How I see myself in the mirror.

cottony

I am not gonna brag here or something,i just want to share how I feel even after losing big amount of my body weight.

Since being fat for the 16 years of my life was normal and I didn't knew that I could be different,now that i had lost 50lbs i had almost reached weight goal.
The biggest issue here is my body image.
I still think that i am at least 20 pounds overweight.
I don't know how other people see me so I think I still look fat.
When I visited my aunt and uncle this summer(they hadn't see me in a 6 months) I finally had an insight of how actually look.
Aunts face when she first saw me was a mix of horror and surprise.
She already knew i had lost quite big amount of weight,but in those six months i lost extra 17lbs.
I didn't understand why she was so shocked,but later on I realized when i saw a picture we took together(me,aunt and friend my age).
I was like ''OH so that's how I look.''
I seriously didn't noticed how much I have changed and even when people told me I should slow down with weight loss I was thinking they just don't understand that I still have some extra weight.


BODY IMAGE-that is my biggest issue,I thought that everything will change once I had lost a lot of weight,but no, the biggest struggle I have is with my way of thinking.







I think i am not the only one with this type of problem,so how do you live with it?

metla12

First of all you should be VERY proud of your achievement! We all know it’s not all that easy.

The thing is allot of times we set our goals in pure numbers.
So your goal is 120lbs and no matter how you look that is the number you
pursuit. Of course that is not a good way of looking at it.
Every significant milestone you should step back and readjust your goals based on your current state.
Anything you do in life you must always reevaluate you goals, because usually nothing is
exactly as we image it and a lot of times our view on it changes also.

So i suggest taking pictures of yourself and try to analyze them in a calm and objective manner, as if you were looking
pictures of a friend or a stranger and not yourself(maybe take them so you face is not in them if it helps).
And than try to figure if the current state is good enough as far as weight loss goes and maybe now all
I need to do is just tone it up some or whatever your new, now more realistic wishes are. Adjust your goal and start again from there.

Based on your picture I would really recommend that you now just maintain your weight and be as active as you can be.
Resistance training, dancing, swimming, boxing or whatever you might enjoy doing in life. This will make you feel good, meet new friends and will also help your body composition much more than just dieting ever could. Plus it has insane health benefits.
I think that is the best thing you can do, because it usually takes some time for mind to adjust for body changes.
We see ourselves as we were, not as we are. That is especially true if the change happens fast.
But! your view on yourself WILL readjust naturally. You will start seeing yourself as this person you are now, and most importantly, you will start enjoying it. In the meanwhile try to focus on enjoying life with sports, friends, learning and relaxing. Be positive, believe in yourself and it will happen without you even thinking about it.
One day not far from this one you will be doing something random and just start smiling to yourself, feeling really good for being who you are and loving yourself for everything you did to make your life the way you want it.

Hope that helps.
Keep building your dreams.

cottony

thanks,i am trying to change my way of thinking by not judging myself so much and more looking at what i have already achieved

metla12

That’s awesome. It’s really where the focus should be.
Generally we are raised to only focus on the negative (like in school, most of the time, if not all of the time, you only get the negative feedback. Things you did wrong and almost never what you did right or good. A lot of times this is also true with parenting, friends, etc..)
But that’s not really positive, is it? In every situation we should focus on positive and try to improve upon it.

And I know that when trying to change your way of thinking, sometimes
it seems like its impossible to do it, that this is just the way you are.
But believe me, if you want to, you will. I’ve done it, my friends did it and
so will you. Just keep at it.
Remember, when you were younger, It might’ve seem like tying a shoelace or riding a bike was impossible, but your doing it now without even thinking about it. Mind can do basically anything you want it to. Don’t forget that. You just got to be persistent and it helps to be positive about it
Try to recognize every time you judge yourself, stop, and refocus on what you did right and make a plan on how to improve it.
This is much more productive way of looking at things, than just beating yourself all the time.

We all have days when we are sad and frustrated,
but they have to be there. Imagine how weird life would be if you’d just be firkin happy ALL
the time o0. You need the sad days, to appreciate the good one and to get stronger from them.

I also encourage you to take a look at yo eliot on youtube. The guy may look at first like a total meathead, but he has a lot of valuable knowledge and information to offer. And I’m confident that
you would find some relatable to your situation. He has a pretty awesome outlook on stuff.
Also for relaxing and reinforcing positive attitude I really like Paul McKenna audio tapes.

If you need anything, have any other questions or just need someone to talk to, you can totally
write me and I'll do my best to answer you in a hopefully useful way.

So keep trying, keep working on yourself (its a lifelong process:) and sooner or later you will succeed. I promise you that.

leslisa

Note: I was anorexic until I was about 25. I have a difficult time eating properly.

So, how do I see myself in the mirror? I'm OK with it, actually. It's just me. No one else sees me there. Although, thinking back, for a very long time I took a therapist's advise. I would look in the mirror, look myself right in the eye and say, "I am beautiful. I am thin. I deserve to be happy (or fine or content or whatever word I wanted that day). I accept myself as I am." Every freaking morning and night. I also kept a diary and never read it. I put in there what I could never say to anyone, including myself, and then I burned those suckers as soon as one was full.

That being said, If you asked, how do I see myself in pictures? I would answer, "Holy cow, Batman, who's that hefer?" I avoid cameras like the plague. I always have and probably always will see this huge, huge fat, ugly woman in pics. And people who take my pic without my consent are certified *kitten*. Looking at myself in a pic is a surefire way to throw myself back into some nasty eating habits.

I will take this moment to tell you as I get older I am more confident and things are easier. Not great, but easier. I no longer call my sister-in-law a stupid b*tch when she tries to take a pic. Of course, I also turn down any invitations to see her unless absolutely necessary.

mccindy72

You see yourself every day, so you aren't going to notice changes easily. Looking at older pictures and newer ones is the best way to see big differences. We all have this issue. People who haven't seen us in a long time notice changes the most. Even when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see myself the way I do when I see a picture of myself, because you tend to look at yourself more objectively in a picture, and in perspective with other objects and people in pictures as well.