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Joannah700
Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anyone willing to share a funny?

Joke, gif, story...anything as long as it brings a smile to your face.
«1

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  • MissMCassidy
    MissMCassidy Posts: 445
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    Don't have phone sex you might get hearing aids.

    Okay okay that one was awful

    How about....

    Nurses we can't fix stupid but we can sedate it.

    Still kinda awful but scrubs never gets old

    Your like school in July.....no class

    Or for fellow science geeks

    A photon checks in a hotel the bellhop asks "can I check your luggage?"
    The photon replies "no thank you I'm traveling light!"

    Or..... Your fake tan and this dog s***t are the same color twinsies!!!
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    My 5 yo son walked into the bathroom to talk to me this morning. I asked him to give me some privacy - hence why the door was closed. He says 'oh, ok mum, I'll stand over here then so I can't see your penis' (stands on the stool on the other side of a low wall so he can still see me) and then continued talking. So funny and very cute. My fault I supposed cause I should have locked the door as well.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Those were perfect, and exactly what I needed.

    Now courtesy of Jack Handey:
    When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
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    Omg Joannah...rude! LOL!!!!!

    Heres one, What kind of overalls do the Mario Brothers wear?

    Gotta hear it for it to make sense...but I swear, every time I tell this joke, Im cracking up so hard I can barely tell the punchline. And Ive told this joke so many times, it never gets old =P Here you go!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEONPMa3Ic4
  • Baconist
    Baconist Posts: 74 Member
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    I had a picture to post, but don't know how...sorry.
  • p8liwag
    p8liwag Posts: 919 Member
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    tumblr_m9xnekAcwU1rdjqtyo1_400.gif
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    726-funny-memes-01.jpg
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Another Jack Handey quote for a Monday morning:

    If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I think it would be that time I found that one-dollar bill on the sidewalk. I would change it to a million-dollar bill.
  • TLB86
    TLB86 Posts: 275 Member
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    One my little cousin came up with that still gets me

    Your mums so old she farts dust!! Ha!
  • Silentfool
    Silentfool Posts: 189 Member
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    I am just back from the Holiday of a lifetime.....

    tell you what, never again

    lol

    awful but fun :laugh:
  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
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    I'm glad I do squats alone in my barn because I've had a lot of broccoli lately and can barely stand myself.:ohwell:


    Happy Monday. :sad:
  • assthetik
    assthetik Posts: 3,639 Member
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    funniest-dog-gifs-stairs.gif
  • free1220
    free1220 Posts: 416 Member
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    Why do nuns always wear the same thing................it's a habit!
  • TLwineguzzler
    TLwineguzzler Posts: 289 Member
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    My friend thought her little girl kept saying "little bugger" and was feeling guilty thinking she'd picked it up from her. Turns out she'd been watching Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles and was saying "cowabunga"!!!
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
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    Why do ducks have flat feet?
    Stamping out forest fires.

    Why do elephants have flat feet?
    Stamping out burning ducks.

    Why do camels have flat feet?
    Sliding down pyramids.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
  • Baconist
    Baconist Posts: 74 Member
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    Oh WOW is that huge!

    Dave_Pryor_Bacon_for_President_sm.jpg
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    Oh WOW is that huge!

    That's what she said.
  • N2Couture
    N2Couture Posts: 2,762 Member
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    Anyone see this last night?

    PourSomeSugarOnMe.png


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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