How to approach someone at the gym?

pscarolina

This is why I'm happy I teach Jazzercise. We not only work HARD (think Zumba but better cueing & strength training), but also make a point to introduce people in class who may have something in common, especially if they're new. We also schedule a monthly ladies night, dance at halftime at professional football & basketball games, & just generally make our workout friends part of our social circle. I know dance aerobics isn't everyone's cup of tea & everyone's group exercise experience is different, but it helped me make new friends when I moved to Charlotte, NC years ago.

So...as someone said earlier, classes might be a better place to strike up a friendship. Who knows, you might even get a new lifting partner & make the whole gym experience more enjoyable.

levitateme

Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

" I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.

Some people have to be out of the gym by a certain time to get to work on time and don't have time to casually chat with anyone, at all. I am one of those people. I don't think there's anything ridiculous about that.

ruffnstuff

I live in the Chicago suburbs and I know some single friends who've met both friends and others through doing things with Events and Adventures. I've heard commercials on the radio, but otherwise don't know much about them, but perhaps it's worth checking out. At least it's another way to potentially meet people outside the gym, and do some fun activities, too.

beertrollruss

I stopped wearing headphones except for the treadmill, so I could make friends at the gym. Sometimes I might ask someone about an exercise they're doing or just comment about something going on at the gym. Asking to work in can be an ice breaker some times. If someone seems to be free, you could ask them to check your form on an exercise. I feel like I should know someone before asking for a spot. Some people get grumpy about spotting and a lot of people just aren't good at spotting.

Last time I spotted somebody, he was benching heavy and his breath smelled of cigarettes.

I turned somebody down on spotting toward the end of a leg workout once. The dude looked at me like I was being a **** but I was really exhausted and sweaty and I would have dripped sweat all over him. Maybe I should have just gone ahead and dripped on him.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I make the most headway with gym people in classes. Other than that, just go talk to someone. In between sets, in the locker room, or in the stretching area pretty much the only appropriate avenues to take in starting convos in the gym.

jennifer_417

Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

" I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.

I see your point, but to be fair, if you're lifting and not paying attention to what you're doing, you could seriously hurt yourself.

Alidecker

If they have classes, go to those. I have met several people in classes that I go to regularly. We whine and groan together and become friends.

I have been at the same gym for 5 years now and have several friends that I am social with. It is a fairly small gym and I go at the same time during the week, so I see the same people a lot. We are friendly, but only a few that I am social with outside of the gym. Most of those I met when my trainer and I crossed from being just trainer/client to friends and hung out socially. This however, lead to a complete group of friends that I hang out with on the weekends...only one of which was an actual gym member before. I think when I talk to people at the gym it is during stretching or after the workout when getting ready to leave.

ThatMouse

Classes are a definite way to make friends - they're in a group situation and, unless it's something where talking is frowned upon (certain types of yoga/more intense classes/your gym has a culture of "head down, get to work, get the **** out"), most people will be open to some small conversation.

I'm a fairly head-down person at the gym when I'm actually working out, but I'm open to certain types of conversation - namely those with seniors (for whom I have a soft spot). NEVER is it about form or technique - I've never been asked - but it's usually "hey, how's it going?" and then, after a few months of that, it's "I'm Mouse, nice to meet you." with a handshake. If it goes somewhere from there, awesome. If not, stick to hello.

I have a handful of friends at my gym, all of which have just gradually become friends through the four months of workouts at the same time. I go both at 6:45AM and at lunch (varies, but usually between 11-2) and I find that the morning crowd is generally more talkative - we have a bit more time and we're all in the same mindset of "I want to go in the morning, the gym is my favourite time of day". I see the same people and, after a few months of head-nods and hellos, have had meaningful conversations with about three people. Two of them have exchanged emails and numbers and agreed to coffee outside of the gym. Now, we're all ladies and most of our conversations happen in the lockers after we've worked out and are getting ready for the day. I'm in too much of a rush at lunch to want to talk to anyone.

Just like in any other scenario, don't force yourself on anyone. Greet people, be open, make eye contact if it happens. NEVER interrupt someone's work out or offer tips on form (for me, unless I'm being strangled by the bar, let me flounder - I don't give a **** if I'm about to hurt myself, let me make my goddamn mistakes on my own), don't be a creep and stare them down, and don't take things personally. If someone's too head-down-work-out, let them be. Some people don't want to spend a second longer than they have to at a gym. For others, we love the place.

Cathalain

Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

" I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.

I have a VERY tight schedule - and I mean down to the MINUTE, sometimes (a 3 hour commute, a 10 hour work day and graduate school will do that to you). I speak with people all day long (some of whom most don't WANT to talk to - think convicted felons). My workout time is the ONLY time I get to myself, literally, and the last thing I want to do is talk. I want to work out, relax (it IS relaxing for me), and take that time for myself.

If that makes me ridiculous, then I will happily be so. You can add "selfish" to the description too, for all that, and I'll be the first to agree with you.

You can't make a broad assumption that everyone who's in a rush or has headphones on is antisocial. That's just absurd.

MuayThaiMaMa1

If you do social media like Facebook I'd see if your gym has a facebook page and possibly make connections that way. My gym does and people actively post on the page.

dMonster01

Amanda4change

I go to the gym 6-7 days a week, however I rarely if ever talk to anyone. There are a few reasons for this, first I am a total klutz and if there is a crazy way to hurt yourself I have done it, so I need to stay focused on what I am doing (or the paramedics are likely to be needed), secondly my son is 3. My gym has a child care center where they will watch your kids for a limited time, if I am going to get my workout in and be able to shower I don't have time to stop and chat (because if I do stop and chat my workout gets cut short). I wear headphones the entire time and keep focused to myself, and if someone does start talking to me I'm not rude about it, but will tell them I've got to stay focused and if they want to chat I can after I get my kid from the daycare. As for what not to do, there is a lady at my gym who I think really wants some friends but she comes across as creepy as she will pick one person and follow them around until they leave, don't do that.

mhlew

God I love stirring the pot.. It sure makes these message boards a lot more exciting. To my point, I am not talking about a full on conversation like we are having coffee at Starbucks together but at the gym.

For instance I was wearing a Milwaukee Tools teeshirt to the gym and a pretty girl asked me "Hey are you from Milwaukee?" and we talked for literally 2 minutes (No I am not from Milwaukee in case anyone really cares, it just happen to be a shirt I was wearing) But I thought it was nice for her to just be friendly and break the ice where speaking to a stranger at the gym is sometimes frowned upon. I am an open book feel free to talk to me, but like I said this isn't Starbucks so make it brief and friendly and I will gladly accept your kindness.

But if you dont have time to appreciate nice gestures like that, I feel sorry for you. Make time in your day to appreciate!

mhlew

I make the most headway with gym people in classes. Other than that, just go talk to someone. In between sets, in the locker room, or in the stretching area pretty much the only appropriate avenues to take in starting convos in the gym.

Perfect example to my point, thank you.

VelveteenArabian

It's easier to talk to people in group fitness. Either before the class starts or during a break or sometimes you can linger and talk to people. Outside of that people are probably going to think you're hitting in them so be careful.

mhlew

Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

" I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.

You can't make a broad assumption that everyone who's in a rush or has headphones on is antisocial. That's just absurd.

I don't belive I stated this anywhere. If so please quote me. I did comment that the responses people are saying in this message board in my opinion are rediculous. A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

If you want to talk about absurd- Do not ask me how many sets I have left.

BigLifter10

And, whatever you do.....do NOT lurk outside at your car, scanning the lot and door to see who is coming out and going to what car. At the gym I go to....that has happened more than once and it can turn into an issue. Certainly not saying you'd do that....but it definitely happens where I go. Freaakkky.

fivethreeone

Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

" I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are different from me.

FIFY

ShannonMpls

I've made most of my gym friends before/after group exercise classes - the best place in my opinion. Also, now that I've made so many friends there, it makes the class even more fun. I have also had a lot of conversations while stretching, initiated by me and others.

I don't mind if people chat between sets when I'm lifting, but I get annoyed when they want a long-drawn out conversation...so I'd recommend making it quick if you approach people then.

thunderseed

The gym really isn't the best place to socialize, but team sports, fitness classes, yoga, and healthy groups like running groups are a great way to meet and socialize with other healthy individuals.

You'll probably have better luck chatting up people who are new at the gym and maybe even finding a gym partner that way, but most times, people who are serious about working out are going to be uninterested in conversation and they will want to be completely focused on their routine, reps and sets. People who work out very hard aren't going to have any time inbetween sets for socializing anyway, but if someone's just sitting there on a bench resting they might be open to a few words. It's never good to talk to someone in the middle of reps.

When I go to the gym, I do listen to my music and ignore everyone else and any kind of socializing pisses me off and I do not like being interuppted. It also irritates me to see people just standing there chatting and getting in the way of equipment that I or somebody else needs to use, so if you do plan on chatting with someone, make sure you aren't in the way of equipment so everyone else can get on with their workout. It's also irritating when people get absorbed chatting with someone while they are using equipment - finish your reps and sets and let the next person use it!
If it's a small, crowded gym do everyone a favour and don't stand around getting in the way period.
That should really just boil down to common sense and proper gym etiquette. People are there to work out, so try to respect that as much as possible.
Personally, I don't think the gym is supposed to be a social gathering place, it's a place for you to work out, respect everyone else around you and leave. If everyone went there to chat, you would never be able to get anything done.

This is good news for people who are worried about what other people might think of them when they go to the gym - the good thing is majority of people, like myself, don't even care because we are too busy focusing on our own workout.

sistrsprkl

This has been said, but I find that people in group excercise classes are generally very friendly and willing to strike up a convo. Good luck. Also, maybe try looking at Meetup.com for running/hiking/team sports groups in your new area.

apacheta

The weight room floor is really not conducive to social chit chat. I'm not just thinking of the people you'd want to meet but also everyone else. It can be annoying if you're working out to have people socializing in or around your space. Most people are there to do their thing in a focused, efficient manner.

On the other hand, I think the group fitness classes are a good place to strike up a conversation. Like others have commented, I'd wait until you've been there for a while and start seeing familiar faces. But there are usually opportunities when the instructor is setting up, between tracks, after class, etc. Having said that, since for the most part men don't do classes this limits you to women.

xmichaelyx

There is only 1 time in the gym that it's okay to talk to me: When I'm taking a class, you can make small talk directly before or directly after the class.

Otherwise, leave me alone. I don't go to the gym to socialize. In fact, it's one of the last places in society where you can just be left alone. It has nothing to do with "being in the zone" and isn't even workout-related. I'm doing something by myself, for myself. Just let me do it.

hearthwood

Well, depends on the motivation. Are you trying to talk to other women and make friends? Talk to guys and make friends? Talk to guys to try and find someone you might be interested in? I think the answer may very well be different depending on what you are looking for.

I was mostly geared just towards meeting people (male or female) and making friends, and the gym seemed like a good starting point since clearly we would have something in common.

A Hi how are you doing? My name is. What's your name, how long at you been working out here, is a very good start. Then after a couple of weeks or months of getting to know each other, it's would you like to go to lunch after the workout.

VelveteenArabian

There is only 1 time in the gym that it's okay to talk to me: When I'm taking a class, you can make small talk directly before or directly after the class.

Otherwise, leave me alone. I don't go to the gym to socialize. In fact, it's one of the last places in society where you can just be left alone. It has nothing to do with "being in the zone" and isn't even workout-related. I'm doing something by myself, for myself. Just let me do it.

+1
It would creep me out too much if I started seeing someone often at the gym and out of nowhere they tried to make a conversation. I would find it off-putting enough to go to a different gym or change when I go.

Cathalain

A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

To each their own. But I did mention that some people (such as myself, say) do NOT have "one minute to spare". People are busy. If someone says hello, I'll say hello back or "nice day", but yeah - I don't have time for chit-chat. It's nice that you and others do, but some don't.

And with that - bless your heart. :flowerforyou:

*cough*

SunofaBeach14

How do you approach people in other places? Try that. Wait, answer the question first and let me check your response before I say, "try that." A bit too much derp in here lately for me to say that without checking first.

anomar6

Which makes the gym no different from anywhere else. Everywhere we go there are people who don't have one minute to spare and people who have nothing at all pressing to do and are just lollygagging about. Add to that, some people enjoy meeting new people and striking up conversations and others abhor it. I don't see what makes the gym different from any other place.

Then, for some of us, it depends on the specifics. Personally, if the OP approached me anywhere I'd make time for her no matter how busy I was

A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

To each their own. But I did mention that some people (such as myself, say) do NOT have "one minute to spare". People are busy. If someone says hello, I'll say hello back or "nice day", but yeah - I don't have time for chit-chat. It's nice that you and others do, but some don't.

And with that - bless your heart. :flowerforyou:

*cough*

kgeyser

I see a lot of the same people at the gym, and if it's clear that we both recognize the other person, I think "hi, how are you?" is effective. You'll be able to tell from their response whether or not they are someone who is open to chatting. I only go the the gym for the weights, and I have no problem talking to people when I'm resting between sets. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen very often, the guys in the weight section aren't very talkative.

Oxmarqt

This won't help at the gym but try, meetup.com. You might find some groups that share interests with you. Since it is a group setting it is safe also.