows through eventually? Something like that.

Even if in your head you *want* to lose weight or eat better or whatever, it's still hard to follow through. And if people are looking for help and advice on how to get that follow through, it shouldn't matter what word they use to ask for that help.

I do see your side, though. Normally I get in a tizzy when people use words or phrases wrong. But I think I've gotten happier and less confrontational since giving people the benefit of the doubt more often. Especially online.

VelveteenArabian

Am I the only one that does better with some accountability? If I say I am going to be somewhere or do something I am more likely to stick to it than if I just think about it. I don't know what you call that. Maybe I am just weak. I like having someone to give me a pat on the back when I reach a goal.

Lots of people do better with accountability. But let's be realistic here. Logging and being honest makes you accountable. Are you expecting someone to look through your food journal and nitpick your choices and go "BAD YOU" when you go over? Because that's what being accountable is - having to justify yourself. Does it really mean anything if someone called you to the carpet over a bad choice? Accept those good choices and the bad ones - we all make some of each. But if you have a bad day and go over by a few hundred, do you really want someone to point it out? Would that make you try harder next time so that person doesn't call it out or are you going to be more likely to hide it? Because...it is a stranger on the Internet after all.

Don't get me wrong - I have MFP buddies and I love hearing their anecdotes. I occasionally bombard them with proclamations of how I stuffed myself with a giant ice cream cone or whatever. But I just throw stuff out there. I don't expect them to drag me through the process - the conversation just makes it more fun.

marinabreeze

The board is titled Motivation and Support...so...:huh:

^This.

OP - I don't know why you are on a MOTIVATION board to complain about motivation. It seems silly.

In any case, maybe it's not that people who need motivation need to "want to lose weight." Maybe they need to be encouraged to keep making the effort to do so, because some do not see the fruits of their labor right away (or at all). There is a difference between between wanting to lose weight and wanting to keep eating less/fewer calories/watching macros/moving more, especially if making that effort isn't seeing the expected payoff. KWIM?

lorib642

Am I the only one that does better with some accountability? If I say I am going to be somewhere or do something I am more likely to stick to it than if I just think about it. I don't know what you call that. Maybe I am just weak. I like having someone to give me a pat on the back when I reach a goal.

Lots of people do better with accountability. But let's be realistic here. Logging and being honest makes you accountable. Are you expecting someone to look through your food journal and nitpick your choices and go "BAD YOU" when you go over? Because that's what being accountable is - having to justify yourself. Does it really mean anything if someone called you to the carpet over a bad choice? Accept those good choices and the bad ones - we all make some of each. But if you have a bad day and go over by a few hundred, do you really want someone to point it out? Would that make you try harder next time so that person doesn't call it out or are you going to be more likely to hide it? Because...it is a stranger on the Internet after all.

Don't get me wrong - I have MFP buddies and I love hearing their anecdotes. I occasionally bombard them with proclamations of how I stuffed myself with a giant ice cream cone or whatever. But I just throw stuff out there. I don't expect them to drag me through the process - the conversation just makes it more fun.

I wasn't really thinking someone would call me out on it as much as that would give me just one more reason to do whatever, because I told the internet people I was going to. a sense of responsibility not fear.