Have you experimented with eating disorders in the past?

ciarodie

I was overweight as a child, but never experimented with eating disorder like behavior in school, but did in my early 20's and I still feel so guilty about it. It nearly got my health into a lot of trouble. I'm pretty okay now, but still have a lot to lose but want to do it the right way.

However, I still feel so guilty and like a complete failure when I think back at those days. But one thing that I did learn is that everyone who has problems with being overweight is somehow vulnerable to it. I think no matter what your problems is with food (binge eating, anorexia, bulimia etc.) we all share the same feelings, the symptoms are just in a different form. And it's so easy for a switch to happen.

I was wondering whether I am the only overweight person who nearly got myself in trouble with this? Anyone else that would like to share their story?

LeslieTSUK

Hi Ciarodie,
No need to feel ashamed, I think if most of us bigger people are honest, we have all looked at unhealthy ways of loosing weight, especially when we been in situations where we maybe been bullied, or pressured by others, even by loved ones who maybe didnt realise how much they hurt us.

I guess if I am truly honest there have been many times I have ate to the point where I have been physically sick, even made myself really ill for days so not been able to eat anything for those days because I knew it would give me more pain.

But till reading your post I never really thought about it maybe even being remotely a Eating Disorder.

But to answer your question directly.

I was wondering whether I am the only overweight person who nearly got myself in trouble with this? Anyone else that would like to share their story?

Being diabetic for over 22 years now, and in last few years to get it under perfect control I have stuck to an extremely strict diet, probably too restrictive in many ways till just recently.

Had been on MFP a few times in past and left probably because I was in denial about what I was really doing to myself.

but 8 weeks ago, I had done an online shop, got so many scotch eggs, and pasties, had a bad time with my ATOS medical, got screwed bad, then department for works and pensions screwed me over a 2nd time, and I felt so low, I kinda just lost it.

I ate the whole lot over a 2 day period, and needless to say, with my health problems, I went into a really bad state, and ended up I could barely breathe, was doubled over in agony, but just kept taking pain killers and ther pills till it eventually eased after 4 days, but for those 4 days I couldnt eat anything, lived on coffee..

Was after that I looked in the mirror, said Leslie, WTF are you doing?
So with that, I made myself a promise, never again, ordered myself a table top grill, filled up my freezer with frozen food, and now keep nothing in that I can just go grab to eat.

Then a few days ago decided to come back to MFP, so can keep track of my food intake and loose an extra 4 stone in weight.

But the feelings to do something stupid again are always there, and I think the moment you tell yourself they not, is the moment you fall back into a false sense of security and ya slip up again.

So there ya go, my story.

Galatea_Stone

I wouldn't use the word "experimented." I didn't set out to have an eating disorder, but with a stepdad in jail, a mother who was mid-nervous breakdown, a younger sister who was always in trouble that I was basically in charge of watching, an older cousin who associated with half the drug dealers in the community moving in with us because my mom was a "positive role model," and being told that I was the rock of the family and that everyone "needed" me, I developed one. My weight and my grades were the only two things over which I had control.

I don't beat myself up about it at all anymore. You shouldn't either.

hortensehildegarde

I'd *easily* be bulimic were it not for the fact that I happened to develop a phobia of throwing up. So as it turned out, I just got the health problems of being fat and not the health problems of purging (which honestly given what I understand about purging I think I am safer being fat).

So to echo what others have said, no you are not alone but YES you should STOP feeling guilty!! I can't understand why you would feel guilty about something you did/thought before you knew better? Cut yourself a little slack! Nobody is perfect.

AskTracyAnnK28

'Experimented' is the right word. Eating disorders are a mental illness that develops over a period of time. For example,anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. A person can't 'experiment' with a psychiatric disorder.

No need to feel guilty though. Thankfully you didn't develop an actual eating disorder. And there's no reason why you should feel bad about something you tried in the past.

Shirotora88

Growing up I was always overweight, I tried anorexia between the ages of 12 to 14, it didn't work because one day I got so hungry I ate and ate I gained the weight back plus 50 pounds more. I tried it again when I was 20-21 then again I got hungry and ate and ate gained the weight back plus 50 pounds and gave up trying to lose weight for 3 years at my Max weight before my fitness pal I did weigh 345 I was on the list for the gastric bypass surgery but they said I needed to try to lose some weight before they would do it. I walked and cut out soda out of my diet and lost 24 pounds. I felt like a prisoner in my own body it was horrible But I knew if I starved myself I would put it back on and add 50 pounds more. My fitness pal was my solution

TheKingsChampion

The closest I come to it in any form is when I feel really nauseous but it doesn't seem to want to happen. Then I would actually put my finger in my throat. But I hardly think that qualifies as purging, that's just to feel better. It's intentional, but I don't intend to harm my body when I do it.

Also at the beginning I was a little clueless about a healthy amount of calories, and for 2 months I ate 500 a day. Until I read some forums on mfp, I quickly changed that! Again not intentionally trying to harm myself, that was just a lack of knowledge.

Graelwyn75

One does not experiment with or 'try' an eating disorder and it is insulting to those of us who have suffered a serious eating disorder to suggest you can simply decide to try it out. Just because you decide to try not eating for a while, does not mean you are taking anorexia for a test run. It is an all consuming mental disorder and goes way deeper than that.

in4nomz

One does not experiment with or 'try' an eating disorder and it is insulting to those of us who have suffered a serious eating disorder to suggest you can simply decide to try it out. Just because you decide to try not eating for a while, does not mean you are taking anorexia for a test run. It is an all consuming mental disorder and goes way deeper than that.

This.

Now I don't know if you're intending it to sound that way, but to those who think a person struggling with an ED can just pick and choose when he/she decided to starve themselves or binge/purge....I would think those people are morons. Like Graelwyn75 said, it's a mental disorder that goes soooooooooooo much deeper than just not eating for a while.

PRMinx

Anorexia and bulimia are psychological disorders around control issues. You can't really experiment with them. I think there is a difference between an eating disorder and disordered eating.

I don't feel guilty for having had an eating disorder. I feel proud of myself for beating it. And you should too.

JTick

One does not experiment with or 'try' an eating disorder and it is insulting to those of us who have suffered a serious eating disorder to suggest you can simply decide to try it out. Just because you decide to try not eating for a while, does not mean you are taking anorexia for a test run. It is an all consuming mental disorder and goes way deeper than that.

This.

racqeann

One does not experiment with or 'try' an eating disorder and it is insulting to those of us who have suffered a serious eating disorder to suggest you can simply decide to try it out. Just because you decide to try not eating for a while, does not mean you are taking anorexia for a test run. It is an all consuming mental disorder and goes way deeper than that.

Some people do experiment with disordered eating behaviors (binging, restricting, purging, etc), and some of them develop a full-blown eating disorder and some don't. It's similar to how some people experiment with drugs and alcohol, and some of them develop full-blown addiction/dependence and some don't. As a mental health therapist, I have worked with many people who have disordered eating behaviors and don't meet the criteria necessary for a diagnosis, but that doesn't mean the behaviors aren't problematic or dysfunctional.

I doubt that the original poster was intending to offend anyone by stating that s/he has experimented with eating disorders. In this case it is likely just an issue of semantics - rather than saying "experimented with eating disorders," OP could have said "experimented with disordered eating behaviors" and that would have been more accurate.